IC Contact - Duplicity

[understood]

username: Cst.B.Fraser

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[scarrystories]

I'm sorry you're being haunted.

[understood]

Thanks, Andy.

[ There's a pause. ]

... will you think very badly of me if I don't come home tonight?

[scarrystories]

Of course not. Do what you need to.

[ He'll think badly of himself, but that's fine. ]

[understood]

I'm not upset with you anymore, I just—

[scarrystories]

You need a minute. I understand.

[understood]

You don't.

I'm sorry, Andy, but you don't. You're so focused on what we did wrong in the scenario, I don't think you realize you brushed right past the fact that my friend died right in front of me. When I said there was a bomber—

—I saw him. I saw him heading away from the car. I knew there was something wrong. I didn't know what. I tried to stop Louis from opening the door. I was only halfway across the street from him, yelling his name, but he didn't hear me. I was barely ten feet away when the whole thing went up in flames. I had to hold his partner back from throwing himself into the fireball in a futile attempt to save him, knowing it was too late, because I had been too late. I was a pallbearer at his funeral. We played cards together. He wanted to retire and become a comedian. You didn't let me tell you any of that.

[scarrystories]

[ Holy shit. There's an audible gasp, and then he's very quiet for a second. ]

I'm so sorry Ben.

[understood]

It's all right. As I said, I'm not upset with you anymore. It's just that I think I would like to take the night to mourn the loss of my friend without feeling the need to defend his memory.

[scarrystories]

Okay. I'll be here.

[understood]

Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow...?

[scarrystories]

Yeah, I'll make banana pancakes.

[understood]

That sounds great.

... goodnight, then. I love you.

[scarrystories]

Love you too.

[ Time to lie awake all night with the weight of my sins. ]

[understood]

[ What Fraser intends to do is eat pigs in a blanket in honour of Louis, toast his memory with a non alcoholic beverage, go to bed at a reasonable hour, and head home around when Andy normally wakes up.

What actually happens is that he orders pigs in a blanket and then only has the appetite for one bite, because he is sad. He packs the rest up for later, toasts Louis, and falls asleep with his clothes on before the sun has even fully set. After a nap, he ends up going for a long night time walk, until around 4am he realizes he's back at the driveway of the Canadian Consulate. So he tries to sneak up to bed with Andy without waking anyone. ]

[scarrystories]

[ Andy's in the living room, reading, because the idea of sleeping in an empty bed makes him queasy.

He spends the afternoon going through every stage of grief, which is ridiculous because he only said one stupid, thoughtless thing, and he alternates between flipping the pages forward and then back again, since he's not actually absorbing any of the words. ]

[understood]

[ Fraser stops short in surprise to see Andy still downstairs and awake. ]

Andy, are you alright? Is— did something happen to the lad?

[scarrystories]

[ He's not expecting for Ben to be home before morning, so he sits up, startled, maybe a little guilty, like a kid caught up past bedtime. ]

No, no, Andy's fine— the lad?

[understood]

[ Technically it's morning. But only technically. ]

Oh, good. But why are you— well, he is a lad. Dear God, I'm starting to sound like my father.

[scarrystories]

I couldn't sleep. Which is a hundred percent on me... you okay?

[ He's walking over to give him a hug, but he hesitates, not sure if Ben wants a hug. ]

[understood]

[ Fraser pulls him the rest of the way forward and wraps his arms around him. ]

I'm fine. Are you hungry...? I brought some pigs in a blanket.

[scarrystories]

[ Give him a moment to hug Ben very tightly first. ]

[understood]

[ Oh. Yeah, okay. The initial chaos fades enough for Fraser to take in Andy's distress, and he immediately shuts up and holds him closer when he realizes. ]

[scarrystories]

I'm okay, it's fine, I promise.

[understood]

Okay.

[ He's not going to stop hugging him. ]

[scarrystories]

[ He presses his face against Ben's shoulder and makes a childish, whiny noise. ]