I'm sorry, Andy, but you don't. You're so focused on what we did wrong in the scenario, I don't think you realize you brushed right past the fact that my friend died right in front of me. When I said there was a bomber—
—I saw him. I saw him heading away from the car. I knew there was something wrong. I didn't know what. I tried to stop Louis from opening the door. I was only halfway across the street from him, yelling his name, but he didn't hear me. I was barely ten feet away when the whole thing went up in flames. I had to hold his partner back from throwing himself into the fireball in a futile attempt to save him, knowing it was too late, because I had been too late. I was a pallbearer at his funeral. We played cards together. He wanted to retire and become a comedian. You didn't let me tell you any of that.
It's all right. As I said, I'm not upset with you anymore. It's just that I think I would like to take the night to mourn the loss of my friend without feeling the need to defend his memory.
[ What Fraser intends to do is eat pigs in a blanket in honour of Louis, toast his memory with a non alcoholic beverage, go to bed at a reasonable hour, and head home around when Andy normally wakes up.
What actually happens is that he orders pigs in a blanket and then only has the appetite for one bite, because he is sad. He packs the rest up for later, toasts Louis, and falls asleep with his clothes on before the sun has even fully set. After a nap, he ends up going for a long night time walk, until around 4am he realizes he's back at the driveway of the Canadian Consulate. So he tries to sneak up to bed with Andy without waking anyone. ]
[ Andy's in the living room, reading, because the idea of sleeping in an empty bed makes him queasy.
He spends the afternoon going through every stage of grief, which is ridiculous because he only said one stupid, thoughtless thing, and he alternates between flipping the pages forward and then back again, since he's not actually absorbing any of the words. ]
[ Oh. Yeah, okay. The initial chaos fades enough for Fraser to take in Andy's distress, and he immediately shuts up and holds him closer when he realizes. ]
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[ There's a pause. ]
... will you think very badly of me if I don't come home tonight?
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[ He'll think badly of himself, but that's fine. ]
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I'm sorry, Andy, but you don't. You're so focused on what we did wrong in the scenario, I don't think you realize you brushed right past the fact that my friend died right in front of me. When I said there was a bomber—
—I saw him. I saw him heading away from the car. I knew there was something wrong. I didn't know what. I tried to stop Louis from opening the door. I was only halfway across the street from him, yelling his name, but he didn't hear me. I was barely ten feet away when the whole thing went up in flames. I had to hold his partner back from throwing himself into the fireball in a futile attempt to save him, knowing it was too late, because I had been too late. I was a pallbearer at his funeral. We played cards together. He wanted to retire and become a comedian. You didn't let me tell you any of that.
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I'm so sorry Ben.
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... goodnight, then. I love you.
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[ Time to lie awake all night with the weight of my sins. ]
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What actually happens is that he orders pigs in a blanket and then only has the appetite for one bite, because he is sad. He packs the rest up for later, toasts Louis, and falls asleep with his clothes on before the sun has even fully set. After a nap, he ends up going for a long night time walk, until around 4am he realizes he's back at the driveway of the Canadian Consulate. So he tries to sneak up to bed with Andy without waking anyone. ]
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He spends the afternoon going through every stage of grief, which is ridiculous because he only said one stupid, thoughtless thing, and he alternates between flipping the pages forward and then back again, since he's not actually absorbing any of the words. ]
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Andy, are you alright? Is— did something happen to the lad?
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No, no, Andy's fine— the lad?
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Oh, good. But why are you— well, he is a lad. Dear God, I'm starting to sound like my father.
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[ He's walking over to give him a hug, but he hesitates, not sure if Ben wants a hug. ]
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I'm fine. Are you hungry...? I brought some pigs in a blanket.
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