IC Contact - Duplicity

[understood]

username: Cst.B.Fraser

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[scarrystories]

[ He's quiet for a while, trying to get his own thoughts organized. ]

I'm not used to having this many feelings.

[understood]

I understand.

[scarrystories]

It'd be nice to have a dial.

[understood]

There's meditation.

[scarrystories]

If I had the head for meditation I wouldn't be neck deep into BDSM.

[understood]

[ He gives a slightly strangled laugh. ]

My mistake.

[scarrystories]

It's really rude of you to laugh at my emotional issues, Ben.

[ He's kidding, and he's back to Ben, so clearly he's feeling better. ]

[understood]

Sorry.

[ He apologises reflexively anyway, but he's smiling. ]

[scarrystories]

It feels like I'm quickly approaching some massive meltdown and I'd really rather not.

[understood]

Tell me what's troubling you.

[ He's not entirely aware that he's phrased it as an order. ]

[scarrystories]

[ Andy is very aware it was phrased as an order, and also very aware of his own urge to obey it. ]

On what level? Because I have many layers of troubles.

[understood]

Well, what do you feel is leading up to a meltdown?

[scarrystories]

There's always something, isn't there? An explosion, or flooding, or that fucking camp. And it's not going to stop.

[understood]

That's very likely to be true.

[scarrystories]

I don't have the emotional fortitude to deal with bi-weekly crises while caring about people.

[understood]

You know, I don't usually say this, but I think you maybe holding yourself to too high a standard.

[scarrystories]

I don't think wanting to keep my shit together is a high standard.

[understood]

It's alright to need an outlet for your feelings.

[scarrystories]

You're saying I should get tied up more often?

[understood]

[ Fraser considers this, then leans in and murmurs softly in Andy's ear. ]

If you'd like, we can try that.

[scarrystories]

[ He huffs out a breathless laugh, finally feeling more like himself. ]

I've been such a bad influence on you.

[understood]

I disagree.

[scarrystories]

You were so polite.

[understood]

Has that changed?

[scarrystories]

You're a threat now.