understood | IC Contact

Your friend came to see me.

Hello. Yes, I thought he might. I would have come with him, but I didn't want to interfere.

When we spoke, you said you would bring him by. I thought you might have joined us.

I did say that, yes. Sorry. I was afraid he'd feel pressured if I had been to come along.

[ He's hyper-aware of how dependent on him this city would like Ray to be, and how little choice it will afford him by default, so he's trying really hard to be conscious of anything he might do to unduly influence him or take accidental advantage of the roles the city has placed them in, respectively. He's probably overcompensating a little. ]

Pressured in what way?

[ to do? to not do? she's genuinely curious. ]

To say yes.

What is it you thought he may be pressured to say yes to, Fraser?

[ There follows, unsurprisingly, several minutes of typing/not typing. ]

I asked him for permission to sleep with you, preferably with him involved as well.

And you thought if you were there he may have felt pressured to say yes to that right then?

Yes. I may have been overthinking it. I just wanted you to both be able to get an impression of each other without me hovering around.

You want me there with both of you?

[ typing, not typing. typing, not typing. ]

I'd like that very much. I'm sorry if I misinterpreted our conversation before, though, and it's not something you're interested in.

No misinterpretation, Mr Fraser, I simply want you to know what you're agreeing to.

Ray is "on board" as well.

I have a bed large enough for all of us.

Should we set a date?

Perhaps the two of you pick one and I'll arrange to have you over.

As you wish.

CONGRATULATIONS

Hi, Andy.

HEARD U GOT A BOYFRIEND

Edited 2021-06-06 04:16 (UTC)

Ray is a gossip.

Ray is a good friend.

That's also true.

I'm genuinely happy for you. This is what? Two years in the making?

Almost three.
I'm not very quick on the uptake about these things.

You don't say.

There's no need to rub it in.

I honestly thought it'd take you months.

You make it sound as though you knew this was going to happen eventually.

Edited 2021-06-06 04:45 (UTC)

I did.

[ Pick up the phone, Andy. ]

[ oh shit, am i getting yelled at?

he's. he's picking up. ]

Hi Andy, this is Fraser, I just have a quick question I'd like to ask you: how? How did you know? I didn't know!

Well, you were very obviously into each other. Ray knew, but didn't want to push you into anything, you didn't because you're not very self-aware, but I figured given this place and your contract, something would tip the scales sooner or later.

... I'm not very self aware?

You have a very clear idea of what you think you should want at any given time, but there's a gap between that and what you actually want.

Also, what do you mean we were very obviously into each other? How so? You never even saw us together!

People have a way of talking about the people they love. Sometimes you can tell just from the way they say their name.

And we say each other's names in the way that people do when they're talking about the people they love?

Yes. How is this surprising?

Emulate it.

[ he can't remember the exact wording, but his intonation is pretty on point. ]

Should I tell you about that time I hypnotized Ray?

... oh.

Yes, I see what you mean.

It's very cute. He's more transparent about it.

I should have noticed.

It's not your fault. Two cops? Hooking up with each other? Unthinkable, especially in your time.

Well.

... I suppose when you think about it that way, there's at least one significant upside to us having been forcibly removed from our time.

It's not like prejudice is gone forever, but things are better in many ways.

Still, I hope eventually we get to take this back home.

I hope you do too.

I'm told people tend to disappear from Duplicity after about a year on average, but— well.

I'll try to remain optimistic about where they go.

I've heard sometimes they leave and come back with new memories.

Yeah. But not consistently.

Has anyone actually done the math?

Do you mean, on the percentage of people who return with new memories versus the total who disappear? I don't know, but it's an interesting question.

Average stay would be interesting too.

Mm. Yeah. The one year figure is just the rough estimate of someone who's been here longer.

It feels high but I haven't gone around polling people.

I didn't clarify whether he was talking about mean or median, either.

I guess that's something to talk about later.

I had a proposal for you, the sexy kind. Wanna move back to text for it?

Oh. Ah, so did I, actually. But text might be for the best.

[ text it is, he wouldn't want to give the poor soul a panic attack. ]

You first.

Edited 2021-06-06 06:40 (UTC)

Well, I'd count it a kindness if you didn't bring this up with Ray, because I'd like to ask him myself, but I thought if you both thought you'd enjoy yourselves, it might be nice if I could watch the two of you together.

Oh, look at that. Our ideas kinda line up.

I'm for it if he is. Do you think you just want to watch or would you like to direct?

Directing hadn't occurred to me as an option.

I'm guessing Ray will want you more involved than just sitting there and watching.

I might get tongue-tied.

You'll be fine. Maybe I can coach you first, I was gonna offer to cam for you.

Masturbate for you on camera, thought the distance might make it easier for you to use your words.

[ It's a really good thing that they moved to text. ]

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I'd prefer to be able to smell you.
I don't mean to be crude.

Ben, are you telling me you'd like me to masturbate for you in person?

No.

I mean, not no.
Sorry. That wasn't very clear.
No, I'm not telling you that, not, no, I'm rejecting that idea out of hand.

I'm not sure if this is going to make any sense, but I think it might be easier if Ray is involved, because it's easier to know what I want when Ray is involved.

It makes sense, and I'd love to. Let me know what Ray thinks, if he's game we'll want words for keep going too. Green, yellow, red are common.

Like traffic lights?

Yes, any of us can stop the scene at any point.

Or urge it on.

Well, we can use normal words for that. I use green to check-in, if my partner seems overwhelmed I ask for a color, especially if they seem a bit out of it, like it wouldn't occur to them to bring it up.

I see. That's smart thinking.

It's... maybe not basic etiquette, but it's in the list of things good doms know to do.

I'll keep it in mind.

If we do this, I'll take the lead.

What if Ray wants to take the lead?

I can roll with that too.

[ But he figures everyone involved wants to see Ray lose his entire mind, so. ]

I'll let you know once I've talked to him.

I look forward to it 🥵

Come home. Rampaging tiger on the loose.

Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to Dolittle the tiger.

[ The message bounces with no real indication of why. ]

[ He tries to call and also send another 14 messages before giving up.

Then googles how to kill a tiger. ]

[ Everything is probably fine. Fraser is normally at work right now anyway.

But then he is late coming home. ]

[ Fraser isn't in the habit of not answering his phone or being late, so Andy is absolutely convinced he got himself killed by the fucking tiger.

He's trying to figure out if he should make a post either asking to keep an eye out or just saying the fucking Mountie got himself killed again. He has to tell Ray too.

Where's Dief? Dief will help him not hyperventilate. ]

[ It seems like Fraser took him to work today. He does that occasionally, since he works out of doors.

About an hour later than normal, though, they both come home, Fraser carrying on a slightly exasperated one-sided conversation with Dief as usual. ]

[ The second Andy sees him he gets to his feet and goes into the bathroom, practically slamming the door behind him. ]

...

[ That's... odd... but Fraser isn't about to infringe on his privacy, so he just does his normal getting home routine of taking off his boots, washing his hands, refilling Diefenbaker's water and starting the kettle. ]

[ He gets out twenty minutes later, hair wet but otherwise fine, he opens his mouth to greet Fraser but then decides he's not ready for a conversation and goes over to the living room to flop down on the couch. ]

[ By this point, Fraser has made a pot of chamomile tea, so he pours two mugs and goes over to sit next to Andy and offer him one. ]

Hi, Andy.

[ He accepts the mug and stares at it. ]

I tried to call you.

Did you? I suppose it wouldn't have gotten through. I'm sorry... I had to get my device replaced after work. You see, there was this squirrel— that's not important. What is important is that I'm sorry if I worried you.

Edited 2021-09-16 23:47 (UTC)

Doesn't matter. There was a rampaging tiger, but I imagine they've handled it by now.

[ He's still staring at the mug. ]

Andy, are you alright?

I was worried, but it's fine now.

[ He sips at the tea, absolutely forcing his pulse to stay steady. He hasn't looked at Fraser at all. ]

I don't mean to criticize, but you're acting very strangely.

[ Fine, he gets a look now. ]

I thought you'd died again.

Andy...

[ Fraser puts a hand on his shoulder, tentatively. ]

It's on me. I'm fine, just gotta figure my shit out.

I'd like to help.

You being reachable when there's a tiger on the loose would help a lot.

[ He makes no attempt to try to sound not pissy. ]

I didn't know there was a tiger on the loose, and I was at work.

The last time you were unreachable and late it was because you'd drowned, Fraser.

... you don't usually call me Fraser.

[ He sets the mug on the bedside table so he can press the heel of his hands against his eyes. ]

I don't think this is helping.

I'll certainly do my best to notify you in the future if I'm going to be late. I could have contacted you from a co-worker's device.

But that's not addressing the actual problem, which is me being a paranoid asshole.

That's not what you're doing.

[ He catches Andy's wrists and gently guides his hands away from his face. ]

Andy, look at me.

[ God fine, Andy looks at him. ]

I'm sorry, you don't have to comfort me, I'll work it out.

[ Look at him being clear and reasonable and totally not a guy who had some kind of panic attack not fifteen minutes ago. ]

[ Fraser holds his hands, steady, measured and inexorable as always. ]

You're my friend and my lover, and I frightened you.

[ Fraser is making it really hard to stay collected. ]

I really don't think you frightened me. You didn't do anything.

My absence frightened you, then. That being the case, I'd like to be here for you now.

[ He isn't letting go of Andy's hands. ]

Edited 2021-09-17 02:45 (UTC)

This would be a lot easier if you'd just acknowledge I'm being dumb and need to get over myself.

I'm afraid I can't do that. There's a tiger on the loose, and I drowned last month. Perhaps you were jumping to conclusions, but I think it's understandable, considering the circumstances.

Ugh, this sucks.

[ 8-( ]

Sorry.

[ Slowly, giving Andy time to pull away, Fraser gathers him into his lap. ]

[ No, it's fine, he's gonna let this happen. This is probably the less immature option. ]

I don't want to be on edge all the time.

That seems like something you can work on.

[ But for now, cuddles. ]

I can't be mean to you even when I want to be.

[ This is nice, though, very comforting. ]

You could try, if it would make you feel better.

It wouldn't, it'd be like kicking a puppy.

Is there something else that would make you feel better?

I'm fine. I'm glad you're safe.

The question stands.

I really don't know.

[ Fraser leans his head against Andy's, still just holding him. ]

You can tell me if I'm being overbearing. It's just that you seem to think you need to deal with your feelings around me without involving me. And... while you have the perfect right to do so, it's... we live together, we're intimate with each other, and I care for you deeply. So I don't want you to feel that you have to spare me, out of a misplaced sense of duty.

[ He's quiet for a while, trying to get his own thoughts organized. ]

I'm not used to having this many feelings.

I understand.

It'd be nice to have a dial.

There's meditation.

If I had the head for meditation I wouldn't be neck deep into BDSM.

[ He gives a slightly strangled laugh. ]

My mistake.

It's really rude of you to laugh at my emotional issues, Ben.

[ He's kidding, and he's back to Ben, so clearly he's feeling better. ]

Sorry.

[ He apologises reflexively anyway, but he's smiling. ]

It feels like I'm quickly approaching some massive meltdown and I'd really rather not.

Tell me what's troubling you.

[ He's not entirely aware that he's phrased it as an order. ]

[ Andy is very aware it was phrased as an order, and also very aware of his own urge to obey it. ]

On what level? Because I have many layers of troubles.

Well, what do you feel is leading up to a meltdown?

There's always something, isn't there? An explosion, or flooding, or that fucking camp. And it's not going to stop.

That's very likely to be true.

I don't have the emotional fortitude to deal with bi-weekly crises while caring about people.

You know, I don't usually say this, but I think you maybe holding yourself to too high a standard.

I don't think wanting to keep my shit together is a high standard.

It's alright to need an outlet for your feelings.

You're saying I should get tied up more often?

[ Fraser considers this, then leans in and murmurs softly in Andy's ear. ]

If you'd like, we can try that.

[ He huffs out a breathless laugh, finally feeling more like himself. ]

I've been such a bad influence on you.

I disagree.

You were so polite.

Has that changed?

You're a threat now.

... in what sense?

Come on, you have to know what lowering your voice like that does to me.

I'm afraid I hadn't thought about it.

[ The Mountie is confused. ]

Oh, come on. You leaned closed and murmured, you had to know!

I was sharing a private thought.

You were making me blush!

It wasn't intentional, but I can't bring myself to regret it.

... are you going to make it intentional now that you know?

Ah...

[ Now it is Fraser who is blushing. ]

This is exactly what I mean when I say I'm a bad influence.

You're a liberating influence.

To my own detriment.

Is that really true?

Obviously not, since I'm right here getting cuddles.

And since I am, in fact, volunteering to tie you up more often.

I'm very excited about that.

And... if you need to distance yourself, I— well, I do understand.

I thought about that, but decided that'd just make me feel worse.

It's a relief to hear that, Andy.

[ Sometimes when Fraser smiles, it seems like an even brighter smile is trying to get through his reserve. ]

God, you're gorgeous when you smile.

[ He flusters so hard he starts sweating, and kisses Andy to cover it up. ]

[ This is a win for Andy. ]

... were we discussing something?

[ He can't remember. ]

Dealing with my feelings via bondage?

Edited 2021-09-17 22:36 (UTC)

Oh, that's right.

Shall I tie you up?

What, right now?

Yeah. Ray won't be home for a few hours.

What do you have in mind?

I hadn't thought that far. Is there anything you'd like?

Not as intense as last time?

We don't have to use knives.

But you're not into impact.

Well, it doesn't have to be about me.

I don't want you to hit me if you don't want to hit me.

Do you have any other ideas?

You can just tie me up, I'm into that.

[ Fraser kisses Andy coaxingly, slipping a hand around to rest on the back of his neck, squeezing lightly. ]

As you wish.

[ Andy kisses him back, sighing against him. ]

[ Fraser is going to pick him up and carry him to bed. ]

Ben!

[ He's not fighting it but he is very startled. ]

[ Oh dear. He doesn't put Andy down, but he pauses mid-stride. ]

Sorry— should I...?

You're ridiculous.

[ And he gets a kiss for it. ]

[ Okay hang on he has to stand here and kiss Andy while holding him for a minute here before he can carry him the rest of the way to bed. ]

[ That's fine. Ben is strong. ]

Would you like me to tie you up lying down?

[ As he lays him down on the bed. ]

Mmh, you could blindfold me.

[ He's not sure if that will lead to less intense, but now that he's said it out loud he really wants it. ]

Let's try that.

[ He's going to start taking off Andy's pants. ]

You have a caretaker's instincts.

Do I...?

Yeah, you're a natural.

[ Now he's going for Andy's shirt buttons. ]

... you're gorgeous when you smile.

Aren't I gorgeous all of the time?

[ He's going to let Ben do whatever he wants to him. ]

Well. Yes.

[ He's stripping him down, tying him spread-eagle to the bed, and blindfolding him with a bandana. ]

[ He licks his lips, pulling a little at the knots. ]

We should try a swing some time.

[ As always, they're very secure. ]

What are those... for?

Sex while suspended.

... ah.

Somehow I think shibari is more appealing, but I don't mind giving it a try.

[ His voice is a little muffled because he's kissing his way up Andy's inner thigh, nipping sharply at the sensitive skin near the top. ]

[ This was the obvious outcome so there's no reason for Andy to be as startled as he is.

He moans at the nip, jerking a little. ]

Fuck, Fraser.

Is there a problem?

[ He tweaks one of Andy's nipples. ]

[ That is very distracting. ]

I'm not sure I've ever trusted anyone this much this soon.

You can trust me.

I know.

[ It freaks him out. ]

[ Fraser stretches up to nip at his throat. ]

Is that a problem for you?

It's new.

[ Not a problem, exactly, but also not something he knows how to handle. ]

Is that why things have been... intense?

Yeah, partly.

Mm.

[ He can't add anything more coherent because he's busy mouthing Andy's balls, sucking them both into his mouth at once, producing a stinging tug, then biting lightly, which, while perfectly controlled, has to feel dangerous. ]

Fuck, Ben!

[ He wasn't expecting this. Who would have expected that? He immediately loses his train of thought. ]

[ His tongue flicks lightly back and forth inside the warm, sealed vacuum of his mouth.

It turns out that, under these specific conditions, that feels a lot like being sharply slapped. ]

[ He thinks he knows what's happening, but then Ben does whatever it is he's doing and he moans, jerking against him, and regrets the blindfold so much. ]

Ben, Ben, please.

[ It's not entirely clear what he's begging for. He's hard, though, so possibly more of that. ]

[ Andy said he wanted less intense, though, so Fraser backs off. ]

Please, what?

[ God, he's so confused. Panting helplessly. ]

I don't know.

Give me a colour.

Green.

[ Colors are so much easier. ]

[ Excellent. He ducks back down to do it again. ]

[ Fuck, Andy cracks up when he feels Ben's mouth again, turning his head to muffle his laughter against his arm. ]

Hmmm...?

[ With his mouth full. ]

You're just unbelievable.

[ He responds by flicking his tongue back and forth rapidly, sucking lightly as he does so, smoothing his hands up Andy's sides at the same time. It's like they're both blindfolded now; Fraser can't see with his face buried in Andy's crotch, either. Every time he breathes, he breathes him in. It's not something he expected to like as much as he does. ]

[ This is not less intense but Andy doesn't want it to stop. He just wants to stop thinking and enjoy it, it should be easy since he's tied up and blindfolded and has nowhere to go. ]

[ Fraser keeps doing what he's doing until Andy starts to squirm, and then rather than stopping, he just wraps his hand around Andy's cock and starts to stroke him off at the same time. ]

[ Andy doesn't even try to form words, he just moans, rocking into Ben's hand as much as he can until he comes. ]

[ Once he's through it, Fraser leans up and pulls the blindfold off. ]

Hi.

[ He's still not speaking, but he is pulling his head up to try to kiss him. ]

[ Fraser kisses back eagerly, his clean hand coming up to cup Andy's cheek. ]

[ Kissing is great because it means he doesn't have to think in words. ]

[ It's nice because Fraser can prop himself up on one elbow and use his free hand to reach back and caress the healing cuts he left along the tops of Andy's shoulders the other day, too. ]

[ He tugs at his still bound hands, making a quiet, questioning sound while they kiss. ]

I'm not finished.

[ Oh god. He huffs out another laugh, suddenly both scared and horny. ]

[ He is going to roll off of Andy and get undressed, though. Quickly. ]

[ Andy watches him, he'd be trying to get his thoughts back in order to say things again but there's no point if Ben's gonna come back and make him lose it again. ]

[ Well, somebody is going to lose it, anyway. Fraser straddles Andy's chest. ]

May I?

[ He's hard, and he's running his thumb over Andy's lower lip, so the unspoken "...fuck your mouth?" is probably pretty obvious. ]

[ Oh, oh, yeah. He can find a word for this. ]

Fuck, yes.

[ Two words. ]

You almost sound relieved.

[ Not that Andy will be able to answer, as Fraser presses into his mouth at the same time that he's commenting. ]

[ He is a little relieved, he likes pleasuring Ben, and sucking cock, and not being in control, so everything about this is fantastic.

He hums, pleased, pressing his tongue against Ben's cock as he sucks. ]

[ Fraser lets himself be a little rough, because he knows Andy likes that. Not deliberately aggressive, just not trying to be very gently and considerately controlled the way he'd default to. ]

[ Andy loves it rough, he can't dislocate how own jaw like a fucking snake, but he can relax and let Ben set the pace. If he could speak he'd ask Ben to pull at his hair. ]

[ He doesn't have to ask—Fraser loves having something to hold onto. As soon as he starts to get into it, he threads his fingers through Andy's hair and pulls, using the hold to get the angle he wants. ]

[ Andy is very easy to steer, and if this takes longer than five minutes, he gets hard again. He's very into it. ]

[ It does take longer than five minutes... though not by much. Fraser doesn't pull back when he comes, trusting Andy to swallow. ]

[ Andy does swallow, he's very neat about it. Least he can do is follow Ben's example. He licks Ben's cock even as he draws back. ]

[ Fraser has to lean against the headboard for a second before he can get it together to untie Andy, but he hesitates when he notices he's hard again. ]

Oh.

[ Somehow he sounds positively greedy. ]

Oh no.

[ He's fucking giggling though, helplessly. ]

[ Running his fingers lightly up the length of Andy's cock... ]

No?

Stop being so politely threatening, it's a turn-on.

[ He can't believe he's still tied up. ]

That doesn't sound a lot like "no".

[ He does it again, flicking his thumb across the tip. ]

Fuck, be nice to me.

[ That's a mistake, probably, he has no idea of what Ben's idea of nice is right now. ]

I very much intend to be.

[ If he grabs some lube, that's nice, right? ]

Kiss me?

[ It's very much a request. ]

It only takes an extra second to be courteous, Andy.

[ That means, "Say please." ]

[ He laughs and decides to be stubborn for five solid seconds, tugging at his wrists. ]

[ Okay, Fraser will lube up his fingers and tease at Andy's hole while he thinks about that. ]

How is that courteous, Ben?

[ He's still very amused and very turned on and desperately wants a kiss. ]

—uh.

[ Well if he wanted Fraser to stop and think about what he's doing and absolutely short circuit and just put his face in his hands despite the fact that they're all gooey, that was the way to accomplish that. ]

[ Oh no, I broke the Mountie again. ]

Fuck. Hey, Ben, talk to me.

[ He's still tied up so he can't help. ]

[ What if he just, unties him. ]

I'm terribly sorry.

[ He sits up as soon as he can and immediately reaches for him. ]

I was playing. Are you okay?

I'm fine.

[ He doesn't resist being reached for, but he doesn't really respond to it. ]

You know I was loving that, right?

[ Maybe they can talk through this??? Not that he expects to pick it back up, just learn to navigate these things when something like this happens. ]

Sorry, Andy.

[ Deeply chagrined. ]

It's okay. I loved what we did before too.

You got on your head, right? It snapped you out?

[ He's not personally familiar with anything like it, but he can guess. ]

[ He nods :x ]

May I kiss you?

You shouldn't have to— to walk me through this.

That's a fun role-reversal we just walked into. I want to be here with you.

[ He really can't argue with that at this point. ]

Well... thank you kindly.

You didn't say if I could kiss you.

[ He just softly kisses Andy in response. ]

[ Oh good. It's a very tentative kiss on Andy's part, careful and gentle. He doesn't want to spook Ben again. ]

[ Fraser relaxes into it, threading a hand through his hair. ]

I thought I'd be way dumber about this. You've managed to curtail my self-destructive impulses.

What do you mean...?

Emotional attachments scare me and typically I'd have run away as soon as I got a whiff of it. Various circumstances made me not do that, and now you're actively stopping me from it.

I'd much rather you didn't run away.

It's fine, I don't think I will.

I'm glad to hear that, Andy.

[ He kisses him again. ]

[ Oh good, this is nice. ]

[ After a few moments of that, Fraser shudders and wraps himself around Andy properly, nuzzling at his neck. ]

[ Andy hugs him back, still being tentative. ]

Better?

Yes. I'm fine.

[ Andy runs his fingers through the back of Fraser's hair. ]

Wanna tell me what you're thinking?

It was silly to be so thrown.

It's not. You're still figuring out how this fits with who you are— you're running before you're walking, hiccups are normal.

...

[ After deep thought... ]

I think I may feel— uncomfortable.

[ He's not sure, though. ]

Okay. Let's see if we can narrow it down, we know I triggered it, but why did it bug you?

[ Andy has an idea, but he'd like Fraser to get there on his own. ]

...

I'd rather not say.

Even if I promise not to judge?

I know that you won't.

I don't think every insecurity needs to be voiced, but it does help on occasion.

It's not an insecurity, exactly.

What is it?

Well, you see, it's just a bit crude, Andy.

... you could write it down for me. If you wanted.

It's just that I realized that perhaps there's no courteous way to... do what I was about to do.

Ah, yeah, I figured. I don't see how that's a bad thing, though.

I don't think it is, exactly, but it... took me out of things, when I thought about it.

I think maybe there was some... ah, cognitive dissonance there. A lot changed for you very fast, and your self-image hasn't quite caught up.

I'm not really clear on what you mean by that.

You're not used to thinking about yourself as someone who has kinky sex with other men.

...

[ Okay yes thanks he's dying again, point proven. ]

You have a point.

[ Andy rubs his back. ]

Hey, hey. It's all right, this is something you can defeat with logic. Do you think there's anything wrong with it?

No...

Do you enjoy it? Because I do, very much.

[ He nods mutely :x ]

And it's built on mutual respect, right? We have safeguards so we stop if either of us is no longer enjoying it. So there's nothing rude about it.

No, but...

[ He has absolutely no idea how to articulate what he's feeling. ]

Do you want a minute or should I try to guess?

Must we discuss this?

I think it'd be good, yeah. You're very... self-contained. If we let these kind of thing fester it'll become a bigger think in the long run.

I don't think it's festering.

Ah... well, we don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to. But I know you're still getting drops.

I never did tell you about subspace, did I?

No, I forgot to ask. Sorry.

It's fine. Subspace is a kind of natural high people sometimes go into during a scene, a bit trance-like.

[ He probably doesn't need to explain the science behind it, Ben would know how endorphins and so forth could get someone there. ]

I don't... have much experience with it. But I've felt like I'm teetering close with you and I don't want you to freak out if it does happen.

I don't think that would freak me out. I have hypnotized you, after all.

People can go non-verbal and not be entirely aware of their own limits.

[ He's a little embarrassed talking about it. ]

[ Fraser kisses him, immediately less awkward now that he's focusing on Andy again. ]

If we play with knives again, should we set some specific limits ahead of time, then?

[ It's his turn to be a little in his head, but he kisses Ben back easily. ]

Mmh. Maybe.

Let's do that, and see how it affects things.

... I'm not sure of what new limits I'd set? I trust you.

Well... maybe I should come up with a plan, and tell it to you ahead of time.

Mmh.

[ He's still thoughtful about it. ]

[ Fraser elbows him gently. ]

I'll talk about what I was thinking of you tell me what you're thinking.

[ Andy lets his head drop against Ben's shoulder. ]

Give me a minute to put my thoughts in order.

[ That's fine with Fraser. He takes Andy's hand and threads their fingers together, being quiet. ]

[ He feels ridiculous. Which is a sign he should just talk about it. ]

It is a bigger deal for me than it is for you, that you can just— get me there.

You mentioned that you don't have a lot of experience with it.

I don't trust easily.

You did mention that it freaks you out.

I might be having some cognitive dissonance too. I think I should be more alarmed than I am, and it keeps not happening, so I end up feeling weird and confused.

I can understand that. You trust me, but you don't entirely trust your trust in me.

[ He hadn't thought of it like that, but it makes sense. ]

... yeah, that sounds right.

[ Fraser squeezes his hand. ]

It's alright that it feels weird. And I hope you know that I'm honoured by your trust in me.

Edited 2021-09-20 05:33 (UTC)

Your turn.

I think I'm just uncomfortable with... with, well, passion.

[ Andy deserves an award for managing to continue this conversation while the sentence 'I am falling for this man' runs on loop through his head. ]

With feeling it?

No... well. Yes, but...

[ He gestures helplessly. ]

I think I'm gonna need you to finish that thought, but you can take your time.

...

Sex scares me.

[ Andy meets his eyes and gives him a smile that's all mischief. ]

Well then, the obvious solution in this case is exposure therapy.

Andy.

[ He takes Ben's hands to pull them away from his face. ]

Ben.

It's not... that.

Then?

I think it's... it's related to the reason I don't drink. I think, so often, people drink in order to escape their own lives, to... to lose themselves in something external. I've never felt the need to do that. I've always thought it was that simple—never feeling the need—but perhaps it goes deeper than that. Perhaps with alcohol, or sex, or anything else that involves a... a letting go of inhibitions... I actually fear that escape. Perhaps I fear that I really will lose myself, for more than the time being. That I won't be able to find myself again. And... I mean, to escape my life, really, even the language I'm using, it's—well, the French even refer to orgasm as "a little death," and so in a sense... I think some part of me feels that letting go will result in... some kind of death of the self, so to speak. I find physical intimacy... consuming, in that way. It's difficult.

It's easier when it's... a means to an end, I suppose. An expression of care for another person. But I... I do value my inhibitions. Generally speaking. And so... when I'm reminded that I've put them aside for a time... well, in a way... inhibitions, courtesy, a sense of being... civilized, it's all of a piece. There's this sense that I've lost who I choose to be. It's not that I'm without passion, but that giving myself over to passion feels like abandoning reason and principle, and doing that purely for pleasure and escape... terrifies me.

[ Andy doesn't interrupt at all throughout, he just listens attentively. When he's done, Andy leans in to give him a light peck on the lips. ]

That makes sense.

It does?

It does. You have very clear limits for yourself, catching yourself stepping outside of them freaks you out.

Do you feel weird when you think about the sex you had after the fact?

Yeah.

Do you have any leisurely activities? Things you do just for fun.

Just for fun?

... I listen to music. I go for hikes.

Do you lose track of time? Forget your stressors for a bit?

It's very rare that I lose track of time. But I don't think I tend to dwell on stressors at any time.

So the difference between that and sex is what? Intensity?

They don't make me stop thinking. There's always... a level of analysis, out in nature. If nothing else, I'll tend to catalogue flora and fauna as I go... look for signs of tracks... estimate wind speed and direction. With music, as well, there's always historical context to consider, and all the technicalities, the theory... it's not just instinct, just sensation. I'm used to relying on both of those—instinct and senses—as tools. But not losing myself in them.

We could try making it more controlled on your end, but I think learning to let go gradually would be better.

I'm not sure that... I mean to say. What if I do get lost? What if this is the start of a slippery slope? What if I develop a... a sex addiction?

I get the concern and the fear, I really do. But I don't think it's a risk, I think you could get wrapped into it for a while, like how most people who go to a casino for the first time get hooked and end up with a moral hangover.

Plus, honestly, I could see something like a sex addiction coming a mile away and I'd intervene before it got bad.

It's just that I'm very aware that it's not in my nature to let things go.

... are we still talking about sex?

[ Because if they're not this is getting into a more serious conversation. ]

What else would we be talking about?

... the... temporary nature of relationships in this place.

I'm not sure I know quite what you mean.

Nevermind. We're still talking about sex, then.

I was, yes. It's certainly not a personality trait that only applies to my... my "sex life," though. It's just in that context that it worries me.

[ Always with the air quotes. ]

Have you ever had a problem with addiction? Or... smaller things like, being unable to stop eating chips until you're out?

Not... exactly. It's more things like... answers, or the pursuit of justice.

Do you think that for you, the pursuit of justice and the pursuit of orgasms could ever fall on the same priority level?

It could happen! You don't know it won't!

[ He laughs. He doesn't want to, but he can't help it. ]

Ben, I think maybe, maybe we get to a point where I don't have to wish you'd gagged me before we started. I'm absolutely certain you are at no risk of ever prioritizing sex over more important aspects of your life.

[ Maybe he could get wrapped up in a person, but Ben's person is Ray, they'll be fine. ]

...

But even if I accept, intellectually, that it will do me no harm to learn to let go in this particular context, I don't know how to get over the... well, to be frank, impulse to panic, though. Especially in the moment.

Edited 2021-09-21 01:56 (UTC)

Then panic. Feel whatever your body needs to feel, talk it out, the rest of you will catch up with time.

I wasn't entirely kidding about exposure therapy.

I absolutely cannot ask you to be my sex therapist, Andy.

That sounds unethical. And that's not what I'm offering, I'm saying we should continue as we have and it's fine if you panic.

And you're really sure about that?

Absolutely. I'm never going to be upset if you need to stop.

[ He sighs softly, then goes quiet, feeling something akin to grief and not understanding why in the least. ]

Hey, what's wrong?

I don't... know. I don't think anything is wrong.

You look sad.

Do I?

... you do. What can I do?

I'm not sure. I didn't realize.

What would you like our relationship to look like, ideally.

Ideally?

Mmh, if we didn't have to worry about feelings or panic.

I've never really thought about it.

Ah... then I have no idea of what went wrong.

Would you like our relationship to change, Andy? Ideally?

... I like what we're doing now.

[ He likes this better when it's about Ben. ]

As do I. But... ideally?

Within this hellhole's limits, ideally we'd have a bigger place with a built-in playroom and you and Ray would tag team me often.

[ He's deflecting a little, because he doesn't know and thinking about it freaks him out. ]

It's quite unfortunate that you're not permitted to live with us as someone else's sub.

I'm sure I'll be around a lot regardless.

[ The thought of being around less and moving out is fine and not at all upsetting and he definitely has no negative feelings about it at all. ]

I certainly hope so.

[ Fraser puts an arm around him, pulling him closer. ]

[ Maybe they can just cuddle? That'd work, right? ]

[ Yes, cuddles are good. ]

quick question, do u know anything about arthurian legends?

Hi, Andy. I know some things about Arthurian legends, yes... although I'm hardly an expert by any means. Why do you ask?

Henry's boyfriend told me about Glendower and I tried very hard to pay attention but idk if I actually absorbed anything and I'm vaguely worried he'll try to quiz me later.

Are you referring to Owen Glendower?

He said Owain but I assume it's the same thing.

Owain Glyndwr or Owen Glendower. Yes. He's not Arthurian.

He mentioned King Arthur specifically. The legend of the sleeping kings?

Yes, Arthur and Glyndwr are both legendary "sleeping kings" or "once and future kings of Britain," but they're not contemporaneous. That is, Glyndwr and Arthur share a legendary archetype, but Glyndwr does not feature in Arthurian legends. For one thing, Glyndwr is an actual historical figure, while scholars disagree on who King Arthur may have been, if he even existed to begin with.

I so desperately need you and Gansey to be in the same room.

I take it Gansey is Henry's boyfriend?

Yes, but we're not using the word "boyfriend", they're still figuring out terminology.

Is he Welsh?

He sounds American. But he might be a wizard— the whole friend group is magic types.

I only asked because Glyndwr was Welsh.

I know. Apparently they found the tomb in Virginia, though.

How puzzling.

You will love this kid so much.

I'm interested to meet him.

I'll tell Henry, maybe we can have them over. And Blue since they're a triangle.

I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch the meaning of that last sentence.

A trouple? Three people in a relationship with each other.

Oh, I see!

Not sure about the optics of 5 guys having dinner with 1 teenage girl tho.

You could invite Alina.

Good idea. I'll see how she feels about it.

I'll look forward to it.

Edited (FONT) 2022-01-08 06:24 (UTC)

❝

DUPLICITY CITATION No. 18134
Violation: Sexual Deviancy (Dominant/Dominant)
Fine: $500 + 1 week Realignment
Payments must be received within 30 calendar days, or debts will be handed over to the Remittance Facility.

❞

Hey Ben, quick question: Can you get blood out of lace?

Asking for a friend.

It depends on the volume of blood, the base material and original colour of the lace, and how long the blood has had to set.

Thx boo. If she asks, will u help me try to get the stain off?

possibly stains. idk how literal she was about the whole everything

I'll do my best, of course.

thank, ilusfm

ilusfm?

shorthand for i love you. sorry, I text like that with Grace and forget.

She told me she'd explain if there were texting idioms I didn't understand.

there's a whole vocabulary

So I've gathered.

anyway, ilu, ily, and variations mean 'i love you'

[ He's not explaining sfm because it's embarrassing. ]

Where does the "sfm" part come into it?

first word is 'so' u can figure out the others

I'm really not sure that I can.

ben pls, im already embarrassed ¿

If it were just 'sm' then I would assume it stood for so much, but I'm not sure what the f
Never mind, I got it.

see? ilusfm

&iU
Is that anything?

it sure is now ♥

[A small package is left at Benton's door. It's not addressed to Benton, but to Benedetta. Inside is a small well-calligraphed note 'For my Princess- Your Knight in Shining Armor'. And wrapped inside white tissue paper, a small bear:]

[ Oh no. Why. Why!!!

... despite absolutely not wanting a small princess bear, Fraser brings it inside and sticks it on a shelf with the note instead of throwing it away.

Then he texts Wade. ]

You're surprisingly skilled at calligraphy.

What can I say? I have talented fingers. Among other things!

[ Typing, not typing. Typing, not typing. Typing. ]

I would prefer it if you didn't call me Benedetta.

No? [You're no fun, Benton!]
But, like, what if I want to see you blush?

No. Even when I have posed as a woman in the past, I simply went by Ms. Fraser.
And, as you've probably realized, that's really not difficult to achieve.

I have noticed that. [and he's enjoyed it immensely.]

I did really enjoy that fantasy... [even if perhaps Benton did not. ]

[ He does not reply for an entire hour. Eventually, though... ]

As did I, I'll admit.

[When he didn't respond right away, Wade figures that's answer enough. Is he sad? No. No, of course not. Of course not. It's expected. It's fine. ~~He's definitely sad.~~ So when he sees that text, he scrambles to answer back.]

You did?

I did.

I mean, it was evident, wasn't it?

At the time.
But what about when you came back to reality...?

[ There's some more typing/not typing for awhile. ]

My feelings were mixed.
You weren't disturbed by the experience at all?

I don't have the firmest grasp on reality, Benton.

[See? He used the right name this time.]

What's one story versus another?

Edited 2022-03-04 23:02 (UTC)

It wasn't so much the narrative that I minded. I'm not too proud to accept a much-needed assist from a friend, and I don't even particularly object to playing the part of a princess, although I am embarrassed not to have recognized the allegorical nature of the dragon in the moment.

[ Especially since Wade did, but he's not going to admit that, especially when it seems sort of unkind after Wade implied that maybe he was able to for reasons that aren't entirely positive or voluntary. But also just because Fraser can be a competitive jerk under the courtesy, but that doesn't mean he has to cop to it. ]

It was just that, while it has been suggested to me on multiple occasions that I may have a hole in my bag of marbles, I personally would have preferred that, if any versions of us were going to choose to be intimate, I would have been a version of myself who was more... myself.

I'm sorry, I may have lost track of that sentence.

I suppose it's nice to have that kind of control. Not that this place really allows for it often.

Do you even think we would have ever been intimate without it? You don't need to spare my feelings.

It had begun to occur to me that we might be.

Even after months here, I tend to be a little slow on the uptake when it comes to these things. I'm aware that's a problem I have.

[ Typing, not typing. Even over text it's clear he's having trouble expressing what he wants to say. ]

But I thought you and I were developing a rapport. And I know it's a luxury, especially here, to be able to let things develop gradually, between people who are more or less inhabiting a single identity.

[ If he were speaking aloud there would be a lot more filler noises, but he doesn't do that so much in writing. ]

As you say, it would have been nice.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to go on and on.

I did like our rapport. It was very nice rapport.
And it's not every day I can get swept off my feet by a man on a dog sled...

[Now that he's reading Benton's words, he is feeling like something was stolen from him too. An experience that he's not really had here. Even back home in a way. As much as he'd loved Vanessa, they had fallen into bed near immediately upon meeting.]

Well, I should hope not.
Anyway, I find myself somewhat at a loss as to how to behave now. Because I both have and haven't been intimate with you, and I both was and wasn't myself, and I both did and didn't choose it.

It's a bit awkward, honestly.

I don't know what to tell you or how to change that.
Do you want me to take the bear back...?

[MUST. REFRAIN. FROM. BAREBACK. JOKE!]

That's not necessary.

And there is, of course, the obvious solution.

What? I come over and we bang?

Well, I wasn't going to put it quite like that.

[ Yeah though. ]

Should I come over now, or...?

[ There is another long gap, maybe fifteen minutes. ]

Couldn't we go out together sometime first? Dinner, perhaps, or dancing...?

Oh. Right. Slow and steady wins the race?

Dinner and dancing sound nice.

[More than nice, actually.]

I'd like that very much.

Name a day and time and I'm there!

Day after tomorrow, six o'clock?

You got it! I'll even dress up!

Meet you at the top of the elevator?

Oh! I'm actually in the Up now.
Moved in with the Dominant I contracted with.
I'm the provided housing. 001-A.

That's good news! Shall we meet in the lobby, then?

It is! And yes, I'll see you then.

------------------------

[The next day comes and Wade is ready and waiting in the lobby. He's early even, which is very unlike him. But he's excited and trying to make a good impression! Hopefully Benton likes his suit? He'd had it specially made!

Leaning against the wall, he adjusts the sleeves and eyes the door.]

[ Fraser barks out a startled laugh when he sees Wade and then hides his mouth behind his hand. He's dressed nicely himself in slim-fitting black slacks and a buttoned up shirt, but, well. It hardly compares. ]

Wade. Good evening. Oh dear, I feel under-dressed.

Edited 2022-03-06 01:21 (UTC)

Was this too much? [He looks down at himself, then back up, almost sheepish.] I can take off the coat...?

No, no. Red suits you.

[ He offers Wade his arm. ]

You know it! [Wade beams back and quickly and gladly takes the offered arm, taking his elbow with both hands and sliding in close.] So where are we going to eat?

I was thinking "Bitchados"...? [ Since he knows that's the real name of the restaurant, he doesn't do physical air quotes, but they're audible anyway. ]

How'd you know I like tacos? [Just don't get him started on Chimichangas. It's a whole thing.] That sounds perfect.

I'm glad you approve.

[ Although he's trying his best not to sound too relieved, it's possible Fraser got a little worked up about this whole outing. To the extent that he made Andy dress him. It shows in the fact that he looks subtly less dorky than usual, and also that he has his top two buttons undone. ]

I do! [Excuse him, he's just gonna lean his head against Benton's shoulder. It's a little awkward since Wade's slightly taller, but he makes it work. And Andy dressed Benton very well. Especially that thing with the buttons. Very nice.

Not that Wade really has any complaints with how he normally looks.]

You know, no one's ever taken me out before. I went out on dates back home, sure-- [Before here, before the scars before Vanessa and during.] but I was usually the one doing the taking.

Oh, well—

[ For a moment he's not really sure how to respond to that, but then he huffs a quiet laugh, slightly awkward but sincere. ]

In that case, I'm honoured to be the first.

[ He covers Wade's hand with his, at his elbow, and presses it gently. ]

[He's very pleased with that, contenting himself with walking and holding Benton's arm. It's the sort of attention he's been lacking. Sex is nice and all. Very nice. But genuine affection, even a touch of a hand is a different sort of thing.

Doing this night out is probably good for both of them, to be honest. Wade might not be repressed in the way the dragon was supposed to represent for Benton, but he's far from well-adjusted.]

[ As they walk, Fraser gradually relaxes. This is nice, so far. ]

... I hope you're not disappointed that I didn't wear a dress.

[ He's still a bit shy when he brings that up, though. ]

I wouldn't have minded if you had. [He'd liked the dress. Wade looks him up and down, and then flicks his free hand over the two unbuttoned buttons] But I do like this. And your lumberjack look. And pretty much anything.

To be honest you'd look good in a potato sack. Not that I'd recommend it. Real bad chaffing issues.

I've been assured that burlap is not an appropriate choice of apparel for a first date.

[ Nobody explicitly had to tell him that, he's teasing. This is what passes for his sense of humour. ]

That's definitely more third-date material. [Wade agrees, playing along with a sage nod.]

[ Fraser smiles and lapses into a fairly comfortable silence, enjoying the cold bite in the air and the warmth of Wade pressed against his side. This all feels easier and more natural than he had expected. ]

[Wade being quiet is no small feat! But he somehow manages it all the way to the restaurant. Once they get there, he can smell the food drifting from the vents even before they reach the door.] Damn. That smells amazing! And spicy! The best kind is the type that is spicy coming in and out.

[You know what probably isn't first date material, even more than burlap, Wade? Poop jokes.

Look, he's not very good at this.]

Good thing you weren't cast as the princess, Mister Toilet Humour.

[ Luckily they came early enough that there are still tables. ]

Hey, maybe Princess Wanda missed that in her etiquette lesson? You don't know! [Wade laughs as they find their way to a table. He reaches for his menu and immediately starts scanning.] I'm definitely getting a margarita.

... I've never had a margarita.

[ And he doesn't drink. He's considering it tonight, though. ]

Never? [Wade is shocked by this news.] Well, you should! With the salt rim!

You know... it's only in this Duplicity that I can actually get drunk. Normally, my body heals it too quickly. But a lot of these places have special drinks just for people like me.

Well... no. I don't actually drink. I suppose I've simply never felt the need. But there's certainly no need to let that stop you.

[ Fraser tilts his head, curious. ]

What makes the salt rim essential?

At all? [Wade scoffs at the idea, shaking his head at him.] Is there anything you do that's even a little bit naughty?

[Flipping through the menu.] It's just the perfect sweet, sour, salty mix. It just works. None of that sugar rim shit. You gotta commit!

... not as a matter of habit, I don't think. Although that's dependent on the culture in which I'm normally immersed, you understand.

[ Fraser is likewise flipping through the menu. ]

Right. Especially in this culture. [Have a little hairless suggestive brow waggle over Wade's menu. His own submissive tattoo is also an ever-present reminder of the values and culture of this place. For the most part, Wade doesn't really care or at least makes a good front about not caring about it. That's how he handles most everything that can be remotely considered problematic or traumatic.]

Oooh, enchiladas!

Is that what you're having...?

[ Their server chooses this moment to helpfully appear, and Fraser glances between him, Wade, and the menu a few times, like, yes? are we ready? are we decided? ]

Yes! [Wade perks up and looks up to the server.] Enchiladas. And four street tacos as spicy as you can make 'em, and nachos! Then the margarita of course!

[Normally Wade would order even more than that. He's actually trying to control himself with that order, although it may be hard to tell.]

[ There are things Fraser will be judgmental about, but food just isn't one of them. He nods to the server. ]

Could you make that a double order of nachos? And I'll have, lets see, the tamales, and... I'll have a margarita as well.

[ For all that he's trying to play it cool, he says that last almost defiantly. ]

Fuck, yeah! [Wade grins, slapping the table.] That's the spirit, Fraser! Keep this up and you might even unbutton a third button on that shirt!

Let's not get carried away, here.

[ This is clearly a joke, and not even a deadpan one. He actually allows his amusement to show on his face. ]

Of course. How silly of me. I'm such a silly goose! [He tsks himself, pleased to see he's made Benton smile.] I don't know what I was thinking suggesting so absurd an idea.

[He shifts back and gets comfortable in the booth.] I seem to recall something about dancing after this? Hope you're prepared, I can tango like nobody's business.

[ He perks up further at the mention of dancing. ]

You tango? You're going to have to teach me. Ray started to, but we hadn't gotten very far.

Since it benefits the plot, yes! Of course, I tango! [Wade grins back, pleased that he'd excited about this idea.]

The plot...?

[ What plot!! ]

Uhh... gotcha? [He smiles tentatively and with raised eyebrows. Then reaches a hand out to touch a finger to Benton's nose.] Boop.

This is totally real. Not like that princess/knight thing at all.

[Firm nod. Very serious.]

[...do you think he bought it?]

... honestly, I have no intention of getting too wound up about the nature of Duplicity and its place in reality. It's an interesting question, but I'm just not equipped to explore it in any depth. I shall just have to stick to cogito ergo sum and enjoy the dance lesson.

[ And, since Wade put his hand out, Fraser is going to catch at his fingers, so they can hold hands across the table. ]

Yeah, you do that cog er sum thing. [He agrees.] You won't regret it. I'm a very good dancer.

[He's a really good fighter and both required similar skills. Also, he'd always been a showman. Not the GREATEST Showman, technically. Fucking Jackman. But a pretty dang good one! Wolverine thinking he's so-- Wade's pulled from his errant thoughts when Benton takes his hand to hold, and they quiet down for a moment, leaving him fully present and in that moment.]

Thank you for this.

[a beat later.]

And for putting up with me.

Well, it's not really "putting up with" you when I'm thoroughly enjoying your company, now, is it?

[ He squeezes Wade's fingers. ]

Oh. [That shuts him up for a second. Now he just hopes he doesn't do something in the future to jeopardize that. It's a little terrifying.

Still, he does squeeze those fingers back.] I suppose it's not.

There you are, then.

[ After a moment of hesitation, he lifts Wade's hand to his lips and lightly kisses his fingertips. ]

[Wade watches, fascinated at Benton's mouth pressed against his fingers. He gulps a little bit because it doesn't take much to get him going so he's already growing aroused. He shifts awkwardly in his spot trying to adjust himself as discreetly as he can.]

You're doing pretty well at this dating thing so far.

[ That startles a surprised laugh out of him. ]

Really...?

[ There's a little-kid shyness about the question, like he wants to believe it and can't, quite. ]

I think so! I don't have a lot of first dates to go by... but you've got my seal of approval and we've barely even started yet!

[Wade sees that look on Benton's face. He leans right over the table suddenly to give him a peck on the lips] You're even purer than Colossus, back home. Didn't think that was possible.

[ The kiss makes him blush, but he looks very pleased anyway. ]

Who's Colossus?

[ He's genuinely curious. ]

He's an X-man. This superhero team back home. Pretty much the only one who ever gave me a chance. NTW and Yukio started talking to me too, but he was the first to give a shit. He's a Russian mutant, super tall, metal. Pretty decent CGI. Great ass. I got him to curse once!

He sounds like a good friend. Sorry, by "metal," do you mean that he's actually made of metal, or is this "lingo" type terminology for which I don't understand the connotations?

[ He does actual air quotes with his fingers when he says "lingo". ]

As in metal. Every part of him. All the way down to the dick. Not that I've seen it. Have felt it though... [He looks off wistful for a moment. He'll be back in a second.]

Piotr can look normal too, he just never does around me. Maybe because he knows I like it. [That's what Wade is telling himself, anyway.]

Interesting. I take it Colossus is actually his call sign...?

[ It's so easy for a statement like, "Interesting," to sound condescending, but it doesn't from Fraser. Maybe because he actually sounds interested, and not in a skeevy way. ]

Call sign. Mutant name. Superhero name. Same thing. But yes. And he lives up to it. He's a very large man. And strong.

[And now Wade is starting to miss him. And the rest of his F-word.]

I wish I could meet him.

... I mean, not in the sense that I wish he would be kidnapped to Duplicity, of course. You know.

I know. [As much as he misses people from back home, he doesn't actually want them here. Although he would be relieved in a way, if they were... selfishly.]

I'm sure you two would get along. I'd say-- like a house on fire, but I'm sure you're both sticklers for fire safety so that'd never happen.

[ Although Fraser doesn't laugh, he ducks his head and smiles in a way that is almost as good. ]

You may be right about that. Although I did have an apartment burn down, once. But that was the fault of a performance arsonist, and I was out of town at the time, so really, I hardly think I can be held responsible.

My apartment blew up once. Not a performance arsonist. Well, okay that's a lie. It was definitely a performance but... uh-- [Now it's Wade's turn to be awkward, clearing his throat.] it was me?

You blew up your own apartment as a performance?

[ His eyebrows go up. ]

Uh. [He looks off, trying to figure out what to say and falling short of anything that didn't come off crazy or sad.]

Well, it wasn't just a performance. I was inside the building at the time... I... it was just after my fiancée... after she... [Well, he remembers Wade's D/s finder surely.]

Ah.

[ Yeah, Fraser gets all the implications there. Perhaps unsurprisingly, he doesn't look shocked or judgmental. Serious, but then he almost always looks serious. ]

But you survived it.

I did. I tried a lot of things. Nothing stuck. I healed it all.

[Its said matter of fact, but there is a slight crack in his voice.]

Then I found a family. People to look after. And to look after me.

... Colossus, NTW, Yukio...?

Them, yes. And Cable. Domino. And this kid named Russell.

I'm glad you found them.

[ The words are banal, but the way Fraser looks at Wade when he says them gives them a different kind of weight. ]

Me too. [He manages, smiling back softly. Wade misses them but knows he'll see them again. Provided they don't get cut from the sequel...]

[ At this point, their drinks arrive, and the look Fraser gives his margarita can only be described as dubious and somewhat intimidated. He thanks the server before blinking at it some more. ]

Gosh.

[Wade meanwhile looks positively giddy as his margarita is placed in front of him, rocking on his seat as he slides it closer.] Hell, yeah. Don't forget to get some of the salt off the rim when you sip!

[He lifts the large glass up and takes a sip of the frozen concoction. Pulling back as he swallows, shaking his head and blinking wildly.] Ack! Brain Freeze! Worth it!

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

[ After all, he's having a good time without any alcohol, and it's hardly going to improve is coordination for dancing. ]

Oh. [He looks a little bummed that Benton might not drink his.]

I can drink both of them?

[ Fraser gets a stubborn look on his face and snags his glass by the stem, pulling it closer to himself. ]

I can slay my own allegories, thank you.

[ He touches the tip of his tongue to the salt rim, shrugs, and takes a sip. ]

Say, that's really quite refreshing.

[Wade claps when he sips, beaming.] See! I knew you'd like it!

[And hopefully he doesn't get too drunk. But if he never drinks it might be a lost cause.]

I won't be making it a habit, but it's nice to try new things on occasion.

[ And this certainly feels like an occasion. ]

Yeah, it is! Can't be a stick in the mud all the time. Maybe I'll even get you to swear!

[He grins from over his margarita, drinking it quite fast.]

I've been known to swear. From time to time.

[ Their nachos arrive and Fraser shoves a handful into his face. Neatly, somehow. It seems like it should be impossible, and yet. ]

[And Wade takes some of his own nachos and promptly dumps cheese down the front of his suit.]

Dangit.

Ah— here.

[ He passes Wade a wad of napkins on autopilot. He's already reaching for them before the cheese even lands. Once a princess, always a princess. ]

Thank you. Don't want to be ruining this suit! [He beams, wiping off the mess and going back to eating and sipping his margarita.

It's relatively quiet after that, Wade focused on eating and devouring everything on his plate. It's all so good. He even feels a little buzz from the margarita since they'd given him the kind that could actually circumvent his healing.

It's nice. And he's smiling to himself as he eats.]

[ Since Fraser is sipping his drink slowly, with food, and is absolutely not going to order a second one, he's only getting slightly buzzed himself despite his lack of experience. He'd probably get in his head about it if he weren't enjoying himself so much, otherwise, but he is. The food is amazing, and food is one thing he'll allow himself hedonistic enjoyment of, when he's in a good mood. Although he doesn't so much as get greasy around the mouth, he's not prim about eating—he makes happy, appreciative noises and licks his fingers and closes his eyes with pleasure, not even thinking about how it looks. ]

[Wade is eating his food like a man who's been starved to death getting his first proper meal in months, but when he starts hearing the sounds across the table, licking, and low moaning, he stops mid-bite of his enchilada to watch, eyes intent on Benton's tongue and mouth cleaning his fingers.

God damn. He lets out a soft whimper of his own and quickly tries to disguise it by shoving enchilada in his mouth.]

[ Eventually, Fraser pushes back his empty plate with a contented sigh. ]

They really are excellent cooks. We'll have to do this again.

[ He polishes off the last small, melted swallow of margarita, licking another flake of salt off the rim and glancing at Wade to make sure he did it right. ]

Yeah? [Wade beams at the idea.] Yes! We definitely should!

[He's long since finished the last of his own margarita but watches Fraser finish his and gives him two thumbs up when he licks off the salt. Good job! He's very proud of you!]

Ready for some dancing?

Absolutely.

[ He'll just settle the bill first, and then off they go! ]

I was thinking we could go to Subversion...?

Okay! I've never been. Is it... subversive? [He's got a stupid smirk on his face to go along with his stupid joke.]

In the sense that it's comparatively normal by my standards, yes.

[ So, you know, subversive for Duplicity. ]

They have live music, too.

Sold. [He's not too sure about the comparatively normal part. But if Benton likes it, he's in. And once the bill is paid and they are out the door, Wade is back on Fraser's arm and glued to his hip. ] Hope you don't mind if I get a little handsy while we dance?

[He probably won't be able to help himself.]

I— ah.

[ Welp, he's blushing again, but he doesn't pull away. He thinks about it for a minute, then shakes his head. He doesn't mind. ]

Score. [He makes a little woot noise. And as they are walking to Subversion, he does sneak an early squeeze of Benton's backside. What? His hands have a mind of their own! He simply can not be held responsible.]

[ Even though he's expecting it, it still makes him jump. ]

We're not dancing yet!

I couldn't help it! It's like my hands are possessed by horny ghosts! [He giggles as they make their way inside.]

I don't mean to criticize, Wade, but I've had quite enough trouble with ghostly possessed hands in Duplicity already.

[ He says it archly, but he's still leaning up against Wade as they head in, enjoying the closeness despite his complaining. ]

This place really has everything, huh? [Possessed hands, really?!]

Aside from respect for personal dignity and a reliable exit, yes. [ More like phantom hands, but, eh, six of one, half a dozen of the other. ]

Yes, that goes without saying. [But Wade is going to push aside those depressing thoughts and shove them in the part of his brain where he puts all of the bad thoughts where they lie in wait to bust free at random moments.

Because tonight is for dancing!

He grabs Benton's hand once they are inside and starts to immediately drag him to the dance floor.]

[ Fraser lets himself be pulled along. As long as they're dancing to something with official steps, he's actually great at this. He can waltz like nobody's business, and he picks up the tango no problem, happy to lead or follow as long as he doesn't have to switch repeatedly. As soon as they're doing anything remotely freestyle, though, he is stuck either awkwardly swaying or doing ridiculous disco moves. Improvising on the dance floor is not his strong suit. ]

[It's lucky for the both of them then that it's tango music playing first. It's like fate! What a crazy random happenstance! Wade will lead to start, but eventually switches to let Benton take over, if only so he could be dipped back almost to the point of his head touching the floor. It pays to be flexible!

But it's not tango for long and eventually Wade will get to bare witness to Fraser's ridiculous disco moves. Which Wade will happily match with a lot more confident flare as he unbuttons his suit jacket and spins around Benton.]

You're a good dancer.

[ He's not surprised, but he is delighted. ]

So are you! [He looks at Benton's current awkward shimmy now that they're free-styling.] Mostly.

[Wade spins and starts doing the moon walk. Sure it doesn't entirely match the current song, but he's getting into it.]

I know I'm not...

[ This is fascinating, and Fraser watches carefully so he can tentatively imitate the sequence of movement. ]

When we were tangoing you were!

[Wade moonwalks more when he sees Fraser watching. Also going slower to help him get the hang of it. Grinning as he watches him try.] You're getting it!

What's this move called?

[ Fraser, please. He is getting it, though. ]

[Wade gives him a skeptical look.] It's the moon walk! Michael Jackson's signature move!

[Honestly! Wade goes back to moon walking, leaving them sliding around the floor around one another until the song changes.]

Oh.

[ He knows who Michael Jackson is. ]

Shouldn't something called the moon walk involve more... bounding?

Stop looking for logic in everything. Somethings just are meant to make sense!

[The song switches up to something slower and Wade pulls him close again to dance. It is getting late, but Wade doesn't care.]

Duly noted.

[ Fraser wraps his arms around Wade's neck, feeling very bold just by doing that. ]

[So bold! Wade is impressed. And because they are dancing he Wade takes the opportunity to be his brand of bold again, hands falling down to Fraser's backside.] This has been really fun.

[ This time he doesn't mind. The context is expected, and he gave permission. He actually presses his hips closer to Wade's in response. ]

It has, hasn't it...? We should do this again.

[Wade is smiling impossibly wider as Benton presses closer, and he leans forward to rest his head on his shoulder.]

We absolutely should! A second date, it is!

Agreed.

[ He turns his head to very softly kiss Wade's jaw. ]

so, apparently i'm hosting an impact play demonstration for multiple people i've never met some time next week. do you wanna attend?

Is this a request for event security?

Edited 2022-03-10 00:33 (UTC)

no.

maybe.

honestly, i just thought you'd find it educational and just a little bit of fun. but now i'm actually thinking logistics.

Well, far be it from me to refuse an invitation to an educational evening. :P

you don't HAVE to, but if I'm gonna be hitting strangers to an audience of other strangers i think i'd like you there in case anyone freaks out ♥

I'll be there.

thanks boo

You're most welcome. Who are these strangers, anyhow?

People in this network post here.

Oh! I actually consider the Original Poster to be a friend.

You do? That's reassuring. How'd you know him?

I found him stranded during the flood, and we got to talking.

Is he a platonic friend or a sexy one?

Platonic, aside from unintentional contact during events.

[ But then he sends another private message under the encryption David set up for him ages ago. ]

Thus far, anyway. We've discussed the possibility of discreet liaisons.

Edited 2022-03-10 01:45 (UTC)

[ Andy didn't know Ben could do that. ]

Cool. We can talk about it when you're home.

Alright.

[ He'll be home just after dark, since all his commissions are outdoors today, and nothing is urgent enough to work past sunset. ]

[ Andy's cooking because they have a very nice kitchen now and it's harder to get delivery all the way down here. ]

Whatever you're making, it smells incredible.

[ Still in the middle of taking his boots off, Fraser calls out as a means of announcing his arrival. ]

Tourtière!

[ He has no idea if it'll be tasty or not, but it smelling good is a great sign. ]

And split pea soup. I wanted something to fall back on if I fucked up.

Andy, are you attempting to pander to my Canadian sensibilities...?

[ Rather than offended, he sounds quite touched... if also a bit amused. ]

Well, we are in Canada.

Ah. Yes. Of course.

[ Andy's wearing some rodiculous apron because #aesthetic is important to him. It is stamped with maple leaves.

As soon as Ben is in sight, he stops what he's doing to go kiss him. ]

Welcome home.

Mmmh.

[ He sweeps Andy into his arms and kisses him thoroughly. There's an ease to his movements that just wasn't there, before they moved. ]

[ Andy was really hoping the move would be good for Ben, and he's very glad he was right.

He figures having named the place The Canadian Consulate doesn't hurt either. ]

I can't believe I'm a househusband now.

You say that as if you don't have four jobs.

Piercing and modeling barely count!

I don't know what you mean.

Two of my jobs are more capitalized hobbies, they don't count.

Just because you enjoy your work doesn't mean you have to discount it.

[ He's going over to try and sneak a spoonful of soup. ]

[ The soup is very good, Andy's great at following a recipe. There's room for improvement but it's only his first attempt. ]

I'm not even charging Nick to teach him. We're bartering, he gets me spells, I teach him piercing.

Andy, this is really good soup.

It's supposed to be five minutes more, you thief.

[ He's not actually upset, but he does have a timer. He's being very precise about the whole thing. ]

Sorry.

[ He's not sorry in the least, but he comes over and puts his arms around Andy again. ]

I'll wait.

I'm so glad we moved.

[ It might be an illusion of privacy, but it's nice to be out here, it feels safer. ]

It really makes a difference, doesn't it?

I feel a lot less like a prisoner.

... we're not. Not really.

[ He knows Andy knows that, but he feels he has to say it. ]

Yeah, but it's... you know, nice. Less big brother watching.

Yes, I quite agree.

And lack of easy take-out options means I do this.

[ He gestures at the kitchen. ]

It's certainly a higher standard of cooking than what I grew up with, I can tell you that.

... I don't know if you're praising me or low-key dunking on your grandparents.

If I correctly infer the meaning of "dunking" in this context, then, both.

I'm happy to raise your standards.

[ Andy gives him a brief kiss. ]

Soup should be ready.

I'll set the table, shall I?

[ He's already grabbing cutlery and stuff. ]

Yeah, I'm starving.

[ He's following Ben to the table with two bowls of soup. ]

It looks like you got a lot of unpacking finished.

Yeah, I'm eager to feel settled in.

... we should have a housewarming party.

Can we have a welcome to Canada banner?

I don't see why not.

How big do you want it to be?

On this matter I think I will defer to your judgment.

I think if we do people we know and guests it might get big.

[ Which isn't something he'd mind but maybe Ben would prefer something more like a dinner party. ]

I wanna invite Grace and whoever she wants to have over. We could go from there.

I'd like to invite... hm. Qi'ra, Wade, Faith, Rhys, Dick, Huaisang, and whoever they'd like to bring along.

I'd have to think about it. Grace for sure, and Daniel, and whoever they want to bring. Sam, maybe, and Alina, but I don't want Alina's sub anywhere near us.

Ah, yes, the infamous Mister Ling. Let's keep him out of this.

I'll check in, see how she feels about it.

What if we have a little buffet, and make it "open house" style, but roughly by invitation?

That'd work, I'll just ask people to RSVP to figure out how much food to make.

... we don't have to it if you don't want to.

Let's settle in first?

Yes, of course. I would much prefer it that way.

All right. Let's see where we're at in a week or two? And enjoy this very Canadian recipe I took ages finding in the library.

It really is delicious.

[ He's gonna have seconds. ]

You still gotta try the other thing.

[ He pronounced it mostly correctly the first time, he's not gonna risk it a second time. ]

Is it ready? Can I get you a piece?

Yeah, it should be.

Fantastic.

[ He'll serve them both and bring them each back a plate of tourtiere, then. ]

Thank you dear.

[ It is a very promising first attempt. It's filled with salmon instead of pork because Andy knows Ben likes salmon. ]

This is great. You changed the recipe for me...?

The info I got said ingredients could vary depending on availability, and I figured salmon would work. You like it?

It's very good.

I take constructive criticism, I wanna get better at it.

I think a less flaky meat would suit it better overall, but I'm biased, because as you clearly know, I am quite fond of salmon.

I can try pork next time.

That sounds good. For comparison's sake, if nothing else.

Yeah, it'll be fun. I like cooking, it's soothing.

If you remember any of your mother's recipes, I'd be very interested to try them.

I know a bunch of them, she taught me something every time I visited after high school.

Do you have a favourite?

Chicken noodle soup. I'm easy.

Will you make it sometime?

I'll make it next time I cook.

We can take turns.

You'll make me Canadian food?

The kind of food I grew up on either isn't available here or isn't worth eating, but I'll make you food that I like.

I'll eat anything you make.

I will do my level best not to make you regret that assertion.

[ Andy leans over the table to kiss him. ]

You'd have to work really hard to make me regret anything involving you.

You don't think I could get there by mistake?

Not really, no.

I appreciate the vote of confidence.

[ He finishes off his last bit of tourtiere with an almost obscenely appreciative noise, then gets up to begin cleaning the kitchen. After a moment of quiet tidying, he clears his throat, changing the subject. ]

Ah... I believe we were going to discuss the topic of discreet liaisons.

[ Andy finishes his own meal and then helps clear the table. ]

We were, yeah. Is it Faith?

[ This was not the direction he'd expected the conversation to go at this point, since they'd been talking Huaisang over text before he got home, and it immediately flusters him. ]

No, I meant— well, yes, actually, but that's not— I mean— why do you ask?

Got one of those "LET'S TALK ABOUT..." texts from her, sounded like she was into you and I know it's mutual so it was the logical target.

That's not where you were going?

[ It was where he was going, ultimately, but he had intended to take a longer route to get there. ]

Well... it's just that we'd been talking about Huaisang. Over text. Earlier. Before I got home.

[ He keeps adding unnecessarily clarifications as if Andy wasn't part of that conversation out of sheer nerves. ]

And since that was the context in which discreet liaisons had, specifically, come up...

I mean, him too, but I kinda figure if you're gonna risk citations it'll be over someone you're really into, and Faith seems very much your type.

[ Andy's tone is warm and amused. ]

I have a type?

Your type is badass women.

You and Ray being exceptions, I take it...?

Ray's the love of your life, so he doesn't count. And I'm everybody's type.

[ His lips quirk. ]

What about Wade?

I think you're instinctively driven towards other Canadians.

Now, that, I think, is untrue. But I suppose I do have a bit of a type when it comes to women.

About Faith, as long as you're both aware of the risks, go for it. If you wanna have a date here, I'll even play waiter for you.

That's very sweet of you.

I would like to invite her over, if you're sure it's alright.

It's all right, just tell me if you want me here or if you'd rather I stay busy elsewhere. I could pick a late shift bar tending.

It would be nice if you were here. And, well— it would also give us plausible deniability, as we've discussed before.

What are you thinking? Dinner?

Um.

Dinner sounds like a good start, yes.

Do you want me to walk you through what a date looks like?

That won't be necessary, thank you.

You just seemed lowkey stressed. Can I help?

It just seems extremely ill-mannered and unfair to ask you to stay in the house while I attempt to woo someone else.

Would it help if I had someone over too?

Would it be more enjoyable for you, if you did?

I'm not sure, I've never been in this kind of situation.

It's entirely up to you.

Let me know once you've confirmed the day and time? I'll see about inviting someone, we can do a double-date.

Alright.

... should we talk about Huaisang?

Yeah, I'd love to. He's hot.

He is very beautiful, isn't he? And stylish. He's a clothing designer, you know.

Is he? You want him to dress you?

Well, I— well. He's offered to. I do think it would be an interesting experience.

It would be. Can I be there?

I should make sure it's alright with him, but I'd like it if you were.

Edited 2022-03-22 18:01 (UTC)

I think it'd be fun.

You may have more fun than I do. He's promised to make me show some more skin.

I don't know. I kinda like you covered up, then I get to unwrap you, like a present.

I'm glad you think so.

Still, he's a very good designer.

Yeah. It'll be fun to see what he picks out for you.

What about the, ah, the other thing?

Not trying to be mean, but what other thing?

The discreet liaisons.

Do you want it to just be you and him? Because I'm not against threesomes.

[ He goes bright red and bites his lip. ]

I'm also— not against. Ah. Hm.

We can see how he feels about it.

[ Andy kisses him :> ]

[ Fraser sighs into it a little shakily and pulls Andy close. ]

[ Andy pulls him closer, still kissing him. ]

[ After a moment, he breaks the kiss, leaning their foreheads together. ]

Something— happened. With Huaisang.

[ He pets Ben's hair. ]

You wanna tell me about it?

I think I ought to, if we're going to, ah, extend that invitation.

You wanna sit down for it?

[ He has no idea of what to expect here. ]

I don't think it will be particularly long in the telling.

[ Besides, if he goes back to washing dishes he doesn't have to look at Andy. Win/win. ]

All right, I'm all ears.

Well... remember the library promotion, with the immersive reading experience?

I remember.

I did tell you that I read all the books, didn't I?

You did, yeah.

As you can probably guess, I encountered Huaisang in one of them.

[ He's going over to load up the dishwasher. ]

I figured, yeah.

[ He's just gonna stare at Ben's back and give him time to actually say whatever it is he wants to say. ]

And, as I imagine you're aware, they all contained, ah, well... rather explicit scenarios.

Yes, dear. I know your character had sex with his character in the book.

Right. Yes. Well.

... as it happens, my character in the book was a scientist whose spaceship crashed on an alien planet, and Huaisang was cast in the role of another sapient species, who captured the scientist, for... questionable purposes.

[ Finally he has a better idea of where this is going. ]

Okay, so is the problem the non-consensual aspect of the sex, or that it likely involved weird tentacles?

More the former. It wasn't—I certainly don't blame him in the least. And, while it was a disturbing experience, I don't feel unduly upset by it. It's just that we haven't really discussed it.

Ben, I think this needs to be a longer conversation than you want it to be.

[ Ben is ladling soup into containers for storage. ]

I don't see why.

[ Andy takes his hand. ]

That can wait. Come on.

Andy...?

[ He puts down the ladle, at least, not resisting. ]

I know you don't think you're upset, but I'd like to hear what happened in the story.

[ Andy's taking him to the living room so they can sit down and actually look at each other. ]

It's a little embarrassing, Andy... and it doesn't seem fair to tell you all the details when I haven't asked him if he'd like to keep it private...

[ But that doesn't mean he has a problem holding Andy's hand and sitting on the couch with him. ]

I don't need to know what he did, just how you felt.

[ Andy wants to know if it was rape— he did experience one of those books and knows how real it felt. ]

Even though I wasn't myself, in many senses?

[ It wasn't really how he felt, it was how Third Science Officer Fraser felt. ]

Do the memories not feel yours?

[ Andy's do, but his experiences are probably not universal. ]

[ Do they...? He takes a moment to consider that, quietly. ]

It's an interesting question. I suppose they do, but... in the sense that I sometimes remember a vivid dream. I remember the experience, and that it made sense internally at the time, but looking back, it's easy to understand that it wasn't reality.

Oh, that's good.

[ It means emotional detachment will be easier. ]

... so, do you wanna hang out with Huasiang because you enjoyed the dream or because you didn't?

I want to spend time with him because I enjoy his company. And now that you're getting to know each other as well... I just think it would be nice. It has nothing to do with the book. It's just that I'm worried it might—colour things.

So you've talked since?

No, but we've spent a good deal of time together. I mean... before that. We'd discussed the possibility of— and the risks— I mean, not in any great detail, and we never, or rather, I never... committed. But.

Wait, so you're telling me you have a close friend you'd never told me about?

[ Even though he can't help sounding cranky, Andy's also visibly relieved. He was worried Ben had just met him, but if they're close then this whole thing is less of an issue. ]

I suppose so.

Sorry.

... I don't know that he considers me a close friend, honestly. But he's been very kind.

Are we bad at talking to each other about what's going on with us?

No, I don't think so. Are we? Do you think so...? We're talking right now...

[ He knows sometimes he's hurt Andy's feelings in the past by not disclosing things in a timely fashion, though, so now he's concerned. ]

I'm sorry if I— well. I know I'm not always as communicative as you'd prefer. But I honestly wasn't trying to keep anything from you, and particularly in the case of my friendship with Huaisang, there were circumstances... as you know, I did drown shortly after the first time I met, and then by the time I remembered—well, anything, it no longer seemed germane.

I'm sure I don't know about all your friends, either. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

No, no, I wasn't putting it on you. I haven't had a boyfriend before, so I don't know what's... healthy or expected or the average experience.

As you know, nor do I. But... I think we're doing alright.

I think maybe coerced sex is something that should've come up? I haven't had to deal with that yet.

[ Mostly because he kind of jumps into the drugged nonsense without thinking too hard about it, but still. ]

I didn't really consider it to be coerced. I mean... for my character, it was, but I chose to read the book of my own accord, knowing that sex would be a component of the experience.

Then why are you so... shaken?

Well, it was a very strange and vivid experience, Andy.

But was it good?

... in what sense?

Did you enjoy it? Like, I don't know, I keep thinking about angel dick. Though not as much as I think about your knives.

I enjoyed some of it, but I don't think that I would have if I hadn't been chemically affected. And it's not an experience I'd like to repeat.

So I shouldn't ask about alien genitalia?

[ Fraser just makes a face at him. ]

I can't help being curious about it. I only read the one we had together.

I should at least ask whether or not he's comfortable with you knowing the details.

I think the immersive effect is gone, but I could just read the book.

I returned it to the library.

And much like vampires are unable to enter places of worship, it is well known I am unable to enter places of literacy?

[ He's very amused. And also, now he knows for sure there's something in that book Ben absolutely does not want him reading. ]

[ Yeah he's just covering his face with his hands. ]

We couldn't even communicate during it, we didn't share the same vocal apparatus, let alone a language.

Okay, so this was a whole sci-fi xenophilia kinda thing.

I thought I had made that clear.

You did. I'm just trying to figure out what weird kinks you tried that upset you in a way prehensile cock didn't.

Really, Andy, is it such a mystery that I might find it somewhat disturbing to have found myself in a situation where a bizarre fantasy version of my friend was willing to capture me and engage in sexual acts against my will when we weren't even capable of communicating with each other?

[ Andy holds his hands up. ]

Hey, I'm not needling you to piss you off.

I know. I'm sorry.

I know I'm bad at reading you, so I'm worried this is bigger than it looks.

I think perhaps the problem is that I'm worried about the same thing, in the sense that I really don't know how Huaisang has taken the experience. To be honest, I've been a bit afraid to ask.

Ah. Well, you definitely should ask.

I should probably do that before we invite him for a threesome, but it's a bit stressful.

Really, that's all I was trying to say.

Okay.

[ Andy kisses him. He figures there's more to it, but he can drop it. ]

I'll finish putting the leftovers away.

...

[ Fraser pulls Andy into his lap. ]

You're a bit busy at the moment.

[ Oh. Well, okay, this is much better. He wraps his arms loosely around Ben's neck. ]

Am I?

Mhmm.

[ He kisses him. ]

You see, you're consoling me about my disturbing experience.

[ More kisses. ]

And fortifying me for the potentially awkward conversation ahead.

[ Yet more kisses. ]

It's really vitally important.

Oh, oh, yeah, you definitely have a point.

[ He had a comment somewhere about whiplash, and he could circle back about how bad he is at reading Ben some times.

But he'd much rather escalate, so he starts working Ben's shirt open while they're kissing. ]

How can I best fortify you, Ben?

... it's a little embarrassing.

Please, I wanna give you what you want.

[ For once, he has the words. He knows what he wants. But he can't bring himself to say it, so he just lies back and pulls Andy on top of him. ]

[ Andy kisses him and keeps working his shirt open. ]

I think we both want the same thing.

Mhmm...

[ What Fraser wants is to just let Andy look after him, so he's very cooperative but also leaving all the initiative in Andy's hands. ]

[ Andy is aware he has the reins, so to speak, and he's happy to take the lead, so once he has Ben's shirt open, he starts working on his trousers. ]

... it doesn't have to be sex.

[ Context, please, Fraser?? ]

Dear, would you just tell me what you want, please?

I want...

[ This is very difficult. He clears his throat and shuts his eyes before managing to mumble the words, cheeks burning. ]

I want to feel looked after. It can be sexual, but it doesn't have to be.

I want to look after you.

[ He's keeping his hands on Ben, but he pulls himself up a bit. ]

In bed, I think.

[ It's comfier and they can take their time there. ]

[ Fraser nods gratefully, peeking up at Andy with a shy smile. ]

[ Andy kisses Ben's hand, then his lips. ]

Come on, let's get you to bed.

[ Once Andy gets off of him, Fraser will follow him upstairs eagerly. ]

[ Andy leads him by the hand and when they make it to the bedroom, he pushes him on the bed, gently. ]

I love you.

And I, you.

[ Already, he's much more relaxed. He sits, slowly leaning back on his hands, watching Andy with an almost mesmerized look on his face. ]

[ Andy leans in, hands on Ben's hips so he can take his pants off. ]

[ He arches up to make that easy. ]

Thank you, Andy.

You don't have to thank me, I love this.

[ Once Ben's naked, Andy straddles him and kisses him sweetly. ]

[ That doesn't mean he can't express his gratitude, but he's too busy kissing back to say so. ]

[ There's no urgency in the kiss, Andy could do this forever. He wraps an arm around him, running his hand up his back. ]

[ This is just what Fraser wants. He threads a hand through Andy's hair and slowly lies back, eventually swinging his legs up onto the bed and pulling Andy properly on top of him. ]

[ Andy keeps touching him as they kiss, trailing down, if Ben gets hard, Andy will get him off. ]

[ Of course Fraser gets hard. He won't let Andy get out of kissing range, though. ]

Edited 2022-03-25 18:32 (UTC)

[ That's fine, Andy can use his hand. He's going slow enough it'll take a minute though. ]

[ The kiss gets more heated as Andy works Fraser with his hand. Fraser licks into his mouth eagerly, moaning, but he's not impatient. He's going to let Andy draw this out as long as possible. ]

[ Andy kisses him back, also very eager. His movements stay slow, though. ]

Mmmh...

[ Fraser stretches luxuriantly underneath him, rolling his hips up into Andy's hand in leisurely, easy movements, savouring the slow build. ]

I love you so much.

[ He's gonna keep going slowly. ]

[ Fraser kisses him again. ]

More...? Please? Just a little...?

Do you want my mouth?

[ Andy was thinking about it earlier. ]

Not as much as I want to feel your weight on me.

[ Fine, more kissing it is. ]

[ He wants to feel close more than he wants to come, so this is perfect. ]

[ Andy just wants Ben to feel good. He stops stroking him to focus on the kissing for a minute. ]

I love you.

[ He murmurs it against Andy's lips. ]

Mmh.

[ He settles more firmly on top of him. ]

[ What if Fraser just wraps both arms around him and clings? ]

[ Andy hugs him firmly. ]

I got you.

I know.

[ Now he's in his feelings so he kisses him again. ]

MEET QI'RA. YOU TWO SHOULD TALK ABOUT SHAVING!

Hello, Qi'ra. Our dubious overlords have declared that we "should talk about shaving."

I prefer a straight razor, myself. I'm not sure what to add.

Have you ever had someone shave you as part of an intimate act?

No, I can't say that I have.

Not necessarily sexual, but sensual. Someone sits in your lap and takes tender care of your face for you.

Oh, is that why shaving your assigned partner was one of the Camp Harmony activities? I really could not wrap my head around it. Thank you, you've enlightened me.

That would be why.

I do see the appeal, I think.

It comes with trust, too. Someone with a straight razor at your throat.

That was the appeal to which I was referring, yes.

I haven't thanked you for the improvements at the house or checked on you since business began. How have you been?

Very well, thank you. Urban Nesting has gotten off to a busier start than I dared hope. And did I tell you that Andy and I have moved into a place of our own?

I did not know this, no. Are congratulations in order?

Perhaps so. We're very pleased with it. I'd love to have you over, when you have the time.

I'd be honored. When is best for you?

Oh, well. Any time today, but I understand that's terribly short notice. We could certainly arrange a time next week if that's preferable.

Perhaps next week, then. I have plans for later this evening, but I would very much like to see your house. I'm sure it's beautiful.

Certainly. We can have you over for dinner next Tuesday, if that suits.
We chose something a little off the beaten track. It's nice for Dief... he has room to run around.

[ Honestly, Fraser also appreciates having room to run around. ]

But enough about me. How have you been?

Consider it a date.

I've been doing well. I've acquired the Dreamforge so if you have need of any kind of weaponry, please let me know.

I'll keep that in mind.
This is probably a foolish question, but does it literally forge the contents of dreams?

It does not. It's merely a forge for weapons.

Ah, well. Probably for the best. One never knows, in Duplicity.

[He's asking both dads:]

If we do a housewarming party thing
what's a gift you think andy sr would like?

Edited 2022-04-15 05:09 (UTC)

I'm sure he'd like anything you might think to get for him.

Bit of a weak answer but I get the sentiment
but like. there's gotta be soooomething unique
or cool
or needed

maybe?

It's a truthful answer.
But let me think.
I know he's interested in baking.
You could get him a cake decorating kit, with fancy icing tips and so forth.

Oooh that sounds kinda cool
Bonus being he might then bake for us????

He'll do that anyway, I'm quite sure.

I guesssssss
But extra baking is always dope

I need something cheesy too. He likes cheesy

I'm not sure if I can help you much there.
Perhaps a humorous yet sentimental card?

Do you know if he has any songs he can't stand

I know he enjoys country music, but, no, I'm afraid I can't think of anything he's said he dislikes.

I'm sure I can think of something good now
Baby Shark or a Hamster Dance remix...

thanks for the help though
I promise not to mention I got my great maniacal idea from you

Thank you. I think.

Two things:
1. What's for dinner?
2. Junior's having a friend over! His name is Ky, he's a werewolf, I told him we'd figure out something about full moons.

(i know that was way more than 2 things, i only realized as i was typing it)

I'm going to pick up pizza for dinner on my way home. Shall I bring enough for Ky? I expect Diefenbaker will be excited to meet another wolf.

yeah, get some mest lovers i guess?? junior's worried maybe ky can't eat things dogs can't eat but i think it's bc he has anxiety.

ky's a dom so we can't keep him but i figure for full moon we can set up a perimeter in the forest and maybe trust dief to keep him within it??? he's not aggressive with junior or non-humans and if we get him some raw stake he won't be hungry. do you think that'd work? he wanted to get locked up but i hate the idea.

I think we can certainly do better than a cage. If he's truly concerned, we can set up an area in the woods with an electric fence, so he has at least some space to roam around. But I think Diefenbaker will be happy to supervise.

I am madly in love with you.

Thank you, Andy. Although I confess I'm a little bewildered about what might have brought it to mind.

I'm just happy I got you.

Shall I pick up supplies to build an electrified fence, or would you like to run it by Ky first?

Pick them up and maybe I can wrangle them into helping set it up.

Yes, it will be good for them.

It'll be fun.

That, too.

get home soon, i want kisses

I won't be long.

💖

Thank you kindly for the invitation. We'll be sure to attend.

Hey, got an invite to Huaisang's party. Figured you got one too.

I did, yes. I said we'd be pleased to go.

We'll have to buy a present

We could make something.

You do know it's gonna be a sex party, right?

I'm aware, yes. Although I don't know that I'll participate in that aspect. I'm sure we can find a couple who would be willing to keep things less intimate at least on one side.

I'm kinda crank about that. Not the sex, but this whole mandatory switching.

You don't think it might be fun?

I'm sure it will be, I just don't like being told I have to do things unless I've negotiated it first.

I understand. We could always choose not to attend.

nah, it's fine. I like Huaisang, it'll be fun.

Alright. Thank you, Andy.

I wouldn't say I'm cranky at the prospect, but I am a little nervous. Still, he's our friend and it's his birthday. I'd like to go.

We'll go, but I might get jealous.

[ Voice call incoming. ]

[ He picks up. ]

Yes, my love?

You don't need to be jealous. You're... well. You're simply my favourite, Andy.

You're making me blush.

Hm. Perhaps we should switch to video.

You're giving me kinky ideas.

I am?

You weren't into the camming idea when I first brought it up, though.

Both our circumstances and our relationship were rather different when you first brought it up.

Are you saying you want me to cam for you?

I—well. Not just now, but—

I'd love to.

I wouldn't object. Sometime.

Before Huaisang's party?

... would you prefer that?

I'm not patient enough to wait.

Ah. We'd better not put it off, then.

I think you'd need to be home.

... where would you be?

Not sure. At work, maybe?

At the office...?

[ He sounds a bit dubious. ]

At the bar, maybe? Risk of discovery can make things more exciting.

Isn't that a bit, well... what if you're discovered by someone who finds the spectacle disturbing?

I'll be careful.

As you wish, then.

Do you wanna know ahead of time or do I get to surprise you with it?

If you're confident that I'm at home and young Andy isn't, I'm open to being surprised.

You got it.

Didn't we get a bit off the topic?

Me camming for you felt like a very natural transition from me being jealous.

Ah. My mistake.

What did you wanna talk about?

... what sort of gift should we bring?

I have no idea. I know he likes fine things— but he has plenty of those. You got any ideas?

Well, I do think it would be nice to make something.

You could draw a portrait. I think he'd like that.

Now there's an idea.

I can get you supplies from the studio.

It won't be an imposition? I don't want to put Alina out in any way.

She won't mind. Do you wanna work there or do I bring stuff home?

We have such a beautiful home, it would be a shame not to use it.

Send me a list of the stuff you need, I'll get it for you.

You're sure you don't mind?

Not at all. Why would I?

I just want to be sure.

I don't mind at all. I'll pay for it, it's cool.

As your contribution?

I hadn't thought of it like that, but yeah.

I think that'll be nice.

Text me the list and I'll have it home by the time you're back.

Thank you, Andy. I'll see you later, then...?

Yeah. Where do you wanna paint?

In the sun room, I think.

You got it.

Bye for now, then.

[ He'll text that list over as soon as they hang up. ]

[ Andy buys everything from the list, and then gets a cab home because he doesn't want to risk carrying an easel on the train. ]

[ It takes a bit longer for Fraser to get home, and he's in his work clothes, as close to grubby as he ever actually gets. ]

I'm home. I brought falafel.

[ Andy's wearing lounge clothes, he runs to the door to greet him. ]

I got you all set up.

Thank you kindly, Andy. Just give me a moment to get washed up.

Yeah, take your time.

[ As usual, he's actually extremely efficient, emerging neat and clean in his Henley and stocking feet. ]

Hungry...?

Yeah, we can eat and then I'll show you to your studio.

Perfect.

Would it be okay if I watched while you paint?

If you'd like. It might not be very interesting.

I think it'd be educational and a little bit of fun.

I suppose it might be.

I also think you're hot.

Eat your falafel.

[ He's blushing. ]

Yes, sir.

[ He winks ;D ]

[ Although he's sort of mutter-grumbling to himself about Andy being incorrigible, it's clear he's happy because he devours his food. ]

[ Andy eats quickly too, mostly because he's eager to go to the sun room and watch Ben paint. ]

[ The nice thing about this meal is there are no dishes whatsoever, so they can head upstairs in no time. ]

How was your day, anyway?

It was nice. I'm teaching a guy how to do flair bar-tending, which is bold of me as I'm not even that good.

[ Andy's set stuff up the way he remembers Bob Ross was set up on TV because he has no other frame of reference. ]

Flair bar-tending?

[ His eyebrows go up in a way that makes it clear that he's asking for a definition. But he seems satisfied with the set-up. It's not quite like Bob Ross's, because Fraser asked for watercolours and ink pens and bristol board, rather than oils or acrylics and canvas, but close enough. ]

You know, bar-tending but flashy. There's juggling involved, you've probably seen me practice.

[ He broke more than one bottle when he first picked it back up, but he's been pretty good lately. ]

Oh, that. You're pretty good at it these days. I'm sure you'll make a fine teacher.

[ He's picking out a pencil to start sketching. ]

Teaching is fun.

[ He's more interesting on watching Ben. He's been curious about the process. ]

You've been finding a lot of opportunities for it.

[ He's starting out by sketching a figure in a series of smooth curving lines. ]

Learning is fun too.

[ Ben's very skilled and it's a huge turn-on. ]

Well, yes, of course.

[ He's drawing Huaisang from memory in swift, light pencil strokes. ]

You're so good at this.

I've been trying to do it a bit more regularly.

Do you memorize every face you see?

... many of them.

If I'm distracting you, just tell me. I don't have to be here.

[ He's really into it, though. He hasn't looked away from the canvas. ]

[ Neither has Fraser, but he glances over at that. ]

Oh—no, not at all. I appreciate your company.

People at the studio sometimes get self-conscious about having an audience.

[ Not that Andy's done a lot of work over there recently. He got the supplies but no one was there to charge him. ]

I think it would depend on the audience.

Does that mean I'm good audience?

Well, you are.

This is making me wanna get like, body safe finger paint.

... you want me to— ah...

[ "Paint your skin with my bare hands," feels too lewd to say out loud. ]

It can be a mutual thing.

[ Only the sound of his own pencil tearing through the heavy weight of paper under it, then snapping, breaks Fraser out of the hungry stare state he falls into at the thought. ]

—damn.

[ His ears are bright red as he hustles to get a fresh sheet. ]

[ Andy's grin is all mischief. ]

Sorry, sorry, I can go get more supplies and let you work.

You don't have to go.

But Ben, if I go get paint now, we can have fun with it when I get back.

[ He ducks his head, smiling but not offering a further opinion. ]

[ Andy steps closer and kisses his cheek. ]

I won't take long.

[ His face turns towards the kiss like a flower to the sun. ]

Hurry back.

I will, I promise.

[ He's married to the cutest man alive. He's going all the way to the Down for supplies, he doesn't have to, there's stores in the Up that will sell him what he needs. But the studio is struggling and he's trying to help, plus it'll give Ben time to work on the portrait without distractions. ]

[ In that, he succeeds—by the time he returns, Fraser has finished his sketch and moved on to painting, adding colour to a vividly realistic portrait of Huaisang in the act of snapping a fan open to hide a mischievous smile. ]

[ Andy doesn't want Junior knowing what they're up to, so he takes the supplies to their bedroom before joining Ben in the sun room. ]

Hi honey, I'm home.

Hi. Come look at this, would you? I'm not sure I have his nose quite right.

[ He's absorbed in the work again, barely glancing at Andy. ]

[ He steps closer. ]

It looks incredible.

I still want to touch it up with ink when it's dry...

How long will it take to dry?

Oh, hours. It's really probably best if I finish it tomorrow.

Does that mean I can take you to bed?

By all means.

[ He starts hastily cleaning his brushes. ]

I got a plastic sheet to minimize the mess.

Aha, following the Five P's, as it were.

Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance.

[ Andy kisses him and takes his hand. ]

Come on.

You know, you might be spending too much time with me.

[ He teases as he follows eagerly. ]

It's not enough.

[ He already covered the bed with the plastic sheet and has laid out a number of body safe finger paint jars. He's ready for Fun. ]

Andy...

[ He's a little overwhelmed. ]

Hey, if you're not game right now, it'll take me five minutes to put everything away.

No, no. I'm game. I'm game.

[ Oh good. Andy did not want to put it off.

He steps in front of Ben and kisses him. ]

I'm gonna take your shirt off.

[ Fraser kisses back softly and then stands still to let that happen. He won't be passive for long, but he needs Andy to open the dance. ]

[ Andy's happy to get it started. He takes Ben's shirt off, then guides to the bed. ]

[ Once they reach it, Fraser pushes Andy down and climbs on top of him to practically tear his shirt off in turn. ]

... still missing scars?

A lot of the smaller ones never came back.

[ Which is fine, he still has the ones he meant to keep. ]

You don't seem bothered by it anymore.

I got back the ones that matter, and my knees don't hurt anymore so I'm better off now.

I'm glad.

[ Fraser got his ring and his memories back, but his tattoos are still gone, and he hasn't replaced them. ]

Did you get everything back?

[ He shakes his head, tapping the bare skin of his shoulder, where the maple leaf used to be. ]

I remember what I'd forgotten, though.

[ Andy reaches up to rub the spot with his thumb. ]

You want it back?

I'm still thinking about it.

[ He opens a tin of red paint and dabs his finger into it so he can draw a stylized but remarkably anatomically accurate heart on Andy's chest. ]

God, you're good at this.

[ Andy could probably draw a passable maple leaf, but that's it. ]

I'm really just experimenting.

I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner.

[ Fraser tilts his head, tracing arteries up Andy's neck and down his arms. ]

At a guess, because you were satisfied by my attempts at artistry with a knife.

[ Andy leans back, letting Ben work. ]

But look at how creative you get when you have a larger palette.

[ He blends the red with brown and shades the brown to green until he can make the circulatory system he's begun branch into curling, leafy vines. ]

This is a lot of fun.

It tickles a little.

[ He's very good at being still though. ]

[ Using the edge of his fingernail pressed down firmly, Fraser adds some fine-lined embellishments to the leaves. ]

What about that?

You should definitely keep it up.

[ It's so ridiculously easy for Ben to turn him on. He covers his face with a hand and laughs a little. ]

You're going to get distracted from painting me if I do, aren't you?

I'm already very distracted. I think I wanted to draw flowers?

[ After adding a final flourish to the leaf, Fraser flops over onto his back. ]

Be my guest.

Fine.

[ He's getting reds and purples and then straddling Ben to draw Chinese orchids on his chest. ]

You're not really put out, are you?

Not at all. I love this too.

[ He's putting a lot of effort into making the flowers look like flowers. ]

[ Fraser tries to peek down at it without moving anything below his neck, with limited success. ]

Let me finish. I'll get a mirror in a minute.

[ He gets green for the stems. ]

Right. Sorry.

The paint's edible. For the record.

[ Absentmindedly, he licks his fingers. ]

Hmm. It's a bit chalky.

I'm getting a mirror, and a picture. Stay here.

Yes, dear.

[ Andy climbs off and goes to fetch his device and a hand mirror, it only takes him a minute before he's back, straddling him again. ]

Stay still.

[ Ever obedient, Fraser holds his breath and slows his heart rate without changing his expression by a hair. ]

[ Andy takes a couple of pictures, then holds up the mirror so Ben can see the flowers. ]

Andy, that's lovely.

[ He's impressed. ]

I'll get better at it.

[ He's very flattered. And also he's kissing him. ]

[ Kissing is more important than talking. ]

[ Agreed. This is so much more important than anything else currently happening. ]

[ Fraser draws back so he can sweep bright red paint over Andy's lower lip with the pad of his thumb. ]

[ Andy's tongue darts out to lick Ben's thumb. ]

[ He inhales sharply, holding his hand still in case Andy wants to keep going. ]

[ After that reaction he definitely does, he takes Ben's wrist and guides his thumb into his mouth, sucking lightly. ]

[ The paint does taste a little chalky, but not in a bad way, just kind of like really cheap chocolate. Probably the way Fraser moans quietly and shivers more than make up for it, anyway. ]

Andy...

[ He's not stopping. He draws back so he can lap at Ben's palm, licking off all the paint there. ]

[ Fraser makes a low, desperate noise deep in his throat, fingers curling slightly as he fights the urge to flip Andy over and take him—he wants to, but he doesn't want this to stop, either, the hot, almost ticklish slide of Andy's tongue over his palm, the cutting intimacy of the moment. ]

[ Once he gets all the pain off he pushes Ben back against the bed and kisses him. ]

[ That's perfect. He lets himself be pushed back, but then surges up under Andy, wrapping his arms around his neck and kissing back hungrily. ]

[ He wanted to lick off the flowers too, but he's now thoroughly distracted. ]

[ Mindless and insistent, Fraser drags his nails down Andy's back. They're blunt, so he has to use force to make it sting. He arches his hips up so he can grind against Andy, enjoying the restrictive friction of rubbing up against his jeans. Not once does he stop kissing him, fierce and messy, biting at his lip, thrusting with his tongue. ]

[ Andy was not expecting this to escalate so much so fast, but he loves it. He moans without breaking the kiss, arms wrapped tightly around Ben. This is just Andy's favorite thing in the world, being here with someone he loves. ]

[ Once fingers go in mouths, that's it for Ben. Something in him goes feral, some deep part of him insists that this is life or death. That losing himself in Andy is salvation. He can't stop. ]

[ That's all excellent, Andy'd be taking mental notes if he weren't so utterly lost in this.

He does reach down to unbutton Ben's jeans though. He's aware enough to know he wants to get railed. ]

[ Ben kicks and wriggles to get out of them, coordinated even when frantic, yanking Andy's off as well when there's space. ]

God, please—

[ Andy kicks off his pants and underwear and then immediately wraps both legs around Ben's waist, pulling him closer. ]

Come on.

Ride me?

[ He's too caught up to be shy. It's barely a question, almost an order. ]

Yes, sir.

[ He rolls on top of Ben and reaches for the lube on the bedside table. ]

I didn't mean—

[ He wasn't being intentionally bossy. But he gets too distracted watching Andy to finish the sentence. ]

[ Instead of prepping himself he takes one of Ben's hands with his and pours lube over his fingers. ]

[ That gets a soft gasp out of Fraser, before he reaches between Andy's legs to tease at his entrance. ]

Come on.

[ He's not in as much of a hurry as Ben is, but still. He presses himself against his fingers, urging him on. ]

[ Just because Fraser is drowning in desire and has gone non-verbal doesn't necessarily mean he's in a hurry. He won't tease, but he's intent on prepping Andy thoroughly, stretching him with his fingers and wrapping his free hand around Andy's balls so he has leverage to resist if Andy tries to rush him. ]

[ That doesn't seem very fair, Andy doesn't have that kind of self-control when Ben's involved. He moans at the grip on his balls. ]

Fuck, come on.

[ Okay, alright, he lets go and slicks up his cock instead, gripping the base so Andy can sink down onto it more easily. ]

[ Andy does sink down on Ben's cock the second he's allowed to. He doesn't want any time either, taking it all in in one smooth movement and moaning when it brushes against his prostate. ]

[ That draws an echoing moan out of Ben, and he slides his hands up Andy's thighs to have something to hold onto. ]

[ He gives himself a minute to adjust. ]

... I meant to lick those flowers off your chest.

[ Ben gazes up at him with shining eyes, a look that says everything Andy is doing now and anything he might want to do in the coming moments will be perfect, just perfect. ]

[ Well, he can, in fact, bend down and lick the flowers off like he meant to, so he's just going to do that. ]

[ He moans again, his chest vibrating with it. ]

Andy, Andy...

[ Andy stops licking his chest for a moment to kiss him instead. But he gets right back on it shortly after, very intent on cleaning it all off. ]

[ Fraser closes his eyes and revels in the feel of it, Andy's tongue moving hot and wet over his skin, the subtle ways he moves against Fraser's cock as he shifts position. ]

[ He deserves some kind of award for being patient because it's always a struggle when it comes to Ben, as soon as the paint's all off he straightens up again to ride him in earnest, bracing himself on Ben's chest, deliberately tightening his muscles around Ben's cock. ]

[ When Andy starts to move, his eyes fly open. Instinctively, he moves with him, gasping when Andy clenches around him. ]

[ That's encouraging and Andy wants to make him gasp louder, so he slows down a little so he can clench down harder. ]

[ Ben groans and arches his hips up, then holds that position, burying himself as deep inside of Andy as he can. ]

Fuck, Ben!

[ Really unfair of Ben to make Andy come like this tbh. It's sudden and intense, and it leaves Andy shaking a little. ]

Oh. Oh.

[ Fraser doesn't come, but he gasps again, writhing a little as Andy pulses around him. ]

Oh, Andy...

[ He's trying to touch him everywhere, warm hands caressing up his back and over his shoulders, combing through his hair, gripping his thighs. They're slow and measured touches, though, grounding him and bringing him back to himself. ]

[ He's fine, this is very good. He bends down to kiss him. ]

Love you.

Mmmmh.

I love you, too.

Wanna fuck me?

[ Since Ben hasn't come yet and Andy really wants him to. ]

[ Fraser grins crookedly and flips them over in one smooth motion. ]

At almost all times.

You're so sexy. Do your worst.

...

[ That gives him pause. ]

May I do my best, instead?

[ That is very cute. ]

You may do whatever you want, dear.

Understood.

[ In that case, he pins Andy's hands beside his head and begins to fuck him steadily, not hard, but with long, deep thrusts, relentlessly. ]

[ It aches in a way Andy loves, so it's seconds before he's moaning helplessly. He wraps his legs around Ben's waist again and moves with him, but mostly just visibly enjoys it. ]

[ Fraser keeps the pace to something he knows he can keep under control for a long time, and even when he finally does come, he barely falters, until he's spent and panting. Then he almost collapses on top of Andy. ]

[ Andy kisses him and wraps himself around him. And after a minute of cuddling, he says very quietly. ]

The plastic sheet was a great idea, but the crinkling, Ben.

[ The mental keysmash as Ben bursts out laughing is practically audible. ]

[ YES. This is exactly what he wanted. ]

We gotta figure it out.

Perhaps a dedicated set of "art sheets" that we can stain with impunity?

We can get cheap ones from Cocksco.

Sounds like a plan.

You know, I had no idea this whole thing would be such a turn-on.

I did cheat a little.

[ He presses the edge of his thumbnail against Andy's rib and draws a line following it. ]

[ Andy shivers at that. ]

I meant for you, but don't stop.

You put my fingers in your mouth.

[ He says it almost as an accusation, then nips at Andy's neck. ]

There was paint on them! I was helping.

Helping me lose my mind.

You were the one who first introduced finger licking to this relationship, so it's your fault.

You were the one who first introduced the notion of sex to this relationship at all, so really...

I thought that had been Orientation.

That doesn't count.

Why not?

Orientation wasn't about you in specific.

But we were both there so clearly that's when the seed was planted.

But it wasn't because of orientation. It was because of you.

Because I'm so very handsome?

In part, yes.

I'd ask for praise but I'll just end up embarrassed.

Mostly it was because you were so very kind, and so very straightforward.

I was playing it cool.

I consider that a kindness. You were probably right to be conscious of not wanting to scare me off.

You had your uniform on.

It was all I had with me.

I know, but it was very attention-grabbing.

I thought you didn't like the police.

I don't. But I can see people as people.

Of course. I'm just surprised the uniform was, ah... initially a draw.

It's more how you wear it.

Oh. Well.

[ He clears his throat, blushing. ]

Thank you.

Plus, you desperately needed help.

Kindness.

[ Fraser kisses him. ]

As I said.

[ Andy kisses him back. ]

And you being gorgeous.

... we should probably get cleaned up.

Yeah, we should.

Come on. Let's go.

[ Fraser hauls himself up, patting Andy's leg encouragingly. ]

[ He gets to his feet, but falls into a giggle fit at the crinkling. ]

You do realize we can never use that for anything else ever again, don't you?

Let's just toss it.

Agreed.

[ He's bundling it up with as much crinkling as possible, for Andy's benefit. ]

[ Andy ends up not helping because he's laughing too hard to. ]

Put away the paints, will you?

Yeah, yeah, I'm on it.

... ah, would... would you like to join me in the shower?

Of course, come on.

[ He takes Ben's hand to lead him to the bathroom. ]

Well, I didn't want to assume.

[ He's visibly pleased that Andy is taking him up on it, though. ]

I wanna talk about... you hunting me down.

[ And the shower is clearly a good time for this. ]

[ Andy has his full attention. ]

Yes?

Now that I know my knees are good, I think I have a fighting chance.

Oh, you do, do you?

How much of a head-start am I getting?

How much of one do you want?

I don't know. How much of one do I need to have a shot?

[ Fraser shrugs. ]

Honestly, Andy, I don't mean to be arrogant, but I'm quite confident I'll be able to track you down regardless.

I'll make it hard. Give me an hour.

Very well. An hour.

There should be a time limit too, though. How much time do you want to find me?

An hour? To keep things even.

Really? I mean, if I have an hour's head start, just walking straight means you won't get me in time.

[ Someone is very confident in his ability to run very fast, very far. ]

Ninety minutes?

I'm feeling very underestimated. I can hide from you for ninety minutes no problem.

Well... shall we put that to the test, then?

Yeah, this weekend? No full moons, Junior will probably be out.

It's a date.

I look forward to it.

my dear, is it ok if andy names his goat benjamin?

I have questions.

Andy asked about getting a pet a while back, I sad yes with caveats (no otters, nothing Dief would chase) and the Grace was haunted by a goat bc of city nonsense.

So he's taking the goat so Grace can stop being re-traumatized by it.

I'm probs spending the night with her, she needs hugs.

Edited 2022-06-04 01:49 (UTC)

I have further questions.

I'll answer them all, but can we name the goat Benjamin?

Yes, but may I request it does not end up nicknamed "Ben"? I respectfully submit BJ as a possible alternative.

I don't about BJ, but we'll work something out.

Ask your questions.

Firstly, you know I'm not traumatized by otters generally, don't you?

I did not know that

I have nothing against otters. The otter was not at fault, Andy. The otter was dead.

Understood. Still, idk if we could give an otter a good life here. We're too far from the ocean.

A river otter would probably do alright in our stream, but I don't know where we'd get one in the first place. And they don't make good pets. The smell is simply appalling.

Much worse than goats, in case you have doubts.

We're getting Benjamin a little stable.

I can tell you about the Grace stuff once we're together. It's a long story and I don't want it on the network.

No, certainly. Let us be discreet.

Did you get anything? I think most people did.

Can we wait until later to discuss that as well?

Of course. I'm gonna go check on Grace, I thought maybe you could drive up with the truck later and pick up the goat with Andy?

Sorry, I don't wanna be pushy, she just really needs a hug.

I don't mind in the least. Just let me know when you're ready, and I'll head over.

You're the best ♥

I'll pick up some feed for Benjamin in the meantime.

We could shorten it to Benji.

Edited 2022-06-04 03:32 (UTC)

Benji would work. Or Jamjam.

Jamjam the goat?

Potentially.

Perfect. I'll see you tomorrow.

I got a thing too btw, but it's a non-issue.

Alright, Andy. Take care.

[ Andy goes to Grace's where they watch movies and have mimosas. And he calls Ben so he and Junior can pick up the goat.

And then he shows up at home the next morning so he can actually meet the goat and talk to Ben about how wild this whole thing is. ]

[ Fraser greets him with a kiss on the cheek as soon as he walks through the door. ]

Welcome home.

Hey, how's Jammies?

I prevented him from eating a dishtowel, your shirt, and a full bunch of bananas. Is Grace alright?

She's fine, we drank mimosas and watched movies. Is Junior home?

Yes, but he's sleeping like the dead. Have you had breakfast?

Nope, but I did have a mimosa before I left.

[ He walks over to the kitchen, assuming Ben will feed him. ]

So this is all, you know, on the down low. She doesn't super keep it secret, but she's also not exactly open about it.

Of course you shouldn't say anything that might break her confidence, Andy.

[ He's making cheese omelettes, bacon and fried tomatoes. ]

I think she'd understand, and I need to tell someone or I'll be thinking about it nonstop.

Alright. I trust your judgment.

Right. So the goat was a reminder her in-laws tried to kill her as a demonic sacrifice on her wedding night.

Edited 2022-06-04 05:50 (UTC)

... oh dear.

Yeah, it's a whole mess. Apparently they were satanists, there was some kind of ritual thing, she survived, they didn't.

Anyway, she needed hugs.

That's horrific.

Yeah. She kinda struggles like, getting her mind around the fact that the man she loved also tried to kill her, and then there's Daniel, her fiance's brother, who's here and also all sorts of messed up.

I kinda like him, but he doesn't like himself at all.

I— sorry, where does the goat come into this?

Human sacrifices were very uncommon. There was a chance when someone married into the family that the newcomer would be sacrificed, but it happened once every... I don't know, 30 years? What they did sacrifice regularly was goats, so apparently one of the dickheads compared her to a goat.

[ His eyes flash. ]

Not one of the men who are in Duplicity?

[ SOMEONE NEEDS A TED TALK ON COURTESY ]

[ Andy walks over and kisses his cheek. ]

No, no, she'll tell me if any jerks show up.

[ Fraser tilts his cheek into it and then hands Andy a plate of delicious breakfast. ]

I'm glad you could be there for her.

I got her a snuggie.

[ He takes the plate and kisses Ben again. ]

A what?

A blanket with sleeves.

You mean, a sweater?

No, it's more like a wizard robe worn backwards.

Oh. I see.

I got a stupid headband from when I was in middle school, by the way. It belonged to a bully I beat up.

...

A bully you beat up, or a bully whose attempt to beat you up was turned back on him?

Edited 2022-06-05 00:29 (UTC)

I bully who beat up other kids and I openly challenged. I got suspended, but I made sure to keep one good punch and all the kids backed me up, so he got suspended for much longer.

It's not something you look back on with any fondness, I take it.

I was a massive shit, so no, not really.

[ Fraser pats his shoulder sympathetically. ]

I got a basketball, myself. I thought perhaps we could set up a hoop.

You got basketball trauma?

I wouldn't call it basketball trauma. It actually took an embarrassingly long time for me to figure out what it was supposed to represent, although I see the logic in retrospect.

You wanna tell me about it?

[ He really doesn't. ]

Well, you see, Andy, I failed to prevent a number of deaths, in a series of events that a whimsically inclined narrator might choose to tie together with basketball as a motif.

... I don't see, no.

The details really aren't important. Honestly, neither is the basketball. The basketball is incidental.

Okay, I don't have to know about the basketball.

It's not that I don't want you to know.

You don't want to talk about it, it's okay.

I don't particularly want to be haunted by an item of sports equipment, either.

Is that how it works? It chases us until we talk about it?

I don't know, but every time I put it away, it reappears somewhere. That's the only reason I realized it wasn't a perfectly ordinary basketball. At first I thought young Andy must have brought it over.

... that happened with the headband too.

Mm. I suspected as much.

Want me to make tea?

That would be nice. Thanks.

On it. And if you wanna tell me, I can promise to listen quietly.

I don't want to burden you with more tales of violence after the goat incident, Andy.

Oh, that wasn't new. I've known about it since I met Grace, the only new thing was the goat.

Still, you seemed— understandably disturbed.

It's... well, there's a lot of very alarming shit going on there. But I'm okay.

... and you'd prefer if I told you?

Yeah, I'm always happier with you telling me things.

Very well.

[ It'll take him a few moments to gather his thoughts, though. ]

[ That's fine, Andy's getting the tea. ]

I suppose I can start with the basketball. You see, when my best friend was a child, he did witness a traumatic basketball event.

Okay, I'm listening.

Apparently, the son of the neighbourhood mob boss used one rather brutally as a weapon against one of his schoolmates when they were kids, and he was, understandably, too intimidated to step in. It stayed with him even as a grown man.

And then—well. A few years ago, another friend of ours was killed, and most of the involved parties were convinced it was at the hand of said childhood nemesis.

... were they right?

No.

[ Fucking Cops. Not that he knows for sure it's cops, but he's making an educated guess. ]

Okay, so your friend went after this basketball nemesis?

I can't prove that. He may have only been trying to protect the man's sister, for whom he had feelings. Regardless, there was a confrontation between him, the nemesis, and the true perpetrator of the bombing that killed Louis.

Where were you in all of this?

Investigating the real perpetrator and then trying to stop my best friend from causing a confrontation.

He got someone killed, didn't he? Your friend?

[ Fraser stares at him in disbelief and wordless accusation, like, really? You're really going to go there? ]

Sorry, sorry. I just... I'll be quiet.

[ It's not that Fraser consciously decides to give Andy the silent treatment. He's aware that's unproductive. But he finds himself too angry to speak. None of the words crowding into his head are kind or helpful or even on topic. So he says nothing, staring silently at the counter. ]

[ That's fair. Andy knows he fucked up, so he's just gonna drink his tea and wait this out. ]

[ After several long minutes, Fraser masters himself enough to speak up again, tone even. ]

I hardly think it's helpful to assign blame in the case of an accident, but if we must, I was equally as responsible. My friend didn't fire on anyone. He tried to escort the sister out of the house. The bomber tried to shoot the brother. I prevented him. The brother then tried to shoot my friend, but missed, and killed his sister instead.

[ It's always the cop's fault, he doesn't say. He just leans back and nods. ]

[ Fraser gets up abruptly. ]

I'm going for a walk.

All right, I'll see you later.

[ He apologized, Ben drove in the 'don't assign blame' thing. They can just cool off and never talk about it again. ]

[ Fraser doesn't come back all day, but he texts around supper time: ]

I won't be back tonight. I've booked a hotel.

Come back home, I'll take the hotel.

No, thank you. I'm here already.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make things difficult. I didn't think about what I was saying and I regretted it the second I did.

[ There's some typing/not typing, and then a voice call comes through. ]

[ He picks up even though text was easier. ]

Hi, Andy.

[ His voice is soft, and sounds tired. ]

Hey. Come home? I promise I won't be an asshole.

... I just called to say that I accept your apology.

[ Which isn't a no, necessarily, he just needs to get it out before he can think about anything else. ]

Okay. Thank you.

The basketball fell out of the hotel linen closet when I opened it.

[ He huffs, god. ]

I love you.

I love you, too. I'm sorry I stormed off.

You were right to be upset. I'm sorry you didn't get to the actual basketball thing.

I thought I had. Did your headband keep following you?

No, it stayed in the closet.

I must have been thinking of the wrong basketball incident.

If it's two separate incidents maybe you do have basketball trauma.

The basketball is merely symbolic, I'm quite certain. I enjoy basketball.

I'm sorry you're being haunted.

Thanks, Andy.

[ There's a pause. ]

... will you think very badly of me if I don't come home tonight?

Of course not. Do what you need to.

[ He'll think badly of himself, but that's fine. ]

I'm not upset with you anymore, I just—

You need a minute. I understand.

You don't.

I'm sorry, Andy, but you don't. You're so focused on what we did wrong in the scenario, I don't think you realize you brushed right past the fact that my friend died right in front of me. When I said there was a bomber—

—I saw him. I saw him heading away from the car. I knew there was something wrong. I didn't know what. I tried to stop Louis from opening the door. I was only halfway across the street from him, yelling his name, but he didn't hear me. I was barely ten feet away when the whole thing went up in flames. I had to hold his partner back from throwing himself into the fireball in a futile attempt to save him, knowing it was too late, because I had been too late. I was a pallbearer at his funeral. We played cards together. He wanted to retire and become a comedian. You didn't let me tell you any of that.

[ Holy shit. There's an audible gasp, and then he's very quiet for a second. ]

I'm so sorry Ben.

It's all right. As I said, I'm not upset with you anymore. It's just that I think I would like to take the night to mourn the loss of my friend without feeling the need to defend his memory.

Okay. I'll be here.

Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow...?

Yeah, I'll make banana pancakes.

That sounds great.

... goodnight, then. I love you.

Love you too.

[ Time to lie awake all night with the weight of my sins. ]

[ What Fraser intends to do is eat pigs in a blanket in honour of Louis, toast his memory with a non alcoholic beverage, go to bed at a reasonable hour, and head home around when Andy normally wakes up.

What actually happens is that he orders pigs in a blanket and then only has the appetite for one bite, because he is sad. He packs the rest up for later, toasts Louis, and falls asleep with his clothes on before the sun has even fully set. After a nap, he ends up going for a long night time walk, until around 4am he realizes he's back at the driveway of the Canadian Consulate. So he tries to sneak up to bed with Andy without waking anyone. ]

[ Andy's in the living room, reading, because the idea of sleeping in an empty bed makes him queasy.

He spends the afternoon going through every stage of grief, which is ridiculous because he only said one stupid, thoughtless thing, and he alternates between flipping the pages forward and then back again, since he's not actually absorbing any of the words. ]

[ Fraser stops short in surprise to see Andy still downstairs and awake. ]

Andy, are you alright? Is— did something happen to the lad?

[ He's not expecting for Ben to be home before morning, so he sits up, startled, maybe a little guilty, like a kid caught up past bedtime. ]

No, no, Andy's fine— the lad?

[ Technically it's morning. But only technically. ]

Oh, good. But why are you— well, he is a lad. Dear God, I'm starting to sound like my father.

I couldn't sleep. Which is a hundred percent on me... you okay?

[ He's walking over to give him a hug, but he hesitates, not sure if Ben wants a hug. ]

[ Fraser pulls him the rest of the way forward and wraps his arms around him. ]

I'm fine. Are you hungry...? I brought some pigs in a blanket.

[ Give him a moment to hug Ben very tightly first. ]

[ Oh. Yeah, okay. The initial chaos fades enough for Fraser to take in Andy's distress, and he immediately shuts up and holds him closer when he realizes. ]

I'm okay, it's fine, I promise.

Okay.

[ He's not going to stop hugging him. ]

[ He presses his face against Ben's shoulder and makes a childish, whiny noise. ]

[ Fraser kisses his hair. ]

... I know it's morning, but do you want to just go to bed with me?

[ It is not morning by anyone else's standards, Fraser. ]

It's morning?

[ He does desperately want to go to bed. ]

... yeah. Yeah, I wanna go to bed.

Yes, darling. It's after four.

... come on. We can sleep in, for once.

[ He starts nudging them towards the stairs. ]

I don't want you to feel like you have to soothe my feelings.

[ But he's not letting go and guiding Ben upstairs. ]

It's not— out of obligation. I just want...

[ He trails off, not sure how to express himself. ]

Okay. Okay, I just worry.

[ He really does try very actively not to be a dick. ]

[ Ben thinks a little more before figuring out what he wanted to say. ]

I got lonely without you.

The idea of sleeping in our bed by myself didn't sit right.

I didn't want you to lose sleep over a few thoughtless words, Andy...

No, don't feel guilty. I'm just stupid.

You are not stupid.

[ Ugh, Andy kisses him. ]

My feelings for you are so big, everything feels huge.

[ Yes, kisses are good. ]

The good things, too?

Yeah, everything's big.

[ Fraser kisses him again before stepping away to get undressed. ]

[ Andy strips too, staying close to Ben. ]

[ He's hurrying a bit so they can get cozy under the covers. ]

... I am sorry about your friend. And I'm sorry I didn't listen.

[ Ben nods in acknowledgement, reaching for Andy again once they're settled in bed. ]

[ Andy curls in with him immediately. ]

[ Although Fraser isn't overtly upset or emotional, he's still feeling kind of worn and vulnerable, so it's really nice to be able to just... rest. He practically melts against Andy, letting out a long, slow breath. ]

I'd better tell you about the other incident, lest we be woken by a ball to the face.

If you want.

[ He kisses Ben's cheek. ]

... I don't, really, but... well, it's a bit silly.

Tell me, I'll be good.

Well... as you know, I find it difficult, at times, to... to express myself openly. I know it frustrates you, on occasion. But at the moment, I find myself more reluctant than usual. And I think it's important to overcome that reluctance, to demonstrate to myself that there's no reason for it.

[ In other words, he's a bit afraid Andy will hurt is feelings again, and he wants a do-over to prove that he won't. ]

I know, I understand. I promise you, I'll never do that again.

By no means am I trying to make excuses for revenge schemes or police brutality, I'd like to make that clear.

I know, dear. I let my own experience with cops carry me away.

Because I do believe very sincerely that when one is in a position of authority, and most especially a position of authority that one is allowed to exercise through force, it is absolutely imperative to act with restraint and compassion, and not to allow oneself to be swayed from striving to create justice.

Ben, I know you and I trust you, and I'd know you'd never abuse your position. My comment wasn't about you, I just— I had never had a pleasant interaction with a cop until I met you and Ray, so that informs my opinion. I said shit on reflex.

...

I may not be worthy of that trust.

Why not?

[ He's not worried. ]

There may have been times—basketball related times—when I turned a blind eye.

What did you turn a blind eye on?

I don't know. That's rather the point of turning a blind eye. To remain in ignorance.

So I don't know what he did. But I do know that after my first encounter with the man you call basketball nemesis, after he had me beaten, quite badly, I let Ray—Ray Vecchio—go into a room with him alone while I waited in the car.

Ah, your first partner. So he went in, came out, you never asked what happened?

I trusted him not to abuse his position.

I didn't allow myself to think that trust might have been misplaced until I saw how he was after Louis's death. At which point there were more urgent matters to attend to, and then... well.

Things were different. That was after he shot me, for one thing. For another, he'd just lost Irene, and he'd set aside his... his hatred, his vengeance. And it was so long ago, at that point. But maybe those are excuses. Maybe by the time it occurred to me that there might be anything to ask about, I was afraid of the answer.

Your partner shot you.

[ It's not quite a question, but he's very surprised. ]

Bullet's still there.

[ Which is literally all the information Fraser has given Andy about it in the past, but at least now he knows which scar it is?

And that this means his partner shot him in the back. ]

Can... can you help me understand the timeline. Was the basketball before or after you being shot?

... ah, certainly. Well, as you know, I first went to Chicago on the trail of the killers of my father. That case was in the hands of a detective with the Chicago PD, one Ray Vecchio, who, after assisting me in bringing said killers to justice, became my best friend and close colleague in my role as liaison to the Canadian Consulate. After a few months of working together, we ended up pursuing a case that resulted in the initial basketball incident—while attempting to protect innocent people from extortion at the hands of "basketball nemesis" [ He does air quotes. ] I was badly beaten.

Later that year... some months later, in fact... Ray Vecchio accidentally shot me. It wasn't until the next year, well after I'd recovered, that we encountered basketball nemesis once more, during the time surrounding Louis's death.

... okay, so we think the basketball's haunting you over the first time?

[ He can't actually address any of the heavier stuff without going batshit on Vecchio. So he's gonna try to be reasonable about this. ]

I can't imagine what else it would be. Well... no, I suppose I did also work on a basketball related case with our Ray. But I don't think I found it particularly emotionally significant...? Admittedly, I did lose my boots, temporarily, which was a bit upsetting, but they were returned, so I don't think it's really comparable.

When you let Ray V go look into that, did you think he was gonna abuse his power?

No. I believed implicitly that he would not.

Well Ben, I think trusting your partner is the entire point of having a partner, and in this scenario you did what you were supposed to do.

[ Sometimes you don't know you want to hear something until you hear it. Fraser swallows hard and presses even closer to Andy. ]

I appreciate the vote of confidence.

This is kind of a silly parallel, but Henry hated that I beat up that bully. He only found out after, and he was furious at me.

But he never told anyone it was my fault, because he knew the guy was a bully, and he trusted me, and he didn't wanna fight me over it.

I don't think Henry's trust was misplaced.

Do you think yours was?

No. I trust him still.

Then it's okay, isn't it? Nothing to feel bad about.

... you're right. Thank you, Andy.

[ Andy kisses him because that is smarter than questioning why he'd trust a fucking cop who shot him in the back. ]

[ Much, much smarter. ]

Hey. So, I know you'll ultimately do what you gotta do and all. And my feelings aren't your responsibility, but you do keep telling me I'm allowed to express them so.

I really don't want you to go on the suicidal pirate adventure. I think I can present a very reasonable and compelling argument against it, with solid logic and reasoning.

I hardly think "suicidal pirate adventure" is a just description, when it is an exploratory voyage with no plans of preying on other ships. And of course there are reasonable and compelling arguments against it. So there are with any large and risky venture. That doesn't mean it shouldn't be attempted.

I'm not against it being attempted, I'm against you joining it.

Because Best case scenario, they find a way out, and then I never see you again. And worst case scenario, you die, and then I never see you again.

But Andy, I hadn't even suggested that I would go.

Right, yeah. But I saw your comment and had anxiety so I thought I'd tackle it before it spiraled.

As much as it pains me to distress you, you must know I will not decide my course of action out of fear—not my own fear, and not yours, either.

That's why I opened by saying I had a reasonable, compelling argument.

Very well, let's hear it.

[ Andy spends a lot of time typing/not typing. ]

Even if we ignore the dangers and how poorly all previous escape attempts have gone, there's no way to know if there will be a way back once the ship leaves city borders.

So, there's a high chance this is a one way trip. So that'd leave the people still here stranded I guess, and we'd never know what happened to you.

And then if it's not a one-way trip, but it takes a while, the city might mark you as having left the city, which would mean me and Andy would need to find some other place to live or move-in a new Dominant. Which would suck for us.

And there's a lot of other stuff, but I keep rereading and deleting it because it comes across as emotionally manipulative, and I don't wanna be that guy. So while I understand and admire the drive to do this, and would have probably cheerfully joined it only a few months ago, I think it's a bad idea. (I also would've thought it was a bad idea months ago, I just would've joined anyway.)

You would not need to move out or bring in a new Dominant if I left a will, giving the Canadian Consulate over to Faith, with the understanding that she would take up your contracts. I can't imagine that you really believe I'd leave without at least making provision for you not to be left homeless and unprotected.

There are a number of other points we disagree on, but that's not important. They're largely matters of opinion, and in any case I don't intend to try to sway you. Your position has been noted.

Are you going?

Well, I'm certainly not going to make a decision about it right this second, Andy. I'm surprised you would ask.

[ There's a lot of 'typing' 'not typing' again. ]

All right. Let me know.

Of course. You'll be the first to know.

See you when you get home.

See you then.

[ He arrives home at his usual time and pauses just inside the door to take off his work boots like on every ordinary day. ]

I'm home.

Hey.

[ Andy is in the kitchen, stress baking. Healthy Coping Mechanisms. Ben might notice he's very tense. ]

Hi.

[ Ben comes over and kisses him on the cheek. ]

What's wrong...? Is young Andy worse?

No news there. It's fine, just— fears that will not decide your course of action.

[ He's aiming for a light tone, but he misses the mark a bit. ]

[ Fraser frowns a little, uncertain. ]

You're still anxious?

I'm terrified!

[ His voice goes high and shaky. And he makes himself breath in and out, leaning against the counter. ]

It's fine. It's fine, it's six weeks away, I'm okay.

[ It's very possible he's been saying that to himself over and over for several hours. ]

Oh. Oh, I see.

[ He's startled as well as dismayed, and he immediately goes over to put his arms around Andy. ]

[ This isn't at all reassuring, but he does let himself sink against Ben. ]

I'm sorry.

[ It's like he's trying to switch off whatever feelings he's feeling one by one and it's only half working. ]

I don't see what in the world you have to be sorry for.

[ Ben holds him close, nuzzling under his ear a bit like a worried puppy. ]

This isn't fair to you.

[ He seems to be effectively shutting down whatever feelings he was having. ]

We can talk it out once you know.

[ He's also very carefully avoiding looking at Ben as he speaks. ]

I thought we had talked it out.

... no. We can't talk it out until I know if you're going. Because— I get my feelings on the matter are irrelevant, but whatever you do is gonna inform what I do, but I don't wanna speculate because I've been running scenarios all afternoon and it's making me miserable. So it's fine, I'll just bake and shelve it until you know.

[ He kisses Ben very quickly, and then goes back to his cupcakes!!! ]

Your feelings are not irrelevant.

[ He's so confused, but very firm and indignant on that point. ]

I told you I didn't want you to go, I told you I was anxious, and you said you wouldn't decide based on that. So, they're irrelevant.

[ HE IS!!! MAKING!!! CUPCAKES!!! ]

It's fine, my fears are my own problem. Just let me know when you know.

That is so reductive as to be false.

Well, I'm an idiot then.

You're not an—

[ He cuts himself off, aware that he's raising his voice, taking a breath and trying more calmly. ]

Clearly, we're having some kind of miscommunication. Some misunderstanding. Your feelings are very relevant, Andy, I assure you.

[ He breathes in and out too, because he is an emotionally healthy adult and he should be able to use his words. ]

... yeah. We are, and I'm in my head about it, and it's not your fault. I don't want to be manipulative and I'm also just terrified if like six different things, which are also not your fault. But like—

[ He turns back to his cupcakes so he has something to do with his hands while he speaks. ]

Bottom line, if you did decide to go, I wouldn't be okay. Even if everything went right, even if you came back, a part of me would follow you on that ship and be lost at sea. And I've been thinking about that nonstop all afternoon. You leaving and taking this part of me with you, and me just losing it. And I know that that's not fair to you, but it is what it is.

[ Cupcake goes on the round hole. And tray goes in the oven. Everything is fine. ]

[ This is not the time to go non-verbal, and he's actively fighting against it, but his voice comes out muted and strange. ]

I don't want to do that to you.

[ He turns back to look at him, even though that increases the chances he'll just break down, and reaches for him tentatively. ]

So don't.

[ He holds out his hands, but doesn't answer. ]

[ Which makes Andy all twisted up inside, but it doesn't stop him from pulling Ben into a hug. ]

[ Ben holds him very tightly. ]

I won't go.

[ It's like a dam breaking in slow motion, there's a quiet hiccup, followed by a louder one, and the next thing he knows he's wailing like a toddler. He pulls Ben even closer, arms wrapped around him so tightly it has to hurt. ]

[ He can hold on as tight as he wants, Ben isn't going anywhere. He rubs Andy's back and pets his hair and makes slightly awkward soothing noises. ]

[ He's gonna have to deal with Andy's broken sobbing until the oven timer goes off. So it's A While. ]

[ Fraser becomes sufficiently alarmed by this to try words before the timer goes off, still holding him. ]

Andy... Andy, don't... don't. I'll stay. I'm sorry. I didn't realize— I made a muddle of it—

[ Okay, he can try words too. ]

I'm okay. Good—

[ He's caught off by a hiccup. But makes a Better attempt: ]

Manly tears.

[ He chuckles softly and kisses Andy's hair, although the moment of levity doesn't make his ensuing explanation any less earnest. ]

It was only that I didn't want to promise not to go before I'd had a chance to think through, rationally, if I thought I could materially contribute to the success of the voyage through my presence to a degree that would offset the good that I might do here. I never thought it very likely that I would decide in favour of going, but it seemed unfair to you to say so before I'd fully considered the matter, just in case.

[ What if he just stays here forever. ]

I went into a panic spiral and any attempts at digging myself out failed.

[ But at least he knew he was in a spiral, which is progress. ]

I'm sorry, it's on me.

Everyone is afraid sometimes. You don't have to apologize.

I love you very much.

And I, you.

Did you really think I would just abandon you without any regard for your feelings?

No, I— you said you wouldn't make a decision based on fear, and fear's all I got. But I know you'd never hurt me on purpose.

But surely, Andy, you wouldn't make a decision based solely on fear, yourself.

The way you worded it, it felt like fear wouldn't factor in at all.

I just don't think it should be allowed to outweigh other considerations.

[ Andy kisses him again. ]

I know, I promise, I get it, I just freaked.

You can trust me, Andy.

I do, I trust you.

[ Okay, then, he gets another kiss, even if Fraser does sort of feel that trust is incompatible with the idea that he would just up and leave without even making arrangements for if he wouldn't make it back. ]

[ Ben is not understanding the main problem, but that's fine because he said he's not going and they're kissing now. ]

The cupcakes. I have so many cupcakes.

Oh— yes, of course.

Let me get those before they burn.

[ He remembers to put on the oven mitts before getting it, which means he's fine, probably. ]

[ Fraser leans against the counter, watching him. ]

... I hope you'll learn take it as a matter of course that your feelings do very much matter to me, and that I would of course consult them before making any major life decisions.

I'm really sorry I freaked out. I just need things spelled out for me sometimes.

... I suppose I just worry that perhaps you don't think your feelings should have weight with me.

[ That is more correct. And he's surprised and immediately reluctant to admit it. ]

... dooo you want many cupcakes?

Andy...

I've never felt for anyone the way I feel about you—

[ He breathes out and it comes out shaky. ]

My experience with relationships is all BDSM. Clear communication and boundaries and respect, and I don't know where to put my feelings in there. Obviously I have no problem having breakdowns on you, but— I don't know, I don't want to be a problem.

Edited 2022-07-06 07:37 (UTC)

Well... if Grace were in a committed relationship with someone, and they'd agreed to try to find each other if they were ever removed from Duplicity, and had adopted a child together, would you say she was being a problem, if she were upset when she thought her partner might suddenly go away to sea?

Grace is a bad example because I love her and she's never done anything wrong in her life. But it's not that I don't think I have the right to be upset, I know I do. I just don't know where the line is, like— I don't want you to have to guess how I'm feeling, that's passive-aggressive, but I also don't want you to feel guilty over how I feel.

You are no more responsible for my feeling guilty than I am for you feeling anxious.

... you're being very logical about me having a several minute breakdown on you and getting your shirt wet.

[ he steps closer and draws him into a hug. ]

You don't mind, do you?

[ Now that the cupcakes have been rescued, he just scoops Andy up and carries him off to the living room so they can cuddle on the couch. ]

[ God, Andy gets immediately clingy. ]

I want to make you happy.

You do make me happy.

Yeah, but the bar is so high. You have no idea.

May I tell you what I think?

Yeah, always.

I think we each are responsible for our own feelings, but since we love and respect each other and want to help each other to be happy, the best we can do is honestly let each other know our feelings and wishes, so that we can decide together what's best for both of us.

[ Andy kisses him. ]

Sounds perfect.

[ As soon as he's finished agreeing, Fraser draws him back in for more kisses. ]

[ He's still very embarrassed, but he's also in love and feeling much better. ]

I don't know if you saw, but I promised Lt. Irving that I'd outfit the Tempest with a VHF and see to their carpentry supply needs.

Yeah. That's cool, I can help.

... I don't want to distress you again, but... I've been thinking I should make arrangements with another Dominant to keep you in this house if I happen to disappear, even without taking any exceptional risks.

[ Andy's pretty sure he wouldn't want to stay in the house if Ben disappeared. He thought about it after the text exchange, but he's not sure he wants to have that conversation. ]

I'm pretty sure you can leave it to me or Junior. I think we get a local Dominant to help us 'transition' and then ownership of the house goes to whoever we sign with.

... yes, but... wouldn't you rather have a contingency with someone we trust?

... I. Honestly, if you disappeared, I'd probably move back to Down housing, or sign with Grace or Daniel. I'd want Junior to keep the house, and I'm guessing he'd sign with Ky.

[ Fraser draws back a little. ]

You'd leave him here alone? Even if you didn't have to?

Of course not. I'd stay if he wanted me to, the thing is, if you left the house to one of us— or both, if the city allows it, we'd have three months to decide who to move in. But if you leave it to a Dominant, our options would be to sign with them or move out immediately.

I see. No, that makes sense. I just don't like the idea of you being assigned some local for "the transition". I'd much rather you both signed with Grace, and she have the house on paper.

... I think I'd need the transitional time, Ben.

Very well. I understand. I'll do as you suggest.

I know it's not something we have any control over, but please don't disappear on me.

If I can by any means prevent it, you may be sure that I will.

Henry's gonna be so mad about him no longer being my favorite person.

Will he really?

At first, yeah. But I think he'll be relieved right after.

I'm sure he'll soon realize our relationships are entirely unique.

God, I hope so because I can't imagine him wanting to sleep with me.

That... is a factor, I suppose.

... you're sure it was you and Ray?

Entirely sure.

So, working theory is you go home, and then in three years or so, you give me a compass. And Ray gives me earmuffs.

Yes. Where were you vacationing, exactly?

[ He gives a quiet, somewhat despaired chuckle. ]

I have no idea. I know we passed through Yellowknife, but that's it.

That's alright. I'm reasonably sure I recognize the area.

You know, when we were in that room I thought maybe you were upset because you recognized it and noticed missing trees or something.

There were signs of human encroachment on habitat I had hoped would be protected by now, but that was hardly my focus at the time.

[ Andy's just gonna kiss him again. ]

[ Kisses are always welcome. ]

Do you wanna go upstairs?

Won't Junior be home soon?

Yeah, probably.

Perhaps we'd better not.

Yeah.

[ He kisses him again and then moves to get up. ]

Do you want a cupcake? I made so many and I'm not sure I know what flavors I mixed.

Well, then, perhaps I'd better have a few in the spirit of inquiry.

[ There's a lot of banana chocolate, and vanilla chocolate, and mint chocolate. Most batches have chocolate because that's a comfort flavor. But there are a few ones that are just vanilla, those are decorated with a wolf. For Dief. ]

I know that batch is chocolate-free.

[ Dief is out roaming the woods, but he can have one when he comes back for dinner. ]

I'm sure Diefenbaker will be thrilled.

[ Fraser is cutting one from each of the different batches into quarters so he can try them all, and then he takes the other 3/4 of the banana chocolate to finish. ]

This banana chocolate is really excellent.

I'll make more of those then.

[ He takes one of those now that Ben's identified them for him. ]

I think there may already be enough cupcakes here to feed a small army.

I'm really sorry. I'll take them to Daniel's, he's running this thing for uncontracted subs.

Oh—I honestly didn't mean it as a criticism, Andy. I was just impressed. And I'm sure anyone who's been living on the cafeteria food in the Down will be very glad to have these.

I'm not only apologizing for the cupcakes.

You don't need to apologize for anything at all.

You don't think I overreacted really irrationally, and could have definitely approached my anxiety in a more chill way?

I think that if you could have, you would have, and next time you're more likely to be able to, if you think back on this time.

You're the best boyfriend.

[ Ben makes a bit of a rueful face and tugs Andy closer so he can bury his face in his neck for a moment. ]

Far from it.

[ Andy hugs him again. ]

I've never seen a better one.

Edited 2022-07-11 00:31 (UTC)

You've never dated anyone else.

[ Hugs are good, though. ]

But I've seen many boyfriends! Just not mine.

Well. Thank you. But I think I could do better.

Really? How?

I don't think I've done a very good job of making it clear that our relationship is a priority, for one thing.

No, you have.

But you didn't know.

That's not it. I, well, I'm an idiot, but that aside I just— I just thought— under different circumstances, without Andy with us, I think I'd be okay with going? And I know you'd like to go sailing with the crew of The Terror, like, who wouldn't?

And you didn't say you weren't going by text, so I just spiraled. It had nothing to do with you and everything to do with me playing out increasingly worse scenarios in my head.

I should have said I didn't have any strong intention of going right away.

To be fair, Ben, you couldn't have known I was spiraling. I should've been more clear about what was going on.

Still, I don't think I was being very sensitive, in retrospect.

[ Andy just kisses him again. ]

I will try to convey my feelings more clearly when texting, and you can be more specific about your plans when I express uncertainty.

Alright.

[ He kisses him back. ]

[ Andy's just had a very alarming conversation, so he's texting Ben, probably in the middle of the workplace. ]

where are you? got to talk to you right away. it's about andy, can't risk texting it bc then this hellhole will publish it.

I'm doing yard work at Huaisang's. Where are you? I'll meet you halfway.

dom housing. see u at the train station?

I'll be there as soon as I can.

[ he just sends a thumbs up emoji and his live location bc he's not sure he's gonna be able to navigate the city without getting distracted. ]

[ Fraser gets to him with uncanny speed considering he didn't take the truck today. ]

[ Andy reaches for him as soon as he spots him. Trying very hard to push off the meltdown he knows he'll have eventually. ]

Hey, hey, let's sit down. Ky texted me, he told me— he wanted someone to know in case he disappeared. I don't think it went well.

... should we go to the Back Door? It's probably the best place I know these days for real privacy.

[ If Andy was worried about this getting published from the network, Fraser is equally wary about getting caught on cameras in the Up. And normally he'd say they should just go home, but... well. Under the circumstances. ]

... yeah. Let's go.

[ He doesn't want to wait, but he promised Ky he wouldn't be stupid about it. Privacy will go a long way. ]

[ Fraser offers his arm as they head to the elevator. ]

[ Andy takes his arm. ]

Would it be frustrating if I talked about it vaguely? I don't want to— I don't want to make this suck more than it has to.

I don't mind, if it will make you feel better.

[ The only way to tell Fraser is worried too is that he's being very efficient. ]

I think I have a solid idea of next steps, so that's the only good news. I don't know where I'm gonna be after this emotions-wise, but I think pissed at Ky is likely.

Alright.

Do you want me to guess, and respond, or just listen?

You can respond if you want? I don't think you know the guy I'm thinking about going to. 'Master of the Mystic Arts', he's kind of dickish, but it's the kind of arrogance borne out of confidence. You know, brain surgeon arrogant. "I'm gonna open up your head and you'll thank me for it."

[ A few of Henry's doctor friends are like that, and it's always the really good ones. ]

Arrogance, or even just confidence, and competence don't always go hand in hand.

I know. But he had the right approach, and he's new, and older, and not related to the Theater kids. I mean, I'll make sure he's not an asshole before telling him anything, but I think he's our best option.

I trust your judgment, Andy.

I don't, I need you to tell me I'm not being an idiot about this.

I'd better wait for the full context, I think, but even if we end up having different perspectives, I'm sure you're not being an idiot.

I didn't snap at Ky but it was a close thing.

Hmm.

[ He can put his arm around Andy while they're riding the elevator down, right? ]

[ Andy leans against him. ]

We'll figure it out.

Whatever it is, we will.

I love you.

And I, you. It'll be alright, Andy.

Yeah... I think it just might suck for a bit.

Well, such is life.

Yeah, you're right.

[ He's feeling better, which is great because it means he'll be able to tell Ben things without having a meltdown. ]

[ They can hold hands while they make their way to the Back Door and find an out-of-the-way table where they won't be overhears. ]

[ By the time they're sitting, Andy's nervous again. He orders a glass of water and looks at Ben, hesitating about how to start. He takes Ben's hand across the table because he's easier, and looks at him as he finally manages to get some words out. ]

So the— the everything, it's because Andy died— and then he was brought back. Ky didn't really know the details.

[ Andy has a guess, and he doesn't like his guess but that's not the issue right now. ]

... you mean he was resuscitated?

[ Because that's what it sounds like Andy means, but that actually doesn't explain anything at all. ]

No. Uh— reanimated. As in zombies? Ky told me his body is healing itself slowly, and also there's some magic, which is why we can't see he's a... well. Zombie.

[ Zombie sounds better than corpse. ]

His friend Elliot brought him back.

[ First of all, what the actual fuck?

Fraser is going to take a moment to process this before he says anything at all. ]

I see.

[ It comes out flat, not quite skeptical, but... ]

And you believe Ky knows what he's talking about?

About that part, yeah. [ Which means there's more, sorry dear. ] But, apparently, the reanimation process involved or invited or whatever, an entity or monster or something, which is what might be healing Andy? Ky wasn't very clear and parts of my brain shut down after the zombie part.

[ He just wants to let it all out, so he doesn't actually stop long enough for Ben to interject. ]

So, point one, Andy's concerned the whatever will lash out if Andy becomes aware it's there, I think? And also he says Elliot may have cursed him and the curse will activate if Andy finds out. The latter might be bullshit, the former might be inevitable, either way I don't think it's safe to tell him until— well, until we understand what's happening. I promised Ky I wouldn't do anything stupid and that I wouldn't tell Andy before telling him first.

[ Fraser listens to all of that very carefully. ]

Well.

I think you're absolutely right that the first thing we need is a second opinion.

Yeah, I don't want to keep it from him, but I don't want to tell him and make it worse— or tell him and for something to happen to Ky.

... but I can't go to the Theater kids because they know Andy and most of the wizards who've been here for a bit are connected to the Theater so, I figure I can ask this newer guy?

Do you know much about him aside from "arrogant and competent"?

Not much beyond his finder. I'll go back to it and read his conversations, make sure he's not creepy. And I can contact him about it, see what he says.

I think it's a good place to start. Your reasoning seems sound to me.

Okay, good. Thank you... Are you okay? I've had a solid hour to get my mind around it.

Yes, Andy. I'm fine.

[ It occurs to him belatedly that sometimes Andy doesn't like it when he just says he's fine, even if he is, and Andy is already upset, so he hastily tries to elaborate. ]

I really am. It seems clear to me that we need to know more, and I don't think young Andy urgently needs to know the cause of his troubles, quite aside from the extraneous problems his self knowledge could bring about, so, startling as the situation is, we have our first steps. And, as in any investigative situation, it's important to first assemble our facts before drawing any conclusions. Theories would merely be premature conjecture at this point. So I'm putting such thoughts firmly out of my mind.

[ Okay, but does that mean Andy can have his breakdown now? He doesn't have Ben's compartmentalization abilities and this has been a lot.

He huffs out a laugh then just lets his head drop on the table ]

I love you.

[ It's a very tired mumble. He feels like he's aged ten years ]

[ Fraser hesitates for just a moment and then reaches out to gloss a hand gently over Andy's hair. ]

And I, you.

I love that kid.

[ He'll be fine, he just needs a minute. ]

I knew there was something, but I wasn't expecting this.

... do you want to go up to the roof so I can hold you?

[ He turns to look at him. ]

Can we stay there forever?

[ There's an attempt to inject some humor into his tone but it's not very successful. ]

We can stay there until you're ready to go.

Forever it is.

[ He lifts his head, and stands up, reaching for Ben's hand immediately. ]

[ Ben takes it and leads him up to the friends only area Faith made up on the roof, bee lining for a comfy spot where they can cuddle. ]

This would be so much scarier without you.

[ That gets him a kiss on the temple. ]

We none of us have to deal with this alone.

I have no idea of how we're gonna tell him.

We can cross that bridge when we come to it. At the moment, I'm more concerned with figuring out what's actually going on with his, ah, symbiotic supernatural little passenger. There's really very little to tell until we know what it's doing to him.

Right, yeah. And gotta make sure Ky won't like, melt if Andy finds out.

[ He's less concerned about that, but he doesn't want to tell his son he's a zombie and then that his werewolf friend died because he told him. ]

... yes, we'd better.

I'll see if the wizard can look into that too. I don't know if it'd be rude to offer to pay for his services?

I don't think it's rude to open the discussion. We can be honest about our ignorance of his customs concerning renumeration.

Yeah, I think I might be looking for something concrete to stress about.

You don't have enough to stress about as is?

Nothing I have the power to fix.

Ah. Well, I can certainly sympathize with that.

You could always contact him again now if you wanted something active to do.

Yeah, all right.

[ He shoots a quick text and leans against Ben. ]

[ Ben kisses the side of his head. ]

You're doing all the right things.

I'm trying.

[ There's a reply pretty much immediately, and Andy replies back without thinking. ]

He wants to talk, I think I'll be right—

[ And then he disappears. Pls hold, he will return shortly. ]

[ UH. The sad part about this is Andy misses out on getting to see Fraser look wildly startled. He'll just. Wait. ]

[ Maybe he'll get to see Ben startled when he reappears just as suddenly like thirty minutes later, holding a bowl of popcorn and a t-shirt. ]

... I think we should invite him to dinner sometime. Hi dear, sorry about that. Popcorn?

[ He's sort of expecting it, so he only looks a little bit startled. The popcorn does get a nonplussed stare, though. ]

...

Sure.

Thanks.

[ He takes a handful and pops it into his mouth, although he gives it sort of a dubious look first. ]

The nice wizard is gonna look into it for us, he shares our concerns. He dragged Ky in too, Ky is— god, I get that he loves Andy, and he's very worried, but this would be a lot easier if he weren't so pig-headed.

I take it he's very set on hiding everything from Andy?

He is, yeah. He was dismissive of the whole family dynamic we got going and he didn't want to talk with me still in the room.

[ He's annoyed about it, but he'll get over it. ]

Doctor Strange will look into it, though, he's a good person. Not much into the feelings part of it, but very focused on helping.

Well, that's Kieron's prerogative.

[ As it happens, Fraser is inclined to be dismissive of Ky's dismissal. ]

But that sounds promising.

[ Andy kisses him. ]

I'll check in later, if he doesn't get back to me. I really think he can help— or tells us there's nothing to worry about, if Ky's right about it fixing itself.

[ Ben noses softly at his cheek. ]

Good.

Are you ready to go home?

Yeah. God, today's felt eternal.

It's not even that late, is it?

Not really, no.

[ He pats Andy's thigh. ]

Shall we get ice cream on the way?

Yes, please.

... are you okay?

Yes.

I'm used to dead family members.

... Sweetheart.

[ Oh God, he just realized how that sounded. ]

No, I mean— I wasn't being morbid— well, technically, I suppose I was being morbid, but I only meant I'm somewhat accustomed to the idea that death is not the end of the line for being a present, talkative member of a family. So perhaps it's less of... of an adjustment in thinking, for me.

[ Andy covers his face with a hand and laughs a little brokenly. ]

God. I guess that's reasonable.

I didn't mean to be upsetting.

It's not, it makes sense. Just... weird to think about.

I suppose it is, yes.

... do you think it matters that we've only known Andy for a few months?

[ Andy doesn't think it matters at all, but the way Ky said it— it wasn't an attack. ]

In what sense?

Do we have... I don't know, the right to be Andy's parents, I guess?

He gave us the right. If that's how he feels about us, and it's a responsibility we've chosen to take up in response, I think we do have it.

I hope Doctor Strange figures this out quickly, I'm gonna hate keeping things from him.

We don't know enough yet to tell him anything. All our information is secondhand or even thirdhand.

... yeah, I guess you're right.

Once we have a real, concrete understanding of what's happening to him, we can address how to tell him.

[ Andy leans over and kisses him. ]

Quick question. Would you be open to a threesome with Jopson?

I'm not at all sure your quick question has a quick answer!

I'm sure you're aware that I think him a very attractive man.

He's interested in watching so I thought you might be interested in showing.

I'll get flustered.

He'd like to be tied up for it.

It sounds as if you've already discussed it in detail.

I just asked! And when he said he was interested I came to ask you about it.

Well, I can't say I'm comfortable with the idea, but, nor am I opposed.

We can talk it out, see if we can get to something we're all comfortable with.

Alright, Andy. That sounds fine.

I love you ♥

♥ And I, you.

And I think you should rail me when you get home 👨‍❤️‍👨

Is this common parlance for a "twist" that involves trains? I don't think I'm familiar with the term.

it means 'fuck me very hard'

I see.
As you wish, of course.

Something about the way you text makes me want to rile you up.

You already have, Andy, I assure you.

You're very subtle about it.

Only through the concealing veil of text.

Does that mean I should call you?

I do love to hear your voice, but perhaps we'd better wait until I'm home for the rest of this conversation.

Understood.

[ When he does get home, he has a big bruise over one eyebrow with a tiny cut in the middle, because he got distracted while working due to Andy's texts and dropped a ladder on his head. ]

I'm home.

[ Andy walks to the door to kiss him, and when he sees the cut he brushes his fingertip over it. ]

What's this?

[ Fraser winces very slightly. In part because it's tender, but mostly because he's embarrassed. ]

Nothing.

Want me to take it?

... what if we split it?

Yeah, I can do that.

Thank you, Andy.

[ Andy kisses him, taking half of the cut as he does. ]

[ Fraser dips him back and kisses him very thoroughly, still worked up from his provocative texts. ]

[ Andy smiles into it. ]

I should actually sext you some time.

I might die. I mean, really, I concussed myself with a ladder because of our earlier discussion.

Really? You did?

I dropped a ladder on my head.

Oh darling, I'm sorry.

[ He is ridiculously pleased and kisses Ben again. ]

A less trusting person might think you were pleased.

Well, it's hard to read tone in text.

I meant right now.

Right now I'm pleased because I couldn't tell how much I was affecting you via text.

I did tell you.

But experiencing it is so much better.

[ That's fair, and Fraser kisses him again, so that he can experience it some more. ]

[ Andy kisses him back, dragging him by the lapels to the living room. ]

[ Fraser resists. ]

Bedroom—?

Or play room?

[ Their kid's been sleeping with them so... ]

That's what I meant.

[ Since they did usually sleep there before young Andy started sleeping over. ]

Yeah, let's go. Will I get railed?

Yes.

[ He's blushing, but he's smiling, too. ]

God, please.

[ Okay, he's gonna tug Ben to the play room instead. ]

[ Sometimes it feels like a mistake that they built it at the very top of the house. But it does mean Fraser gets to chase Andy up the stairs, which he loves. ]

[ By the time they're all the way upstairs Andy's laughing and easily caught. ]

[ Fraser kicks the door shut, bolts it, and then tackles Andy onto the bed. He might move them to the frame in a bit, but he just wants to hold Andy down and kiss him for a minute, here. ]

[ Andy kisses him back, very eager and already turned on. ]

Which way do you want to face?

I want to see you, but we have mirrors for that.

... I could be behind you, with a choke collar to keep your head up, so you don't miss seeing anything in the mirrors.

God, yes. Please.

On the bed, or somewhere firmer?

[ They have mats if Andy doesn't want to go for the floor, or Fraser can bend him over a hurdle. ]

Start out by bending me over something, we can move somewhere softer after.

[ Fraser nods and sits up on his knees, although he's really going to start by undressing Andy with focused efficiency. ]

God, you're so hot.

[ He's very cooperative, but he lets Ben do all the stripping. ]

Thank you.

[ Once Andy's entirely naked, Fraser stands up and offers both his hands so he can tug him up off the bed and propel him towards one of their leather-covered boulster things on the gym mats. He can drape Andy over it so that he's on his knees but can rest his head on his hands comfortably. ]

[ Andy's already hard as he drapes himself over the thing. He's giddy and eager. ]

No, thank you.

[ As eager as Fraser also is, he's filled with affection seeing Andy like this. He stops to just stroke light fingers down his spine, gentle but possessive. ]

I love being yours.

[ He's trying to be patient about this. ]

... did you prepare?

[ He's sure Andy did, but if he gets an affirmative, he's going to duck down without further warning and start rimming him. He just wants to make double sure he cleaned up first. ]

Yes, sir. I figured odds were high we'd do this.

[ It's unusual for Andy not to be at least a little ready for sex, but he's especially thorough when he knows almost for sure that it's happening.

He yelps when he feels Ben's tongue. ]

Ben!

Mhmmm...?

[ He can't really be more coherent than that under the circumstances. ]

Ben! Fuck!

[ He also can't be much more coherent. This escalated faster than he's used to. ]

[ Well, those sound like good noises. Fraser was a little worried Andy would be impatient with this, but since he seems to be enjoying it, Fraser is going to stay here for long moments, moaning in encouragement, eating Andy's ass like it's an absolute indulgence. ]

[ Andy is very impatient, but Ben has an incredibly talented tongue and he's learned how to enjoy pleasure without pain, so he just stays there, moaning, legs spread. ]

You'll make me cry.

[ Since this is an outcome devoutly to be wished for, Fraser answers by intensifying. ]

[ Andy moans again, more desperate this time. ]

[ After a few more long moments of this, Fraser steps away entirely and begins to undress himself with the same efficiency that he stripped Andy, standing to the side so that Andy can see him full length in the mirror. ]

[ Andy looks at the mirror as soon as Ben moves. He loves watching him. ]

You're gorgeous.

[ The compliment makes him blush, but he doesn't try to hide. He stands there and cups the base of his hard cock in his hand, stroking himself, showing off. ]

God, I've been a terrible influence. Please.

[ He's enthralled and very eager. ]

Terrible...? Really?

[ He turns around and walks to a chest of drawers to fetch lube. It might be more accurate to say that he saunters. He's definitely displaying his ass on purpose. It's one of his best features, after all. ]

[ Andy whines. ]

You're so hot, why are you so mean?

I'm not, I don't think. I'm about to do exactly what you want.

[ He's lubing himself up and getting lined up as he speaks. ]

Please, go hard.

[ He's shivering as he sees Ben walk closer. ]

As you wish.

[ He gets himself seated just enough that he won't slip, runs his hands down Andy's sides to grip his hips in a warm, smooth motion. Without further preamble, he starts to fuck Andy hard, not just snapping his hips forward, but tugging Andy back onto him with every thrust. ]

[ Andy rocks back against Ben, moaning loudly. After a couple of thrusts he reaches back with a hand to try to guide Ben's to his hair, though he's sloppy and he's having trouble speaking, so he can't ask. ]

[ Fraser gets it, though, twining one hand through Andy's hair and gripping it tight, yanking his head back. He forgot the collar—his acting collected a minute ago required full concentration—but next time, next time. For now he pulls Andy's hair as he fucks him. ]

[ That's fine, he doesn't need one now that his hair is long enough for Ben to get a good grip.

He keeps moaning, and keeps rocking back against him, urging him on as he feels himself closer to climax. ]

[ There's absolutely no way Ben is going to stop before Andy comes. He keeps up a relentless pace, hard and fast and almost unbelievably steady, keeping Andy's head cranked back. ]

[ Andy comes, moaning and shivering, but he makes an effort to keep rocking back against Ben, even after. ]

[ It doesn't take long for Fraser to come undone, his thrusts getting even faster and a little bit jerkier, panting harshly as he spills into Andy. ]

[ Andy stays bent over for a second, just giving himself a minute to catch his breath. ]

[ Fraser smooths his hair down and nuzzles the back of his neck. ]

Did that fit the definition of being railed?

Yes, perfectly. Thank you.

[ He turns his head. ]

Not against getting railed more.

Do you want me to use a, a... an accessory?

Do you mean a toy? Because I'd love it if you used many toys.

I could also use my hand. As much of it as is enjoyable.

[ But that's scary!! ]

God, do you wanna?

Yes.

[ He says it with intense sincerity, although his voice is soft. ]

[ Still scary but the way Ben says yes is also a huge turn-on. ]

Tie me up first.

Certainly, Andy.

[ It is really luxurious having all the gear they could want. He's going to help Andy up and take him over to a table that has stirrups so he can tie him up with his feet up and knees bent. ]

[ Ben always makes Andy a little nervous, but it's a lot more obvious today. He sits on the table and takes a few deep breaths before lying down. ]

[ Ben leans down for a kiss before he actually puts on the restraints. ]

I love you.

And I, you.

[ He straps Andy down securely and gives his thigh a squeeze. ]

Give me a colour.

Green, I'm just nervous.

We can stop any time you need to.

[ Which Andy knows perfectly well, but Fraser wants to say it. Anyway, he's starting slow, well within Andy's comfort zone especially after being fucked, slipping two well-lubed fingers into him and massaging his prostate in gentle circles. ]

Yes, sir.

[ Andy loves this part. On a normal day, he can lie back and let Ben finger fuck him for ages. He just lies back and closes his eyes and rides it, but that's when he's not expecting escalation. Knowing they're going further keeps a little ball of tension in the pit of his stomach.

Which isn't bad, a little fear is a turn-on. He knows he'll let Ben go further than anyone else because he's Ben. ]

[ After a few moments of this, he adds a third finger, but that's nothing new either. He spreads his fingers inside Andy, stretching him, but still mostly just doing all the stuff he knows Andy likes best. ]

You know me so well.

[ He doesn't think anyone knows him better by now. Not even Henry, back home. ]

I feel as if I'm learning more every day.

This is one of those things that might make me cry.

But that's a good thing, isn't it...?

Mmh, you'll know if I get the bad kind of scared.

[ He adds the fourth finger, keeping them clustered tightly together for the time being. ]

[ Andy tenses up, realizes he's doing it, and takes several deep breaths to make himself relax. ]

Are you? ... do you like this?

Yes.

[ Again, that low and fervent sincerity. ]

I... you trust me.

That was my follow-up question.

[ Why he likes it. Talking helps him stay relaxed. ]

It's a privilege. That... you'll try this with me. I love you.

[ He's slowly working his fingers in Andy as he talks. ]

I love you too. This is— it feels like a lot.

[ It is a lot, they never go beyond three fingers. ]

You're doing so well. Keep breathing.

[ Praise is such an immediate turn-on it makes him giggle. ]

God. Will you carry me to bed after? Make love to me?

I would like nothing more.

This would be too scary if it weren't you.

[ Fraser kisses warmly up the inside of Andy's thigh, still carefully working his fingers. ]

You're alright, my love. I've got you.

[ That gets a moan out of Andy. ]

You're unbelievable.

And you are a wonder.

[ He runs the fingers of his free hand lightly up the underside of Andy's cock. ]

[ He moans again, and he also lets out another nervous giggle. ]

I have such a crush on you.

Is that distinct from loving me?

[ He keeps up that counterpoint, soft warm kisses and caresses to take the edge of the tight stretch of all his fingers twisting carefully inside Andy. ]

Yeah, yeah, it's very different. A crush is this thrill, the butterflies, this kinda eagerness.

[ Andy's looking at him as he speaks, breathing heavily. He can't move a lot, strapped down as he is, but he's trying to stay relaxed and be still. ]

I feel the same way, you know.

It's a privilege.

[ He crooks his fingers, all together. ]

What is?

[ Andy moans, muscles twitching. ]

You. This.

Take a deep breath for me.

[ He's going to let Andy breathe in, and then slowly press his fingers in deeper as he exhales. ]

[ Andy breathes in deeply. Orders are good, praise is good, Ben's fingers are amazing. But this is very scary still. ]

That's it. That's perfect, Andy. I'm up to the second knuckle.

[ He pauses there to give Andy as much time as he needs to adjust, kissing his inner thigh again, petting his cock, just soft, sweet touches. ]

[ He can feel it, but Ben saying it makes it more real, somehow. The touches help, but he's still scared. ]

Ben.

[ He sounds close to tears, which is fine because he was expecting it. He also was expecting to be scared, so none of it is a surprise. ]

I've got you, sweetheart. Give me a colour.

Yellow?

[ He's very turned on also, just scared in a different way than what he's used to, so saying green wouldn't feel right. ]

Let's just stay here for a moment.

[ He's keeping his fingers inside Andy, but holding his hand still and focusing on reassuring kisses and caresses. ]

Does that sound alright?

Yeah. Yeah, here's good.

[ He'll break down, probably, but that's fine. He's never ashamed of having a little breakdown around Ben. ]

[ Ben laves his thumb lovingly over the head of Andy's cock. ]

How does it feel?

It's— it's a lot, Ben. Amazing but— it's I don't know.

[ He's not sure why it's so scary for him, so he can't explain it. ]

I love your hands.

I have to admit, Andy, it's really a thrill that you're letting me do something that makes you so nervous.

I don't know why I'm so freaked! I love it!

[ He's a little choked up now. ]

You don't have to rationalize it. It's alright.

It's scary. I don't know what I want.

[ Fraser slowly withdraws his hand most of the way, and when he presses back in it's just with three fingers. ]

That's alright, too.

... still want you to make love to me, though. Very sure of that.

[ He's a little sniffly, but much less tense. ]

Well, I always want to do that.

Want you to kiss me.

[ He immediately leans up to kiss him. ]

[ That's the last push he needs to break down properly, but it's the good kind of tears and he's kissing back hungrily. ]

[ Fraser slowly withdraws his fingers so that he can remove Andy's restraints while they kiss. He's very efficient about it considering the angle he's at and the fact that he can't look at what he's doing. ]

[ Andy wraps each freed limb around Ben as soon as he can, so they end up kissing while Andy's clinging desperately to him. ]

Sorry.

[ He has the whole thing rationalized, and he knows it's fine. But he feels a nagging guilt anyway. ]

I cannot imagine what for.

[ It's clearly time to scoop Andy up and carry him to bed. ]

[ Andy buries his face in Ben's neck and mumbles something unintelligible. ]

I'm afraid I didn't catch that.

[ It takes some doing, but he manages to get them both lying down on the bed without actually letting go of Andy. ]

This is my favorite place to be.

[ Clinging to Ben in bed. ]

[ For some reason, that makes a slightly wistful expression pass over Fraser's face, but he kisses Andy again with enthusiasm. ]

[ Yeah, that was not the smartest thing to say. But Andy kisses him back, he can feel guilty about it later. ]

[ It doesn't really seem to have dampened Fraser's mood at all. He combs his fingers through Andy's hair, massaging lightly at his scalp to make up for the hair-pulling before, his other hand smoothing down Andy's side to cup his ass. Holding him close and kissing him for another long moment before pressing their foreheads together. ]

I do love it, you know. Being here with you. When we're together, like this.

I know.

[ He's choked up again. It's not the same kind of choked up as before, this time he's trying to hold it back and his chest hurts from it. ]

I promise I know.

[ Andy doesn't have to be the favorite. He wouldn't want to be, Ben gives him so much as it is, this is good, he's happy. ]

... I've upset you.

No, no, it's not you. I'm okay.

[ He kisses him again, a little desperate. ]

I love you.

[ Maybe he can just hold Andy close and kiss him with fierce, claiming insistence, and things will be okay. ]

[ Yes, that's much better. Andy hugs him tighter, and starts rocking his hips to encourage him to move. ]

[ Fraser laughs softly against his lips when he feels that, pulling away just enough that he can get his cocked lined up and slide into Andy with a measured thrust. ]

There, much better.

[ He kisses Ben's nose, smiling. ]

Mmmh.

[ He hums in quiet agreement, cuddling Andy close, fucking him in slow, fluid motions so they never have to stop kissing. ]

[ They've established that talking is a mistake, so kissing and moaning is much preferable.

But he does trail a hand down to squeeze Ben's ass. ]

[ Which makes Fraser nip at his lips in loving revenge. ]

[ Andy tries to roll on top of Ben, playful. ]

[ He lets it happen, gazing up at Andy with undisguised adoration. ]

You have such a beautiful smile.

Years of orthodontics.

[ He bends down to kiss him. ]

[ It's tricky, because that makes Fraser burst out laughing. ]

[ Ben laughing makes Andy laugh too. ]

Don't laugh! I'm trying to be sexy!

[ This is a lie, he was absolutely aiming for funny. ]

Sorry.

[ He's not sorry, but he does roll his hips up, you know, to get things back on track? ]

[ Andy pushes himself up a little. It's smooth and easy because of all the prep before. ]

This is insane.

I beg your pardon...?

[ His voice is a distracted murmur. Andy feels too good for him to fully concentrate on talking. ]

[ He guides Ben's cock out of him, then slips back all the way in in a single, smooth movement, to illustrate his point. ]

Oh. Oh.

I see.

It's so new.

[ He does it again. ]

You're —ah, you're not in any pain?

I'll be sore tomorrow, but right now it doesn't hurt at all.

[ Ben laughs again, squeezing the tops of Andy's thighs and rutting up into him indulgently. ]

Oh, Andy.

You're so warm.

[ He stays there and bends down to kiss him. ]

[ There's nothing he wants to say to that more than he wants to kiss back, lingering and sweet. ]

[ Andy keeps moving while they kiss. He's not in a rush to come, so they can just do this for a minute. ]

[ Fraser is just luxuriating in the feeling of being close to Andy, inside and under Andy, hands roaming over his body as they kiss, rocking in a gentle, synchronous rhythm. ]

[ Andy loves all kinds of sex, but this, slow, unhurried, might be his favorite. He can just be here and enjoy every touch and kiss and commit it to memory. ]

[ With neither of them in any rush, these intimate moments stretch out into a kind of timelessness, a warm, continuous space where it feels like nothing can intrude until they choose to bring it to an end. ]

[ It's a long time, but Andy does eventually whisper 'make me come' ]

[ Instead of reaching to touch Andy's cock, Fraser just cants his hips so that he knows he's bucking up into Andy's prostate with every movement, and speeds up. ]

[ God, there's gotta be a way to ask Ben to do things that doesn't make him lose his mind, but he hasn't found it yet.

He moans with every thrust, and it's not long before he's coming hard, even without touching himself at all. ]

[ Ben doesn't come this time, but he almost looks as if he has, gazing up at Andy in dazed wonder, apparently sated anyway. ]

[ Andy kisses him and then rolls them over so Ben's back on top. ]

[ Ben trails his fingers between them, slicking his fingers up with Andy's cum, then licking them clean, moaning at the taste. ]

You're so hot.

[ He's enthralled. ]

Your current electrolyte levels are excellent, Andy. I commend you on your dedication to proper nutrition.

My— ?

[ He cracks up helplessly. ]

Don't— assess my health via cum! Ben!

[ Ben looks smugly pleased with himself. ]

You're the one who brought up orthodontics.

It's not remotely the same! God!

Ah. My mistake.

[ He's grinning shamelessly. ]

Can you actually tell?

Mhmm.

[ He pulls out and flops next to Andy, eyes still glittering with amusement. ]

How?

[ He rolls on his side to look at him. ]

I know you.

You know me by taste?

And smell, and touch, and sight, and sound.

Darling, you keep that up you'll make me cry again.

...

And I haven't made you come once.

[ That's not very fair :( ]

You have. When I had you over the hurdle.

Oh, yeah... I could suck you.

Do you want to?

Very badly, yeah.

[ In that case, he gently tugs Andy over him. ]

Andy straddles his knees, then bends down to take Ben's cock into his mouth.

[ That elicits a quiet gasp, and Ben's cock twitches, semi soft at this point, but stiffening again rapidly. ]

[ Andy takes Ben's dick with the same relish Ben licked his come. He's not teasing either, sucking hard from the get-go. ]

[ Ben groans and draws his knees up, toes curling in the sheets, and he reaches down to grip Andy's hair, not as hard as he was earlier, but still a solid grasp. Words have deserted him immediately. ]

[ The grip on his hair makes him moan. He wraps a hand around the base of Ben's cock and strokes him as he moves, not remotely aiming to edge him. ]

[ He shudders and twitches and whines—he's come once already and then been brought to a state of arousal and back down several times over the last hour, and now he's overstimulated enough to have reached a novel level of unsteadiness, a nervy, overwhelming, sharp-feeling excitement that finally overcomes him. He jerks his hips up helplessly, feeling as if he's flying apart as he comes. ]

[ Andy's hard again by the time Ben comes, not that he means to do anything about it, he's just happy. He swallows every drop and licks Ben's dick clean before pulling back. ]

Oh, God.

[ He kind of moans the words, still panting. ]

God, Andy.

I don't know about your diet, but you taste amazing.

[ He's crawling up on him and kissing him. ]

[ He wraps his arms around Andy and kisses back, a little shaky. ]

[ Andy kisses him back. ]

You okay?

More than.

Perfect.

[ They can just cuddle for a bit then. ]

Party tonight. Invite says it'll last 3 nights, but I'll prbably be back by tomorrow 😘

I hope you have a nice time. I'll miss you.

I'll miss you too. Take care of the kid ♥

Of course. That goes without saying.

[ Andy sends Ben a picture of himself all dressed up and wearing a wolf mask. And then he leaves.

But he's back home and sliding into bed less than an hour after the party was scheduled to start. ]

[ Fraser rolls over and sleepily opens his arms for Andy to cuddle up. ]

Hm...? What about the party...?

The leave consent at the door thing wasn't a poor taste tongue-in-cheek thing. They wanted me to sign a thing before going in, so I just came back.

[ He slides into bed and wraps both arms around him. ]

I'll go back in the morning, see if anyone needs company or a ride back to the Up.

...

[ Fraser opens his mouth, closes his mouth, and then just cuddles Andy closer and nods. ]

That's a good idea.

It's so fucking irresponsible. People are gonna get fucked up.

Do we know the host?

No, whoever set it up made sure his identity wasn't anywhere, and no one introduced themselves as a host or anything. I didn't realize it was an asshole move until I read the fucking form.

I see. Well! It certainly doesn't sound like much of a party, does it?

It's— man, I'm glad I have no idea of who's going, actually. I think I'm gonna like less any adult who attended.

Anyway, one of the superhero types made a network post about offering aftercare whenever that ends, I signed us up to host anyone who needed a chill place to stay in for a few nights.

That is more or less why we got this place, after all.

Mmh, I figured you'd be happy to. If I run into anyone mid-breakdown I might bring them over too. That party isn't gonna be big on aftercare.

I imagine most people will lean on those they're to whom they're closest, but if anyone seems to be lacking support, of course I want to help.

You know, a lot of people here don't actually have strong support nets like we do. Even people who've been here a while.

No, I know. "Closest" is a sliding scale.

And a lot of people are emotionally stunted, so even when they do have a support network they're like "I'd rather die than let someone I care about help me."

... well, I don't mean to be critical, Andy, but that seems— extreme.

It's a little hyperbolic but that's the line of thought.

Of course if someone wishes for a quiet place to regroup in relative anonymity, we can provide that, then.

I'll text you if I pick up anyone. I'm also gonna offer to book hotel rooms in the Down, I imagine that'll be the more popular option.

Ah, that's very thoughtful.

Do what you can, right?

Right.

[ He kisses Andy's forehead. ]

You know, I'd actually rather be here with you than at a 3-day BDSM orgy.

Well, I'm flattered, Andy. Truly.

I just thought I might make new friends.

I'm sure there will be other, more pleasant opportunities.

[It's later at night when Benton receives a text. All it is is a picture of her in a bikini laying on a couch.]

[ He's really very grateful she's not here to see him trip up the stairs and almost faceplant when he opens it. ]

Good evening, Faith.

Evening to you too, sexy.

[Maybe she can't see him, but she'd certainly been hoping to elicit a reaction.]

How you been? How's Canada?

Unchanged. Would you like to come see? It would certainly be better for your presence.

Thought you'd never ask. ;)

I'll be right over, just finishing up at work.

Have you eaten?

I had a late lunch, but yeah. I could eat.

[It's rare that she'd turn down food in any case.]

We've got chicken cacciatore, if that's alright.

More than alright.
I'm not that picky.
Mostly just wanted to see you.

I'm looking forward to seeing you, too.

[It takes a little bit of time for her to get there, as she's coming from the Down but she gets there as quickly as she can. She's not wearing the bikini in the picture, unfortunately, as it would have been fun to watch him sputter in person, but instead her usual attire-- tight jeans and a low-cut tank top.

She gives the door a knock and waits.]

[ Fraser opens the door almost instantly, stepping aside and holding it for her like a doorman. ]

Faith, welcome.

Were you just waiting there by the door?

[She teases with how quickly the door had swung open and he appeared to greet her. Faith quickly steps inside and the moment the door closes she'll tug him into a forceful kiss.]

Yes. I didn't want to— [ Oh. He's cut off by the kiss, and pulls her into his arms to reciprocate. ]

[It takes a minute before Faith lets them come back up for air, as her mouth attacks his further when he starts to reciprocate. Finally, she does relent peering up at him with a cheeky grin.]

You didn't want to what?

... oh. To keep you waiting on the doorstep.

[ He mumbles it a bit bashfully, now with a dopey smile on his face. ]

Ah. Well, if you had kept me waiting too long I might have broken down the door.

[She tugs playfully at his shirt from her spot pressed up against him. Faith hated that she had to wait until they were in the privacy of his home to show affection like this. So when she had the opportunity she lept at it.]

So you avoid the latest craziness? No getting stuck to anyone? Switching bodies? [Faith made a face at that.] I got stuck as Buffy for a few days. Kind laid low during all that.

[With her and Buffy's history with body swapping it was all kind of awkward.]

I was able to avoid it, thankfully.

[ Wow, though. He winces when she describes that, immediately recognizing just how fucking awkward that is. He's keeping an arm around her and guiding them towards the couch as they talk. ]

... were you able to talk to her at all?

A little. [She walks with him, leaning into him until they settle on the couch and she curls up right beside him, curling her feet underneath her.] She didn't try and punch my teeth in either... so I don't know, maybe we can be okay again.

[It wouldn't be the same, of course. It couldn't be.]

[ Fraser tugs her close enough that she can lean kind of half on his lap. ]

That's encouraging. Especially under the circumstances.

[She sinks into him at his encouragement, comforted by his warmth.]

Yeah. I kind of expected she wouldn't want anything to do with me. Had kind of resigned myself to that. And luckily I have people here. So I wouldn't feel alone when that happened. Like you. [She smiles up at him giving him a playful boop on the nose.]

[ He catches her hand and kisses her fingers. ]

I'm glad.

[Her eyes grow darker with each kiss of her fingers, lips parting suggestively as she watches.]

I know you said something about dinner... but we could always skip right to dessert?

[ He looks up at her, eager, voice low. ]

Oh, yes.

[ There's a slight pause. ]

—er, by "dessert" you do mean...?

I mean... [Faith leans in, pulling her hand away from his lips, her own brushing close, whispering against them.]

I want you to fuck me, Ben.

[ That's what he was asking, and upon receiving confirmation, he simply sweeps her up into his arms and heads upstairs to the unoccupied guest room. He's tongue-tied and blushing, but his movements are sure and steady. ]

[Faith lets out a little shocked laughter and Benton pulls her up into his arms, but can't deny that it does feel nice to be carried. It's actually pretty hot actually. As he goes up the stairs, Faith presses her lips over his flushed skin, even playfully biting him, dragging along his collarbone.

She leans closer before they make their way into the bedroom, whispering into his ear before capturing the lobe between teeth.]

You should carry me around more often. It's making me wet.

[ He has to pause for a second to stand still and shudder at that, eyes closing involuntarily, before he keeps going towards the bedroom door. ]

I'll—absolutely keep that in mind.

You do that... [Faith hums against his neck, warmth spreading through her in seeing his reaction to that. She enjoyed knowing the kind of effect she could have on him.]

Mmh.

[ Once he has himself even slightly under control, enough to make his legs work again, he steps in and kicks the door shut behind them, then sets Faith down on the bed and climbs over her, leaning down to kiss her immediately. ]

[As he crawls on top of her and moves to kiss her, she arches up to meet him, hands clutching the sides of his face. Her tongue slides eagerly into his mouth. It takes a while for her to finally come back up for air.]

Been thinking about you all day. I missed you. [She missed doing this with him. Sure, she saw him around in town, but there was so much she couldn't act on out there where anyone could see.]

And I, you.

[ He kisses her again, insatiable. ]

[She groans into his mouth, hands dragging down his back and tugging at his shirt, aiming to get it up and over his head.]

[ All he's wearing is a T-shirt, which is unusual for him—usually he only wears those as undershirts—so she peels it off him and finds skin instead of more layers of clothes. He sits up to chuck it off the bed and then, now that he has space, goes for her shirt in turn. ]

[She lifts her hands over her head so he can get off her tank top revealing a black lace bra underneath, Faith sits up so that she can reach the hooks at her back and get that off too, tossing it aside.

Already starting in on her pants and underwear to shimmy them off, her eyes don't leave him for a second.]

Faith.

[ Her name on his lips is a paean. It demands no response, but the way he says it, the way he looks at her when he says it, speaks volumes of admiration and amazement.

His hands are hovering close to her, not wanting to get in her way as she undresses, but unwilling to go too far away. ]

[Her name on his lips, makes her shiver, and her cheeks flush at the way he's looking down at her. Benton has a way of making her beautiful in ways no one else could. She knows she's hot, but the reverence is different than anything she's ever experienced.

Getting the rest of her clothes off, she leans up to kiss him, mumbling against his lips.] I love you.

And I you.

[ He walks his fingers down the centre of her chest, between her breasts, teasingly slow. ]

[She holds back a giggle as his fingers move over her skin, trying to keep it back. Her skin is flush, heat rising.]

That tickles... [Faith doesn't seem to mind though, leaning back and letting him do his wandering, curious if that hand had a planned destination or not.]

Sorry.

[ Although he doesn't sound particularly sorry, he stops that and squeezes the top of her thigh in another, silent apology before sliding his index finger in a gentle circle around her clit. ]

Hopefully, you're about to make it up to m-- [She's cut off by a sharp moan as he teases around her clit, shuddering a bit and her legs spreading wider, eager.]

That's... that's a good start.

[ Encouraged, he pauses to pop his finger in his mouth for a second, so that when he resumes teasing her, he can glide easily over her skin, working in quick little circles. ]

[She's already pretty wet, but each circle of his fingers makes her even more aroused, shivering as he finds a particularly sensitive spot, eyes fluttering shut.]

Fraser... [Faith breaths out, almost pleading.]

Faith.

[ His smile is smug as hell, but his voice, while composed, is somehow also pleading. ]

Command me.

[That makes her laugh again, husky. Faith's all too happy to take charge, as he's well aware. Smirking she spreads her legs a bit wider.]

Make me cum with your mouth and then kiss me when you're done. I want to taste myself on your tongue.

if someone says someone they knew did something kinda sketch to them
but that they're fine and it's all good

should i be worried 'cause it's sketch
or is this city influential enough that it might be true
and nothing's sketch at all

I want to make sure I have your question really clear in my mind before I try to answer it.
Are you asking if the city can influence people to behave in a way that they normally wouldn't, and treat people they care about in a way they normally wouldn't?

Yeah, I mean
I know it probably CAN

but is that what I should expect by default when someone's like
"nooo they're not like this normally"
cause like
idk

I don't wanna be like here's the hotline for domestic violence but that's like what always comes into my head

It's something that has made me act radically out of character before.
However, I'd still be inclined to take it on a case by case basis. There are those who might use the excuse of the city's influence to get away with abusive behaviour when the only influence they are actually under is their own.
On the other hand, I can tell you from personal experience that its influence can be simultaneously insidious and extreme.
I think the best you can do is evaluate based on what you know about the individuals in question.

They haven't told me much about the other person but um
they used the word "abduct"
so...

Did your friend tell you how their abductor responded after the influence wore off?

still talking but um, i'll ask

i'm hoping it's better now

Well, I know it's not much of an answer, but I would say that you shouldn't jump to a conclusion one way or another until you know more.

Edited 2022-08-29 00:50 (UTC)

thanks

I knew you'd have like, good advice so I'm glad I reached out before I went too hard either way

Perhaps you can remind your friend that, even if they don't hold their abductor responsible for their actions because of the city's influence, they can still prioritize their own safety and well-being. They don't have to blame the other person to decide to create some distance, especially if this is the way that other person tends to behave when pushed to the extremes of their temperament.

that's a good idea

and like, is it my business to encourage them to talk it through if they haven't?
idk what's overstepping and what's not

I think you can encourage them, but let them know you recognize it's their choice and tell them you can let the matter rest if that's what they need from you as a friend.

This city's so weird
I hope weird stuff doesn't happen to us any time soon

That would be nice.

Sorry in advance if I ever act weird or mean or anything

[Ironic, since he's meaning because of the city when it might be more in line with being because of the whole possession thing.]

Forgiven in advance. And, likewise.

Hello, my name is Mrs. Maisel, and I'm calling you because a Mr. Wade Wilson listed you as a reference for my quota form. Could I trouble you to answer a few questions about Mr. Wilson?

[ There's a pause while Fraser unscrambles his brain after mentally keysmashing at that introduction. ]

Hello, Mrs. Maisel. You've reached Benton Fraser. I, ah. Certainly? Please, ask away?

Thank you, Mr. Fraser. Mr. Wilson has boasted of a quite impressive sexual prowess, but I have to say mostly I'm just trying to make sure he's not a murder you in your sleep, or maybe not even wait that long type. A gal can't be too careful.

I.

Ah. Hm! I see. Yes. No. No, I'm quite confident you have nothing to fear on that front. You'll be quite safe.

Wonderful. Thank you. I have to say, Mr. Wilson's references are really coming through for him. He's not paying you, is he? I kid. This is very helpful.

Not only is he not paying me, he didn't even warn me.

Oh dear. Well, I hope it wasn't too much of a shock. I won't take up any more of your time. You've been very gracious under the circumstances.

I'm glad to have been able to help.

I need a giant mushroom.

What kind of size are we talking about, here? Does it need to be an actual fungus?

Cardboard mushroom. House size, for background scenery.

I can put that together for you.

Thanks. I'm info-gathering, but I should have an idea of what else we'll need later today.

Send me a list of materials to bring home.

Way too much cardboard. Way too much paint that works well on cardboard???

Certainly. Let me know if there's anything else.

Uuuh, rope. Both cotton and hemp. 8mm for the hemp one.

Idk how much we'll need. There's some interest in shibari, the hemp's in case anyone wants to do suspension.

Understood. I'll err on the side of generosity.

Thank you dear ♥

Of course. Anything I can do.

This is a lot bigger than I expected.

It does seem that you've struck upon an idea that resonates with people.

That's so much kinder than "y'all are so horny" 🤣

Well, both are true.

Would you believe me if I told you I'm not? Exhibitionism isn't actually my kink.

But you don't mind it...?

I don't mind teaching and I'm not shy. I think hanging out with Harley and Wade will be fun.

As long as you're not doing something that will make you unhappy.

Not at all. I'm actually really happy with how it's shaping up.

Also, I asked Strange to attend just in case anything got out of hand.

That does make me feel better.

He's a squishy guy deep down.

Squishy?

Yeah. Like... he acts like he doesn't care or like things don't bother him, but deep down he's a carebear.

Oh. Yes, I know. He may be brusque in conversation, but his actions show his nature.

Exactly! He's squishy.

And it's not pejorative in any way? It doesn't carry a connotation of weakness?

I wouldn't say it does, but I think someone like Strange would probably object to the term. But I mean, he'd also probably object to being called caring or kind or gentle, so.

I see what you mean.

He might let us get away with it bc he likes us though.

Personally, I'm not planning to test that.

Wanna spend the afternoon drawing cardboard scenery with me?

Absolutely.

I can set us up in the sun room.

I'll be home in an hour with the supplies.

I'll be waiting ♥

[ He's right on time, as always, and has brought all the stuff Andy wants. He heads right up to the sun room. ]

Hi.

[ Andy walks over and kisses him. ]

Thanks baby.

... baby?

[ He accepts the kiss, but bleh. ]

Sorry, sorry, it's built-in.

I appreciate the sentiment, I just... well, you understand.

I know, I just slipped.

[ Andy gets another kiss for being a good boyfriend. ]

I love you.

I love you, too. Should we get started?

Yeah. I need a mushroom and a classroom.

Perhaps we should do a few concept sketches, first of all.

The mushroom has to be bad, so I can do that without a sketch.

Shall I mock something up for the classroom, then?

Yes please.

Right you are.

[ He's going to do a quick little pencil sketch of a classic chalk board and rows of desks style classroom. ]

Something like that?

Yeah, that's perfect.

[ Meanwhile he's grabbing cardboard to sketch out a very ugly mushroom on it. ]

[ Now Fraser will proceed to make an absurdly realistic set-piece of a classroom, entirely out of cardboard. ]

You should know, these desks absolutely won't have any structural integrity whatsoever, so you'd better put in at least one piece of real furniture if you intend to sit on them.

I'm getting real desks.

[ He's distracted from his ugly mushroom by how good Ben is at this. ]

I'm not sure I'm into the whole teacher and student vibe, but I'm sure the witches will make it fun.

I can sort of see the appeal, myself.

You can? Tell me more.

Oh, well... obviously I don't think it's particularly ethical in real life, for a teacher to act on an attraction to a student, simply because of the power differential, as a general rule, at least, but... you know. I can understand the attraction. From either perspective, really, but especially as a student... an authority figure, a trusted mentor, an expert on a subject that I, myself, had a deep interest in and wanted to learn more about... there's plenty to be attracted to, in a teacher.

Do you think you'd be into it in practice? As roleplay?

I'd feel silly.

[ That's not a no. ]

Maybe it'd work better if there's something for me to teach you.

It might. You're a good teacher. I certainly noticed the appeal when I watched you at the spanking demonstration. And... well. When you've guided me through, ah—anything bendy.

Yeah? I figured you were trying not to pay attention.

I was, but I couldn't help noticing anyway.

Both volunteers were really new at it.

What are you going to teach me next?

What do you wanna learn?

Oh, you choose.

We could try toys, we haven't done a lot of that.

Alright, Andy. That sounds like fun.

I'm a little worried it'll make you more ammo, though.

Is that a problem?

You're already terrifying. I don't know if I can deal with more.

I have faith in you, Andy.

See?! That's a threatening aura right there.

[ He says that but he's laughing. ]

Yes, but you like it, don't you?

Yeah, it gives me butterflies.

Well, then, I'm afraid I don't see the difficulty.

It's very hard to function with butterflies, you know?

I'm familiar with the experience, yes.

I can't focus on my mushroom.

I thought you wanted it to be bad, anyway.

Are you teasing me?

A little. Yes.

I can't believe you're being mean to me when I have a full week of work ahead of me.

It was meant to be encouraging.

To make me draw a very ugly mushroom?

[ It IS very ugly. ]

More generally.

Can you elaborate please?

I just thought we were having a bit of fun, and that might be encouraging. Isn't it generally more motivating to work on a project when you're having fun with a friend?

Oh, yeah, yeah, you're absolutely right.

But I'm horny now. For the record.

I don't mean to be critical, Andy, but some might have called that an inevitability.

[ Andy cracks up helplessly. ]

Your fault!

I could put a paper bag over my head, if it would help.

It would not, I'd just focus on your arms instead.

I could wear a parka.

Or you could fuck me. That's also an option.

We have all this scenery to finish.

We could take a break.

Shouldn't we try to get some work done, first?

Will you keep teasing me while we work?

No, no, I'll stop.

Wait, no, I want you to!

Oh. Then... yes?

Maybe sex when we're done?

I'd like that very much.

Okay.

[ He's gonna finish this mushroom as fast as possible. ]

[ Fraser is taking more care with the classroom, but he works at a ridiculous speed anyway. ]

[ Andy's painting his mushroom very quickly. ]

See, it has motivated you.

Yeah, yeah, you're very motivating.

Thank you kindly.

I'm almost done.

[ it looks like someone drawn by a 5 year old, and he still has to cut it out and add supports so it can stand up, but it's probably better to wait until the paint's dry. ]

I've got a little more to do, but perhaps you can help once you've finished.

[ He sets his mushroom to dry and then walks over to help Ben out. ]

What do you need me to do?

Could you just do that big square area with white primer?

Yes, yes, I can do the very easy tasks.

[ He grabs the primer and starts working on the square. ]

Thank you kindly.

I should be thanking you.

It's really the least I can do.

Is it?

Well, since I won't be participating.

You don't have to participate. I got a ton of volunteers.

I know.

It's probably better that you're not anyway.

Why do you say that?

I don't think I could lead the show at all if you were. I'd get too distracted.

Really...?

Yeah, absolutely. I wouldn't be able to take my eyes off you.

[ He puts down his brush and leans over to kiss Andy. ]

[ Andy leans into it immediately. ]

I did think of... things, we could do, you know?

Did you...?

Yeah. Things I thought you might be okay with?

For example?

Stringing me up and using me as a canvas. Figured it'd be sexy and light enough for what I have in mind.

And I could get myself off once you were done.

... I'd paint you? On you?

Yeah. I'd love that.

I mean, at some point. It doesn't have to be in public.

... we do have all this paint.

I don't think it's body safe.

Oh. No, no, you're right of course.

[ Is he pouting?? ]

... but maybe if I washed it off right after...

No, no, we should get proper supplies.

[ Now it's Andy pouting. ]

But the paint is right there.

But if we get edible paint—

[ I can lick it off, he doesn't say, but his ears glowing bright red might say it for him. ]

Oh!

Yeah, yeah.

[ He gets up. ]

Let's go.

[ Fraser heads for the stairs, just as eager. ]

[ Andy takes Ben's hand as they head downstairs. ]

You drive.

[ Because Andy drives faster. ]

Yeah, of course.

[ He's in a hurry. ]

[ Fraser is grinning like an idiot. ]

[ Andy can drive both fast and carefully. He doesn't want to crash, but he really wants to get to the store. ]

What colours?

[ He wants to be able to grab the supplies as efficiently as possible. ]

Up to the artist.

Hmmmm.

[ Okay, he's thinking about it. ]

The canvas would like the artist to know that he's very impatient.

The artist would like the canvas to focus on finding parking.

I can leave you at the door and then circle the lot.

Alright.

Perfect.

[ That's the fastest option so he's doing that. ]

[ Fraser is going to finish his shopping as fast as humanly possible. ]

[ Andy circles back just in time for Ben to hope back on. ]

[ He drops the bag in the footwell and buckles up. ]

[ Andy doesn't waste any time driving back. He's borderline reckless, but there isn't much traffic so it's not unsafe. ]

Andy, that was a stop sign.

Was it? Must've missed it.

That was another one.

Oops.

Hey uh this is sorta random I guess but uh
I really like Andy Jr
He's a real good kid
I'm glad you guys took him on

I'm glad you think so. I knew you'd like him.

Yeah, we're getting along real well
Jokin around and stuff
He likes hearin about our adventures

Oh, dear.
What have you been telling him?

Only the good stuff
He thought it was cool we went against pirates

Did you tell him that the pirates were pretending to be ghosts?

Of course I did
He loved that
I told him not to get any bright ideas

I know this probably wasn't what you had in mind when you mentioned that you wanted kids, but it's nice that you're enjoying each other's company.

It's not what I was expecting, no
But god if I don't love him already

He's extraordinarily easy to love.

He really really is
And the boyfriend seems nice
Ky?

Dief likes him.

Well that's the best approval you can get
I bet Dief's happy to have a wolf buddy around

Yes. I was a bit worried he'd get competitive, but he seems to have taken on a sort of elder-brother role instead.

I love that
I love our family, Frase
When we were --
When everything went down
All I could think was getting home and getting everyone safe again

I love what we have, here
I love curling up with you and Andy every night in bed
I love reaching across Andy and being able to find you there

I know, Ray.
I felt the same.
I feel the same.

This place is fucked up
But we've got some good stuff going, you know?

I believe that I do know, yes. We're very fortunate in many respects.
The fact that we're here together again not least among them.

I'm glad to be back together, too

I was kinda worried at first
Like I was intruding on things
But both Andrewses seem happy to have me around

You can't intrude where you're welcome, Ray.

Greetings, Benton Fraser! My name is Count von Krolock, but you are welcome to call me Georg.
I heard you own a carpentry business, Urban Nesting?
I require your services, but I will tell you now it is an odd request.

Greetings, Georg. That's correct. Could you provide me with some further details?

I am a vampire, you see. And I am in need of a coffin. An acquaintance of mine, Father Ortega, recommended you to me.

Although I don't have any specific experience with constructing coffins, I'm sure I can manage something. I suppose we should begin by meeting to take measurements.

I suppose you could think of it as a very specific sort of cabinet, if that helps you envision it.

Measurements! Of course. It will need to fit me, obviously. Large enough to be comfortable but small enough to be secure.

Do you have a preference of materials?

A sturdy wood, I would think.
I thank you, as well, for not judging my request. The acceptance and open-mindedness is much appreciated.

Please think nothing of it. I could hardly judge you badly for a polite request to patronize my business in order to fulfill your domestic requirements when they're not hurting anyone.

There are some who would refuse me business, on account of my being a vampire, I am fairly certain. But thus far I've found the members of this city to be, generally speaking, very kind and accepting of my... shall we say "condition"?

If that's how you prefer to think of it, certainly. In any case, I'm glad you haven't met with such prejudice here.

What nights work best for you, for our appointment?
I don't want to inconvenience you at all, of course.

How late do you stay up? I'm usually out of the house around 4:30am, so I could easily meet around 5am most days, but I wouldn't want to keep you up.

That feels uncomfortably close to sunrise.
Would you be willing to stay open past sunset? I would pay extra for the privilege, of course.

Oh, there's no need. Sunset comes early these days, after all. In that case, what's the earliest in the evening that you would find convenient?

An hour after sunset, perhaps? If that is convenient for you, of course.

That would be fine. Can you come by my office?

I would be more than happy to do so. And thank you, in advance, for your help.

You're very welcome.

IC Contact - Duplicity

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