IC Contact - Duplicity

[understood]

username: Cst.B.Fraser

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[scarrystories]

It wouldn't, it'd be like kicking a puppy.

[understood]

Is there something else that would make you feel better?

[scarrystories]

I'm fine. I'm glad you're safe.

[understood]

The question stands.

[scarrystories]

I really don't know.

[understood]

[ Fraser leans his head against Andy's, still just holding him. ]

You can tell me if I'm being overbearing. It's just that you seem to think you need to deal with your feelings around me without involving me. And... while you have the perfect right to do so, it's... we live together, we're intimate with each other, and I care for you deeply. So I don't want you to feel that you have to spare me, out of a misplaced sense of duty.

[scarrystories]

[ He's quiet for a while, trying to get his own thoughts organized. ]

I'm not used to having this many feelings.

[understood]

I understand.

[scarrystories]

It'd be nice to have a dial.

[understood]

There's meditation.

[scarrystories]

If I had the head for meditation I wouldn't be neck deep into BDSM.

[understood]

[ He gives a slightly strangled laugh. ]

My mistake.

[scarrystories]

It's really rude of you to laugh at my emotional issues, Ben.

[ He's kidding, and he's back to Ben, so clearly he's feeling better. ]

[understood]

Sorry.

[ He apologises reflexively anyway, but he's smiling. ]

[scarrystories]

It feels like I'm quickly approaching some massive meltdown and I'd really rather not.

[understood]

Tell me what's troubling you.

[ He's not entirely aware that he's phrased it as an order. ]

[scarrystories]

[ Andy is very aware it was phrased as an order, and also very aware of his own urge to obey it. ]

On what level? Because I have many layers of troubles.

[understood]

Well, what do you feel is leading up to a meltdown?

[scarrystories]

There's always something, isn't there? An explosion, or flooding, or that fucking camp. And it's not going to stop.

[understood]

That's very likely to be true.

[scarrystories]

I don't have the emotional fortitude to deal with bi-weekly crises while caring about people.

[understood]

You know, I don't usually say this, but I think you maybe holding yourself to too high a standard.

[scarrystories]

I don't think wanting to keep my shit together is a high standard.

[understood]

It's alright to need an outlet for your feelings.

[scarrystories]

You're saying I should get tied up more often?