IC Contact - Duplicity

[understood]

username: Cst.B.Fraser

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[understood]

I'll certainly do my best to notify you in the future if I'm going to be late. I could have contacted you from a co-worker's device.

[scarrystories]

But that's not addressing the actual problem, which is me being a paranoid asshole.

[understood]

That's not what you're doing.

[ He catches Andy's wrists and gently guides his hands away from his face. ]

Andy, look at me.

[scarrystories]

[ God fine, Andy looks at him. ]

I'm sorry, you don't have to comfort me, I'll work it out.

[ Look at him being clear and reasonable and totally not a guy who had some kind of panic attack not fifteen minutes ago. ]

[understood]

[ Fraser holds his hands, steady, measured and inexorable as always. ]

You're my friend and my lover, and I frightened you.

[scarrystories]

[ Fraser is making it really hard to stay collected. ]

I really don't think you frightened me. You didn't do anything.

[understood]

My absence frightened you, then. That being the case, I'd like to be here for you now.

[ He isn't letting go of Andy's hands. ]

[scarrystories]

This would be a lot easier if you'd just acknowledge I'm being dumb and need to get over myself.

[understood]

I'm afraid I can't do that. There's a tiger on the loose, and I drowned last month. Perhaps you were jumping to conclusions, but I think it's understandable, considering the circumstances.

[scarrystories]

Ugh, this sucks.

[ 8-( ]

[understood]

Sorry.

[ Slowly, giving Andy time to pull away, Fraser gathers him into his lap. ]

[scarrystories]

[ No, it's fine, he's gonna let this happen. This is probably the less immature option. ]

I don't want to be on edge all the time.

[understood]

That seems like something you can work on.

[ But for now, cuddles. ]

[scarrystories]

I can't be mean to you even when I want to be.

[ This is nice, though, very comforting. ]

[understood]

You could try, if it would make you feel better.

[scarrystories]

It wouldn't, it'd be like kicking a puppy.

[understood]

Is there something else that would make you feel better?

[scarrystories]

I'm fine. I'm glad you're safe.

[understood]

The question stands.

[scarrystories]

I really don't know.

[understood]

[ Fraser leans his head against Andy's, still just holding him. ]

You can tell me if I'm being overbearing. It's just that you seem to think you need to deal with your feelings around me without involving me. And... while you have the perfect right to do so, it's... we live together, we're intimate with each other, and I care for you deeply. So I don't want you to feel that you have to spare me, out of a misplaced sense of duty.

[scarrystories]

[ He's quiet for a while, trying to get his own thoughts organized. ]

I'm not used to having this many feelings.

[understood]

I understand.

[scarrystories]

It'd be nice to have a dial.

[understood]

There's meditation.